Page 6 Daily Nebraskan Tuesday, January 20, 1987
Arts
(9
rl
mm
ivy
together, still grisly;
Nazareth playing Grove
By Charles Lieurance
Senior Reporter
Nazareth, a name synonymous
with grisly sub Frazetta album cov
ers featuring demons in Wagnerian
opera gear devouring pasty human
flesh with vile zeal. Oh, yeah, a:id
Concert Preview
there were some slab of vinyl inside,
too. Luckily the career of these Brit
ish metal merchants coincided per
fectly with the rise and fall of eight
track tapes, so most fans were
weaned away from this sludge with
the advent of cassettes. Not to say
that this isn't proper fodder for the
dimestore hippies of the world.
This is music ready made for
being warbled at full volume from
the wide open windows of souped
up Chevys. It shrieks, it screams, it
sounds best when it has to be
propped up in the eight-track player
with a matchbook cover. It makes
your eyes water.
It's playing at the Royal Grove
tonight. Unlike most revivals cf 70s
rock at the Grove, Nazareth is still
in its crcr.dl facutioa, ths f:rrr
t Jon tt fc .'.iv ii- IjO c 1 l in
roadies, or ths crirlr.il scund nun.
70s trjir-3 to crr.vl up the chrts
YOU CMVT SEE IT. FEEL IT.
TASTE IT. SMELL IT.
OUT HIGH DLOOD PRESSURE CAN HAVE A
DRAMATIC EFFECT Otl YOUR LIFE.
WE'RE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE
American Heart Association lf
Rain or Shine . . .
Tan Any Time!
10 sessions for $24
(25 minute sessions)
488-2183
UNL Dairy Store
Now in the City Union
Open: 11 a.m. Weekdays
2 p.m. Sat. & Sun.
"Happy Hour" Specials from 2:30-3:30 & 7:30-8:30
Located Near the
with everything from Canned Heat
style boogie to hard rock until they
finally scored big in 1975 with their
fourth album, "Hair of the Dog" (the
one with the furry, flame-eyed half
wolf creatures peeking out of a tent
on the front cover). The title cut and
their monster version of the Everly
Brother's "Love Hurts" hurtled the
band into the limelight far a couple
of years. "Love Hurts," is to this day
one of the best covers of all time,
ranking right up there with AM
radio anthems like the Pointer Sis
ter's "Fire" (a cover cf Robert Gor
don covering a Springsteen tune).
- Dan McCafferty, Nazareth's lead
shrieker, does the most overstated
Robert Plant impersonation in ex
istence on "Love Hurts" and man
ages to outscream even Con Scott on
the title track. What this voice must
sound like now is hard to guess. I
wouldn't be completely surprised if
McCafferty were singing through a
trachea box tonight.
Of course, Nazareth, like ?il great
70s AM radio stars, couldn't man
age to claw their way into the '80s
locking like anything but ugly
has-teens.
i;iTh$:ihowcost3 $9.": My guess is'-:'-rcth
ccJ.J h:.e hr.i tn o
thresh sclvis pretty trcr.i::u:
:ieribls!:tO;:!:b&:worth;' .nine bucks.
Cor. 205 1 tickets v.; re cr;!y 10 f:r
the "Hair cf iU Dcf vorli tour,
38th & South
Harvest Room
LARGE 16" PIZZA
One Ingredient
.99
Extra Ingredient or
Extra Cheese - $1 Additional
Expires Feb. 1, 1S87
A
V"
11:
Things to buy with
By Kevin Cowan
Staff Reporter
Hauled from the rubbish of pet rocks
and the like, the Daily Nebraskan
follows the footsteps of David Letter
man's "Stupid Pet Tricks." Pure, in
depth, investigative journalism has
shone a naked light on those little
articles of fur and plastic that make
millions for those beer-slurping, closet
capitalist inventors. You know, those
inane little artifacts found in aisles
next to the vampire teeth and plastic
jewelry. There's no real way to nail
these retail slugs down to any hardcore
genre; they're just those little things
that could only be sold in retail America.
So here they are for all to see . . .
worthless party favors and silly gim
micks; or, worthless gimmicks.
Fartin' Bears and Pigs: Cute
little hummers that will clear any room
when you squeeze their tummies. Great
to give to those roommates who always
complain of "beer farts" in the morning
after the keg is dry. A must for the
Methane-loving sweetheart in your life.
$11.95.
Naggerbags: "If he smokes too
much, drinks too much, doesn't talk
enough ... if he scratches himself, if he
doesn't come up to scratch" as the
package proclaims, then a naggerbag is
just the worthless gimmick you've been
looking for. On the surface it's just a
rubber bone padded with cotton in a
white plastic bag. Perfect for absolutely
nothing. $4.
Designer Plungers: These taste
lessly colored plumbers' helpers get my
vote for the most tacky worthless gim
mick. Inscribed with such toilet
warming phrases as "TNT" and "Women
At Work," these little' ca-ca movers
make you want to go home and start
shoving toilet paper down the pipes
just to see them in action. "They sold
better at Gateway," the girl behind the
counter murmured. For some reason I
would believe that. I'm kind of thankful
they didn't sell like hotcakes downtown
Warhol's 4
By Scott Harrah
Arts & Entertainment Editor
"Andy Warhol's Fifteen Min
utes" (MTV) Thursdays and
Sundays, 9 p.m.
Tube Talk
In the '60s, pop artist Andy War
hol used to invite journalists to his
studio, the Factory, and tell them
that he was making a new movie.
f
, ' f
Invasion of the plastic ants
m9 gaurtoge
all that extra money
. . . there have to be better things to
spend wasted money on. $12.50.
Blabber mouth: Kind of a novel
concept turn the radio on and a pair
of ruby-red chompers begin yakking
away. Seemingly the latest development
in lip-sync, this gimmick brings new
life to the proverbial chattering teeth.
$26.
All of the aforementioned items are
eagerly awaiting purchase, for no special
reason, at Thingsville.
But wait! There are more worthless
gimmicks that have proven themselves
worthy of newsprint.
Instant Zoo: There's a surprise
inside each capsule. Not quite as
interesting as the crystals that grew
stalagmites in a glass (when I was a
tyke), but fun to watch nonetheless.
Either one idiot wants to corner the
market in these or they are moderately
popular there were only three left in
the box. 98 cents.
Plastic Ants: That's all they are.
Life-size replicas of the little buggers.
"Great on cakes or in drinks," says
Duane Krepel, owner of Avant Card.
Krepel loves a good worthless gimmick,
he says, and he was delighted to show
me his collection of unique retail
"stuff." You might jump to the con
clusion that plastic ants could never be
the craze ... 11 gross of the wingless
insects have been sold mostly by the
piece. 12 cents each or 10 for $1.
VooDoo Doll: This could be big. A
doll that comes complete with pins and
strategic sticking points. Avant Card
has it on order, so you'll just have to
keep an eye peeled. The doll gets my
vote for the most constructive worthless
gimmick. If you don't have the notion
to check up on these dolls, just wait
until the left side of your body goes
numb then you'll know they're in.
Perfect for obtaining that long-desired
revenge on the object of your hatred.
Coming soon at $4.
Odds and Sorts: Avant Card had
such a collection of unique worthless
' not
Usually, all that was happening was
a bunch of drag queens and drugged
out socialists like Edie Sedgwick
were standing around posing and
asking each other what outfit they
should wear to "the clubs" later on.
So the journalists would snap every
one's picture and run them in the
paper the following day, claiming
that Warhol and his star-studded
coterie were making a new under
ground film that would define the
bohemian motives of the '60s era.
Even then, Warhol received great
acclaim for doing virtually nothing.
Minutes
e"' - .
Linda StoryDaily Nebraskan
31 0
mm jmms:
n
that you don 't need
gimmicks that to itemize them would
be lunacy. But the fact remains that
you, as a concerned connoisseur, must
know what a few of these useless
delectables are. Rubber cockroaches,
rubber ants and eyeballs, water-shooting
calculators, spark-shooting dinosaurs,
walking footballs (don't ask me who
came up with that one), and rubber
chicken keychains. The list goes on;
you'll have to see the remainder.
Dog-Headed Gun: Dirt Cheap is
sporting the latest in canine firearms,
simply a plastic pistol with a puppy
head. When you pull the trigger the
dog's head barks. While this may not
sound too wild in print, someone
obviously thinks they're the cat's meow.
Dirt Cheap is, for the moment, sold out
of this particular worthless gimmick.
$1.50.
For the worthless-gimmicks
nostigia buff: Humor at the expense
of others has not always been laden
with such a rare breed of exotic gim
micks. So for a musty breath of nost
algia, I went to check the place that
has been selling worthless gimmicks
for 36 years. Esther Lieurance, owner of
the Fun Shop, said that whoopee
cushions are still the best selling
novelty at her store. Also, "Snakes in a
Can," the old "here, have some nuts"
cliche, still sells to the vorthless
gimmick collectors of today. Aside
from those two, Lieurance's favorite
worthless gimmick are the string catsup
and mustard bottles. They contain a
red or yellow string, respectively, and
spew out at unsuspecting prey. Lieur
ance waits until the customer asks
what they're for, and then, she remarks,
"and then I show them."
That pretty much covers the worthless-gimmick
scene for now. However,
worthless gimmicks are a dynamic
breed subject (except for the "clas
sics") to monumental change over
night. So pull your noses from those
textbooks and get searching for your
very own non-utilitarian hoopla.
worth time
That same level of absurdity, fab
rication and artsy b.s. illuminates
the most ridiculous show on televi
sion, "Andy Warhol's Fifteen Min
utes." The show is like a surreal
Miller and Paine commercial that
wallows in pretensions and inten
tional idiocy. It always begins with
some cheap disco music and the
words "fashion," "art" or "neo drag"
flashing across the screen. Click.
Next we see Andy chatting with
Grace Jones, Debbie Harry or Jerry
Hall about what they're wearing.
See. WARHOL on 7
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