Page 12 Daily Nebraskan Wednesday, December 10, 1986 Smoke Signals 1 no drag; full of energy, creativity By Bryan Peterson Staff Reporter MDC, "Smoke Signals" (Radical Records) MDC's newest LP, "Smoke Sig nals," gets me excited! 1986 has seen more punk bands than ever on vinyl, and more punk albums than ever are starting to sound the same. Record Review Meanwhile, more bands are releas ing vinyl, something that renews my faith in hardcore punk as a source of hope in this crazed world. MDC's new album is full of energy and creativity. Most of the songs are long and more complicated than those on past releases. One of the few all-out thrashers orr this album is "Skateboards From Hell," a hum orous look at one of America's latest fads. There is even a love song (for tofutti) on this LP a remake of Little Richard's "Tutti Frutti." "Countrysquak" and "Missile Des troyed Civilization" both appeared on previous releases, but there are plenty of original songs on "Smoke Signals." "Smoke Signals" is used as the title for an instrumental and the theme of this album. The album's cover is filled with scenes reflecting this theme: an exploding space shuttle, the Statue of Liberty grasp ing a handgun, smoldering nuclear reactors, and a space "defense"sys tem. As for lyrics, MDC continues to provide its audience with sincere words, not Reaganesque rhetorical babblings. "Acceptable Risks . . . the Challenger lostAcceptably risky O-rings in frost . . . They sing a song of apple pie and momReactor disaster or hydrogen H-bomb. . .That's acceptable, though quite regretta ble." A bit more straightforward is "South Africa is Free," a celebra tion of human struggle and a reali zation that apartheid is not limited to South Africa it can be found at Big Mountain, in Atlanta, in Omaha and Lincoln anywhere that skin color is used as a basis for one's status in society. . .should serve as a real eye opener for those willing to listen' The "Smoke Signals" LP should serve as a real eye-opener for those willing to listen. With all the smoke signals this world is putting out, it is time we opened our eyes to the need for change in this world. From One Outstanding Unit To A New Outstanding Unit The Nebraska Air Guard has several options for anyone who wants to join our winning team. The Air Guard will pay up to 75 of your tui tion. The new G.I. bill pays $140 per month for full time students. The G.I. bill will also repay you $500 a year for tuition or 15 which ever is higher. The Nebraska Air National Guard Celebrates its 40th Anniversary in winning the prestigious Air Force Outstanding Unit Award. The Ne braska Aid Guard also welcomes Danny Nee, his entire coaching staff and the 1986-87 Cornhusker Basketball Team and wish them much success. Nebraska Air Guard America's Hometown Air Force 475-4910 GUARD 4 M , V i rf--f..,...-.v.-. t ' Ifrt"' ' Getting comfortable with an IBM PC can put you in a good posit ion ia w v. -I The popular IBM Personal Computer. The cornvnientlv compact IBUPCComvrtible. Here come the judges; justice for 90 minutes By Charles Lieurance Diversions Editor It's afternoon TVs 90 minutes of jus tice. Judge Wapner, Keene and "The Judge" unrelentingly mete out pun ishment to the wicked, rewards to the deserving and lengthy platitudes to all in a modern reaffirmation of the Ser mon on the Mount. The meek shall inherit $75 in damages and court costs, the simple at heart get to keep the suburban duplex, the family station wagon and the sobbing little girl named Beverly. Tube Talk The wicked get to stand in shame before the omniscient microphone of Doug Llewelyn. They get a story from the judge about how black the world has become, how bleak are the pros pects, when he was a boy growing up in the soggy hills of West Virginia The 90 minutes begins with "Divorce Court," in which actors too awful to hawk Charmin and dishwashing soap recreate actual divorce cases before Judge Keene who spent his whole "real" life doing that job for California. X wants a divorce because Y is a vam pire, because he uses hisher comb, shaves in bed, gives hisher children illicit drugs, mouths the words to popu lar songs, because she is a dragon lady, because he is the Marquis De Sade. . And fidelity, don't mention it. His best friend spotted her in a motel room with stiletto heels and a leather bra, fornicating with the plumber, the milkman, a Shetland pony, the boys from the recording studio, Fernando Llamas, Bert Convey, the cast and crew of the Broadway musical "Sweeney Todd." He was involved in a permanent indiscriminate rutting ritual since the day after their honeymoon. He had dis eases that make scientists cry. She is lucky to have been risen from the dead for this divorce hearing. He began to undress on their honeymoon, saw television for the first time and fell into a 20-year trance that doctors diag nosed as "voodoo death." After this half hour comes the tricky part. You see, "People's Court" and "The Judge" are on at the same time. How can you miss a half hour of justice? Even if you switch back and forth you miss valuable testimony. How can you be a fair, prudent juror if you're missing the tale of how this unscrupulous dry cleaner washed her satin party dress in indelible ink by accident. Meanwhile you're missing "The Judge" who is ask ing a 10-year-old child to show him with the G.I. Joe and Barbie doll exactly what went on that night when Uncle Ken babysat. How's a potential afternoon juror to cope? It's enough to make a person turn to the After School Special, but it's your duty to find a way, to make a fair, prudent decision based on the facts. You have to ignore the fact that the husband looks like Bela Lugosi and the wife looks like Pollyanna. You have to ignore the fact that the dry cleaner looks like Fu Manchu and the customer looks like Rebecca De Mornay. Just the facts, ma'am. Let's rate the judges. Let'3 reach a verdict on that score. First, Judge Wapner. He's a kindly old codger with a sense of humor and, hey, these aren't fidgety actors he's dealing with. These are "real" people, as far as that adjec tive goes. Half the time he locks like he wants to wad his robes up in a ball, toss 'em in the dumpster and hobo around the country in empty cattle cars. He shakes his head, "Now, ma'am, it's this gentleman's turn to speak, you had your turn, remember . . ." and there's a gleam in his eye like Santa Claus. The lady's mumbling something in Serbian. Wapner's the best for my money. Then there's "The Judge." "The Judge" is like a cranky guidance coun selor. He only likes children. Everyone else is suspect. Parents are evil turn keys capable of incest, torture, bestial ity, battery and non-nutritious grocery shopping. Children are pure and inno cent, incapable of lying. "The Judge" is the sort of old man who would spend whole nights at his window facing your house, trying to see what you were doing to your children. He's tell gossip about unspeakable acts he'd heard. Actually it was the blender pureeing. How's a potential afternoon jurpr to cope? Then there's the great Judge Keene, whose job is all too easy. He rarely faces the familial atrocities "The Judge" faces and he doesn't have the burden of real-life justice that Wapner has. In short, he's just lazing his way through retirement. He's the smartest. Even though he pretends to pay attention, you know that condo of his in Acapulco is the main thing on his mind. "You say you husband's a vampire, ma'am. Well, live with it. My IRA comes due next season." E3J- U Your education will not end with nnnpOrrO graduation. As a graduate nurse L JliiJLfcJjlti) at Rochester Methodist HosDital. you will receive a comprehensive twelve-week long orientation where you will further develop your professional skills. Beyond orientation, you will have the chal lenges and the growth opportuni ties that a world-class medical center can provide. December grads apply now for positions available in early 1987. Starting salary $23,681 . Attractive benefit package. Rochester Methodist Hospital is an 800 bed acute care facility affil . iated with the Mayo Medical Cen ter. Choose challenge. Choose growth. Choose Rochester Meth odist Hospital. Rochester Methodist Hospital Personnel Services Nursing Recruitment Section 201 West Center Street Rochester. MN 55902 Call Collect: (507) 286-7091 OOCHESTEn niETEion HOSPITAL An Equal Opportunity Employer