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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1986)
Page 18 Supplement to the Daily Nebraskan Monday, December 1, 1986 C 1 VAIL, COLORADO January 3-9, 1987 Includes: Transportation Lift Ticket Luxury Condos Memories & FUN! ONLY $274.00 $50 deposit required SIGN UP TODAY! CAP Office -200 Union Christmas form letter saves time; glosses over hard realities U Mr, t deadline Dec. 10 Every Christmas I get one of those typed mimeographed form letters from my Aunt Bertha who thinks she can save loads of time by simply putting down all the fascinating family events of the past year and stuffing it in Stew Magnuson with her cheesy Christmas cards. Of course, these letters only talk about the good things that happen in her family, they don't mention my cousin Ernie doing five-to-ten in the slammer for bad breath. Traditionally, Aunt Bertha sends out her form letters as soon as ShopCo starts running their Christmas ads on TV. In other words, I got her letter early in October. Since Aunt Bertha is my mother's sister, I have the inside scoop on what really happened in her family. (Reality is in bold print.) Dear (insert name of friends or family here), Merry Christmas and happy holidays from me and mine to you and yours. Good tidings to all, joyous Noel and Happy New Year. I hope this letter finds you all in good health. Aunt Bert ha is wasting space. I I For The Husker Fan JJ I VT- Husker Stylej M B ir i""' "'"" ""fTTn-" -' m 80 density hard insert sole h 1 I V, injury preventive heel stabilizer I 1 i v J Cappaudix durable outsole I 1 -?"! '4:;. .. " r"! I I I tiK"Ss'''l- I FOR MAIL ORDER ONLY I ( A- I Name: . j I I f ' r - " I School: ; Size mens: I I 5 j J" Womens: 1 v t s" 1 I Please send $23 95 (handling & tax included) to: I I j iJj P P- Inc.. P.O. Box 12446. Overland Park. KS 66212 j r THE LAZARE DIAMOND" WHEN IT COMES TO DIAMONDS... THINK BRILLIANCE. Brilliance is unique. Rare. Desirable. Especially when it comes to diamonds. The Lazare Diamond is truly brilliant. Cut to ideal proportions, it releases a matchless fire and beauty, along with a unique means of identification, (Laser Inscribed) Give the diamond with a difference that's perfectly brilliant. The Lazare Diamond. Setting the standard for brilliance. v (Q) JEWELERS "Downtown" "Gateway" Corner of 13th & P at Ben Simons MEMBER AMERICAN GEM SOCIETY Well, as you all may have heard, I went through my third hysterectomy last month, but I've weathered the storm. My youngest, Todd, now age six and starting pre school, had a terrible bout with the whooping cough last winter. That Todd is always getting himself into a jam, so far t his year he's broken his right arm twice, his left leg once and had his right ear lobe bitten off by his pet mouse Herbert .... Aunt Bertha now goes into a long tedious account of every illness and malady in her ex tended family. Incidentally, Todd's pet mouse is really a rat, and the rat's name is really Adolph. He's been kicked out of preschool twice for mobilizing his fellow children and launching Blitzkriegs on his pre-school teachers. Ernie, my oldest boy, is due to get out of school this September. Sure, the school of license plate making. Fred (her husband) has an interest ing job in advertising. Fred puts up billboards. By the way, Fred's cousin Tom will be taking some time away from his assign ment in Shanghai to spend the holidays with us this year. Lives in Cleveland. Well, hope this reaches you in time. As usual this time of year, everything is in such a flurry at our house. Bertha Boughs of folly . HARRAH from Page 16 I am one who only steps foot in a church on Christmas Eve, mostly because my parents force me to. So I sit in the pews and gaze at all the we're oblivious to the ludicrous nature of good old Yule. So why do we behave in such an odd, hedonis tic, flamboyant manner? Because it's all a hell of a lot of fun. Christ mas is supposedly a holiday set people in their lovely new Christ- aside to recognize the birthday of a mas clotnes as I noid tnose "Christmas candles" that drip wax all over the the place and listen to babies crying as their mothers ineptly try to shut them up. Those babies have the right idea. You'd cry too if you had to sit still in some dinky velvet infant gown and smile at all the old ladies who come up to you and say, "So, have you been a good child this year? Will Santa be good to you tonight?" Boughs of folly? During the Christmas season, we deck the world and our pragmatic souls with boughs of folly, because Christian icon, but we make it much more. After reading the proceeding gripes, you probably think I don't like Christmas. Wrong. It's my favor ite time of the year. Any season that promotes so much self-indulgence, pleasure-seeking and greed is okay with me. And you thought Christmas was all about giving and spreading good will towards men, right? Well, not quite. 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