The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, December 01, 1986, JAZZ UP YOUR HOLIDAYS, Page Page 7, Image 15
Monday, December 1, 1986 Toys . . . Supplement to the Daily Nebraskan r : z Page 7 1 TOYS . . . from Page 6 4. .45 Automatic: In most states you can only got these when you're 13 or older, and in some you need a written not e from your parents saying "the right to keep and bear arms is the right to a free America." If you parents are reluctant to buy you one of your own, just use theirs. It's up in the drawer next to their bed. 5. G.I. Joe with Kung Fu Grip: Great idea this Kung Fu grip. You could latch Joe on the backs of cars with it, or onto your dog's tail. Or take off Joe's head, put an M-80 inside, put the head back on leaving a little of the fuse dangling, latch Joe's Kung Fu grip onto the end of a rope, light the M-80, start spinning the rope in the air with Joe swirling a good distance from your hand and watch those fireworks. War is hell and, as you'll see, having a Kung Fu grip don't make it much better. 6. Prosthetic Limbs: I was about 13 (old enough for a handgun in most states) when I realized there was a whole Christmas catalogue, not just the toy pages. Sears or somebody even had fake limbs. Now if these weren't the coolest! Parents really like it when you don't ask for stuff from the adult sections of the wish book and they especially like it when you don't ask for a fake leg. As I grew up, I questioned why one would buy someone a prosthetic limb for Christmas. It would look real conspicuous under the tree and it seems like its presence would kind of bum everyone out. hood making some really wild mud pies in an EZ Bake oven. 10. Comic Book Submarine: I could never get my parents to mail away for one of these but the whole idea seemed great. From the picture, it looked like you could actually set the damn thing in the water and fit two or three people inside. Sounds like the ideal fort to me. 11. VHF Viewmaster: The 3 D stuff was the best. Remember how you used to get bored as hell with some family slide show of Yellowstone or a family reunion, go to your room and tour Disneyland or Mount Rushmore on the VHF. The slides weren't any more exciting but they were yours. And you could narrate them any way you saw fit. "And here's Aunt Marge sliding down Lincoln's face to a slow and painful death ... See you can barely see here there by the left nostril ..." 12. Master of the Universe sets: Whenever I meet a kid nowadays or babysit with one, I ask him or her if they want to play with their Master of the Universe sets. If they don't have one my day is spoiled. I've only see the things all wrapped up, with the big glow in the dark skull and everything. I want to play with one so bad it hurts. 3 From One Outstanding Unit To A New Outstanding Unit The Nebraska Air Guard has several options for anyone who wants to join our winning team. The Air Guard will pay up to 75'V of your tui tion. The new G.I. bill pays $140 per month for full time students. The G.I. bill will also repay you $500 a year for tuition or 1 5 which ever is higher. The Nebraska Air National Guard Celebrates its 40th Anniversary in winning the prestigious Air Force Outstanding Unit Award. The Ne braska Aid Guard also welcomes Danny Nee, his entire coaching staff and the 1986-87 Cornhusker Basketball Team and wish them much success. Nebraska Air Guard America's Hometown Air Force 475-4910 GUARD 7. Bozo Punching Bags: There's nothing more fun that beating the living sin out of an inflatable clown. It's particularly fun on Christmas morning. Your parents have on some "peace on earth, good will to men" record and you're trying to wipe that grin off Bozo's mug. Joy to the world. 8. Close and Play record play ers: I used one of these until about a year ago. Led Zeppelin sound really cool coming out of those little horrible speakers. It gives you a real sense of your roots and upbringing to play the Sex Pistols on the same record player on which you once listened to Burl Ives sing "Seven Little Ducks." 9. EZ Bake Ovens: I don't want to seem sexist. I assume these were pretty neat for little girls. I mean they were trusting you with a heatinj' mechanism, right? Sounds like there was some cool stuff you could do with that and a little imagination. I seem to remember some girls in my neighbor- "Tfs-fte wxscn Hon M hot totfnfy because it Bi'f uq heres hxn foaffinfl br-ead, bans qoodi es - you aei'Qhf Such as peanur bnWe, ecc&es, team cheese 13. Erector Sets: Legos and Tinker Toys are for wimps. You can build real machines with Erector Sets; sturdy functional instruments of des truction. You can pit a G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu Grip against an engineer's night mare. Here it comes. Joe latches on and the thing eats his hand like a grain auger. Knowing the martial arts has its drawbacks. 14. Tonka trucks: When Tonka trucks get into accidents it's more like real life. I mean, they're real steel and when you drop them off the roof or ram them into concrete, the steel turns up into sharp dangerous edges just like in real life. Kung Fu doesn't do much good against a Tonka Truck going at full speed either. 3&&i&ty .V : .v ' s' & t: B he Winning Combination Data Link $699.95 KX-P1080i $250.00 Panasonic Industrial Company-Printer 15. Hot Wheels: Okay, at the beginning of the track you have your launcher that spits the car out onto the drag strip. It has to leap a ramp, it lands safely on the next segment of the track, it goes in for a pit stop and gets spit out the other side. It does two loops in a row, takes a dangerous curve successfully and goes up a steep incline, across the bed and down again, picking up speed. Two more loops, an obstacle course and home free. And there was always some jerk on the block who wanted you to come over and play with his matchbox cars. Matchbox cars are the Edsels of the toy car world. Hot Wheels are Ferarris. - r-- - i ft v: f 't w m f 1 -1 i 1 ft ? : pi. I 5 - 'j j , 1 .m '5Lh ll N r " " """"1 i 1 ( Operator-accessible print mode selector with neat letter quality Dip switch selectable IBM & EPSON printer modes Friction feed and adjustable tractor are standard P. 1 vv I. i if si I ii ?: f V ( ..... a a f I I . 9 ' N " S IdM UompatiDie uompuier is.eyooara oumrui araDhics Built-in 640 Turbo Board ft' : 0 170 CPS uiuni com pan (402) 466-1962 All Spedial- METTLER FAMILY BAKERY IlihEG 474-5644 220N.101h 3814Nofmal 237 S. 70th "3;: - I : : " ft