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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1986)
Monday, December 1, 1986
Toys . . .
Supplement to the Daily Nebraskan
r : z
TOYS . . . from Page 6
4. .45 Automatic: In most states
you can only got these when you're 13
or older, and in some you need a
written not e from your parents saying
"the right to keep and bear arms is the
right to a free America." If you parents
are reluctant to buy you one of your
own, just use theirs. It's up in the
drawer next to their bed.
5. G.I. Joe with Kung Fu Grip:
Great idea this Kung Fu grip. You could
latch Joe on the backs of cars with it, or
onto your dog's tail. Or take off Joe's
head, put an M-80 inside, put the head
back on leaving a little of the fuse
dangling, latch Joe's Kung Fu grip onto
the end of a rope, light the M-80, start
spinning the rope in the air with Joe
swirling a good distance from your
hand and watch those fireworks. War is
hell and, as you'll see, having a Kung Fu
grip don't make it much better.
6. Prosthetic Limbs: I was about
13 (old enough for a handgun in most
states) when I realized there was a
whole Christmas catalogue, not just
the toy pages. Sears or somebody even
had fake limbs. Now if these weren't
the coolest! Parents really like it when
you don't ask for stuff from the adult
sections of the wish book and they
especially like it when you don't ask for
a fake leg.
As I grew up, I questioned why one
would buy someone a prosthetic limb
for Christmas. It would look real
conspicuous under the tree and it
seems like its presence would kind of
bum everyone out.
hood making some really wild mud pies
in an EZ Bake oven.
10. Comic Book Submarine: I
could never get my parents to mail
away for one of these but the whole
idea seemed great. From the picture, it
looked like you could actually set the
damn thing in the water and fit two or
three people inside. Sounds like the
ideal fort to me.
11. VHF Viewmaster: The 3 D
stuff was the best. Remember how you
used to get bored as hell with some
family slide show of Yellowstone or a
family reunion, go to your room and
tour Disneyland or Mount Rushmore on
the VHF. The slides weren't any more
exciting but they were yours. And you
could narrate them any way you saw fit.
"And here's Aunt Marge sliding down
Lincoln's face to a slow and painful
death ... See you can barely see here
there by the left nostril ..."
12. Master of the Universe
sets: Whenever I meet a kid nowadays
or babysit with one, I ask him or her if
they want to play with their Master of
the Universe sets. If they don't have one
my day is spoiled. I've only see the
things all wrapped up, with the big
glow in the dark skull and everything. I
want to play with one so bad it hurts.
From One Outstanding
Unit To A New
The Nebraska Air Guard
has several options for
anyone who wants to
join our winning team.
The Air Guard will pay
up to 75'V of your tui
tion. The new G.I. bill
pays $140 per month
for full time students.
The G.I. bill will also
repay you $500 a year
for tuition or 1 5 which
ever is higher.
The Nebraska Air National Guard Celebrates
its 40th Anniversary in winning the prestigious
Air Force Outstanding Unit Award. The Ne
braska Aid Guard also welcomes Danny Nee,
his entire coaching staff and the 1986-87
Cornhusker Basketball Team and wish them
Nebraska Air Guard
America's Hometown Air Force 475-4910
7. Bozo Punching Bags: There's
nothing more fun that beating the
living sin out of an inflatable clown. It's
particularly fun on Christmas morning.
Your parents have on some "peace on
earth, good will to men" record and
you're trying to wipe that grin off Bozo's
mug. Joy to the world.
8. Close and Play record play
ers: I used one of these until about a
year ago. Led Zeppelin sound really
cool coming out of those little horrible
speakers. It gives you a real sense of
your roots and upbringing to play the
Sex Pistols on the same record player
on which you once listened to Burl Ives
sing "Seven Little Ducks."
9. EZ Bake Ovens: I don't want to
seem sexist. I assume these were
pretty neat for little girls. I mean they
were trusting you with a heatinj'
mechanism, right? Sounds like there
was some cool stuff you could do with
that and a little imagination. I seem to
remember some girls in my neighbor-
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13. Erector Sets: Legos and
Tinker Toys are for wimps. You can
build real machines with Erector Sets;
sturdy functional instruments of des
truction. You can pit a G.I. Joe with the Kung
Fu Grip against an engineer's night
mare. Here it comes. Joe latches on and
the thing eats his hand like a grain
auger. Knowing the martial arts has its
14. Tonka trucks: When Tonka
trucks get into accidents it's more like
real life. I mean, they're real steel and
when you drop them off the roof or ram
them into concrete, the steel turns up
into sharp dangerous edges just like in
real life. Kung Fu doesn't do much good
against a Tonka Truck going at full
.V : .v '
B he Winning Combination
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15. Hot Wheels: Okay, at the
beginning of the track you have your
launcher that spits the car out onto the
drag strip. It has to leap a ramp, it
lands safely on the next segment of the
track, it goes in for a pit stop and gets
spit out the other side. It does two
loops in a row, takes a dangerous curve
successfully and goes up a steep
incline, across the bed and down again,
picking up speed. Two more loops, an
obstacle course and home free.
And there was always some jerk on
the block who wanted you to come over
and play with his matchbox cars.
Matchbox cars are the Edsels of the toy
car world. Hot Wheels are Ferarris.
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Dip switch selectable IBM & EPSON
Friction feed and adjustable tractor
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METTLER FAMILY BAKERY
220N.101h 3814Nofmal 237 S. 70th "3;:
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