Daily Nebraskan
Friday, November 2, 1986
Four years of living (and learning)
Page 5
HUDLER from Page 4
would wait until we hung up. Then the
lecture would begin.
"Don't you know what she's think
ing?" they would ask. "You're being an
incredible jerk. How can you say some
thing like that to her?"
The remarks were appreciated. 1
don't think I am a very sensitive
person, and it's good to be reminded of
that sometimes.
Double-dating also helped. When I
wanted to know how someone felt
about me, I would take her out on a
double date with Luanne. At the
evening's end we reverted to junior
high antics.
"Well, do you think she likes me?" I
would ask. And we would pour a diet
pop and chat all night about the
women's expectations in a relationship.
The chats gave me insights I wouldn't
get from talking with Steve. They taught
me that sensitivity in a man can be
cool. And that machismo sets off red
warning lights in some women's minds.
It was also fun seeing how Luanne
and Cindy treated the guys they were
dating. Sometimes Luanne would drop
her normal and natural tough-as-nails
personality and adopt a more passive
"Oh-I'm-a-weak-little-woman" tone to
her voice. Then it was my turn to give
advice.
"Luanne, if you can't be yourself in
front of the guy, he's obviously a jerk.
Dump him. He only wants an easy romp
in bed anyway."
You lose a little modesty living with
women. You learn your sexuality isn't
dirty and you quit hiding it. You learn
that maxi-pads and menstrual cycles
aren't naughty, disgusting things, but
symbols of simple, necessary human
functions. You begin to wonder why we
deal so heavily in euphemisms.
Cindy doesn't mind slipping on her
tight tights for aerobics; Ad doesn't
mind parading around in his underwear
in front of Cindy's guests.
Living with the opposite sex also
gives me access to resident fashion
expertise. Nobody know what looks
more appealing on a man than a
woman, and vice-versa. I've also learned
a new vernacular: Pumps. Flats. Teal.
Living with women makes an Inter
esting lunchtime topic with friends.
"Oh that would be nice," a female
friend once told me. "It would be great
because I would feel safer having a man
around the house."
"Protection?" I replied, laughing.
Then I told her that Luanne was the
karate expert in the family, One time
she threatened a guy at a party who was
about to bash my face ia
Through it all, we lived purely
platonic relationships. The only sex
was oral sex: We talked about it.
I leave in December. With me I take
some extra knowledge and extra respect
for women, simply because I've lived
with them. We lived as equals. We all
carried the heavy packages from the
car. We all had to cook and clean the
toilet.
It was a four-year lesson in equality
that should last a lifetime.
Hudler is a senior news-editorial major
and Daily Nebraskan Sower editor.
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Letter
NSSA campus coordinator: We are all in this together
As campus coordinator for the
Nebraska State Student Association, I
would like to reply to the editorial
entitled "Motto Unfulfilled" (DN, Nov.
17). I think since I was there in a
non-voting capacity I saw some of these
problems a little more clearly than
others did.
First off, you say that NSSA places
the blame at the feet of the UNL dele
gation. This is incorrect. The blame for
any problems that arose does not lie
with any delegation. It lies with the
fact that many of the people there were
for the first time experiencing an
assembly of NSSA. According to an
accounting I took, 90 percent of the
delegates at the assembly were new to
NSSA. The students, at times, seemed
unaware of how or what they were vot
ing. There was a problem with everyone
knowing parliamentary procedure.
Next, you delcare that UNL has few
concerns that are similar to those of
other campuses. I differ with you here,
since UNL, in conjunction with Peru
State, founded NSSA five years ago. I do
not believe the problems facing the
campus have changed that much that
UNL and its student body can call itself
that much different than the others.
Students everywhere have many of the
same concerns; this has been shown in
the successes of the past five years.
I also would like to point out that
NSSA stands for the concerns of stu
dents as a whole, not for individual
campuses. You say the delegations
(especially UNL's) were supposedly
representing student concerns and that
the delegates represented their consti
tuency well. Here, I would like to point
out that UNL and a few other campuses
had no representatives or voting dele
gates to stand up for minority, handi
capped, gay, non-traditional or foreign
student interests.
Lastly, I wish to address the state
ment of UNL's uselessness in partici
pating in NSSA. As I said earlier, UNL
founded NSSA. It was formed so that a
statewide, consolidated view could be
formed and presented to those who
should know the interests of students.
NSSA has often worked and plans to
continue working with the GLC and
ASUN. UNL is different in many senses,
but it also is a campus full of con
cerned students, many of which are
similar to those of other campuses.
UNL should be a leader in finding solu
tions for those concerns, but it should
not have to do it alone. As it was said
before, "We are all in this together."
David Melton
UNL campus coordinator NSSA
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NSSA motto suffocates some
says a member of the board
It is unfortunate that an NSSA board member
feels the need to lash out unjustifiably against
UNL's delegation with unfounded logic and fal
sity, when supposedly the NSSA board members
are working to better the organization with the
motto "We are all in this together."
Guest Opinion
I refer to the letter to the editor (DN, Nov. 17)
in which Wayne State's Mike Soltys charged that
the NSSA policy platform (the statement which
governs the group's actions) should be a list of
objectives that benefits the organization. But I
think Soltys should realize that NSSA is not set
up to benefit the said organizations, but to
benefit higher education in Nebraska.
Then Soltys writes that the policy platform
that was passed by the NSSA Assembly favors
one campus, but of course he cites no examples
to support this accusing statement because
there is nothing in the passed policy platform
that points to a particular campus. Furthermore,
Soltys claims that UNL was given a majority of
delegates to do these dastardly deeds; in fact
UNL has four votes short of a majority if the other
member campuses would actively pariticipate.
And what really digs to the heart of Soltys'
argument is that UNL used its alleged majority
power to control and mastermind all of the
issues before the NSSA Assembly, but in fact the
vote for all of the amendments brought forward
were either handily defeated or accepted by
nearly a two-thirds vote, not just a majority.
Moreover, when the vote to call the question on
the entire policy platform was called, the tally
was 38-12, well over the needed two-thirds vote
to end discussion on the entire matter.
The point is that the state colleges and UNO,
instead of trying to air their differences in stu
dent newspapers across the state, could have
offered further amendments and ensued the dis
cussion if they truly had a problem with the issue
before them, but some 38 chose not to. And for
some reason unknown to me, Soltys wanted the
UNL delegation to vote against the policy plat
form that they drafted and presented to the rest
of the NSSA member institutions two weeks
ahead of time and received no feedback positive
or negative from any campus until it hit the floor
of the Assembly.
Soltys then shifts gears and claims that his
campus voted to benefit all of the member insti
tutions and that the UNL delegation should re
evaluate its decision and give up its identity to
benefit all the campuses. What Soltys does not
understand is that the NSSA Constitution charges
the NSSA delegates to represent their particular
institution on that road to improved education. I
guess that is part of the reason why we called
and voted as the UNL delegation.
Another key to this argument is that the
Wayne State delegation made an amendment to
strike the language in the policy platform that
dealt with giving a student-regent vote and a
State College Board student vote. I know that the
Wayne State delegation is looking out for the
best of all of the campuses, but I do not think the
UNL delegation was wrong when it did not agree
with the Wayne State philosophy that students
don't have the knowledge or the experience to
be represented as voting members on the boards
mentioned above. This illustrates the need for
each delegation to represent its campus before
trying to pass judgment on the actions and
beliefs of another.
I hope, as the NSSA board member from UNL,
that my fellow board mebmers would not fault
the UNL delegation for standing up for what they
believe in and representing their respective
institution. Further, I hope that UNL would not
be faulted for bringing its full and justified
membership to the Assembly, not to mention its
insistence that the rules and guidelines put
forth in the NSSA Constitution be obeyed to the
letter and not manipulated to meet the needs of
an ill-prepared member institution or the cen
tral office of NSSA. There is certainly a glimmer
of hope still embodied in NSSA as long as it can
be realized that the member institutions are
uniquely different and have specific roles and
responsibilities, according to Nebraska statutes,
that cannot be suffocated by the motto, "We are
all in this together."
Dan J. Hofmeister
Nebraska State Student Association
board of directors, secretary
ASUN first vice president
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