Friday, November 14, 1986
Daily Nebraskan
8
Dealing in trath, losing in lie
Coke addict rebuilds his homelife, re-examines his past
COCAINE from Paqe 1 a'so ,lit,(l ,0 vvarn ,,,oir kll,s a,,uul ,lu'
dangers of drugs and alcohol, Thov
"Wo wont there to be the godparents know that's why their father had to no
of a friend's child," Michele savs, "but I awav.
guess maybe some business went on
there that I didn't know about."
The questions kept coming but
Michele couldn't st opening long enough
to speak clearly. The police knew more
than she did they'd been following
Tony and had bugged their house.
"The main concern for me that day
After two months at the diagnostic
center and six months in minimum
security, Tony returned home.
The family still lives in the same
house they did three years ago. Tony
has the same job ho managed to
convince his boss to rehire him, after a
lot of negotiating and explaining.
was my kids iiony and Michele have On the surface, the family might
two children from previous marriages.) seem the same as before drugs entered
were his enemies. But now he's glad lie
got caught.
Michele is glad. to. She's glad that
the lies stopped before they curried her
t unity into even more trouble.
"This was the only way to stop it. If
he hadn't been stopped by the police,
he would have gone on and on and it
would have gotten worse and worse."
This story was done in conjunction with
the UNL College ol Journalism depth
reporting class, taught by Al Pagel,
University Floral
Student Priced
Holiday Door Decorations
474-3792
118 N. 14th 1 Vi blks south of Nebraska Union
They were coming home from school
and they weren t going to find (anyone).
I had to be at work that day, too. And
you know I was not going to work
because I was so upset."
She was angry, too,
their lives. Bin underneath, things have
changed.
Their relationship is deeper now and
more honest, Michele says.
"It was an artificial life before. Now
it is true communication. Before it was
"I was angry with him for lying to me like 'I love you, I miss you. If we got
upset, we got upset. It was never a true
communication of feelings, of fears."
Tony no longer feels like he has to
live two lives.
"I'm real, I'm not a phony. I have
learned to be comfortable with who I
and doing this. But we talked and I find
out it's more than that He didn't do
it on purpose to hurt me."
She finally decided to stay with
Tony, even though she admits she was
still resentful.
"We had been living together for two am. I have learned to be myself."
and a half years and to me, even though , ..
this had never been legal, to me it was D ?aUi!e addicts are never corn
still a marriage. And to me, that means V Plete,y "f"rcd Tony continues
going through thick and thin," she attend AA meetings. Volunteer
says, ing at the Independence Center, he
Shortly after Tony's arrest, the two sa,is his vva' ()f repaying a debt,
decided to get married. But on the day .' m not Poaching t o anybody. . . I
nf the wprlHinn. Mlrhol.. w.. rw.ti.ri stlc'k around there because I feel com-
T
l.il . .i
anu laKen into me ponce station a
second time.
"I think they were trying to put some
pressure on him to talk," Michele said.
Without the bride, the guests had to
be called and Dlans cancelled.
hey tinally were married a few
weeks later.
But the honeymoon was sha
dowed
dovved by the impending sentencing,
and one more lie. Tony still hadn't
admitted to Michele that he was
addicted to cocaine. He insisted that
he used it only occasionally.
The in-patient treatment program at
Lincoln General Hospital's Independ
ence Center helped Tony realize he had
a problem he finally was able to
admit that he was addicted. He stopped
using drugs and stopped drinking. He
stopped seeing many of his old buddies
and began attending Alcoholics Ano
nymous meetings.
The family also got involved in
treatment, attending lectures and
counseling sessions wit h other families
victimized by drug abuse.
Michele remembers hearing the hor
ror stories of debt s, beatings and abuse.
The plight of others almost made her
feel lucky.
And she remembers the lessons of
treatment "Don't blame yourself.
Offer to help the abuser, but take care
of yourself first. It's their problem."
The family spent time together at a
karate class. That also helped them
heal, Michele says.
But more than anything else, Michele
says faith in God helped get the family
through the uncertain times that fol
lowed the arrest and then the lonely,
financially shaky year that Tony spent
in prison.
Tony and Michele remember how
tough it was to explain all of it to their
two children.
"I could not just disappear," Tony
says, "I felt they should know. It was
very hard, but we did sit down and talk
about it."
"I think they understood that he did
something naughty and he was being
punished," Michele says. The couple
fortable and needed. It's not the false
pride I had selling dope. It's a real
thing. I'm useful just fur what I am. Not
for what I have."
Tony used to hate the police. They
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