Page i )
"IS.S.IP.99
Daily Nebraskan
Thursday, October 30, 1986
On a recent visit to my
orthodontist I noticed a
familiar magazine winking at
me from amidst the Field and
Streams and Bicuspid Quarter
lies. The magazine, maybe you
know it Highlights, was always
the reason for my tardiness as
a youth. The receptionist
would call my name and I
would continue to color, finish
crossword puzzles or find the
moral to the GoofusGallant
stories.
Goof us and Gallant those
guys were cool. I've always
considered myself more of a
Goofus than a Gallant, I think
it has to do with the cartoons I
watch and the breakfast cereal
I shower with.
So I'm sitting there trying to
finish my connect-the-dots
game when the receptionist
starts yanking on my arm try
ing to get me into the deadly
chair. I tell her that her yank
ing isn't necessary and that
unless she wants me to con
nect her dots, she had best let
go of my arm. Well, my teeth
checked out fine and my ortho
dontist played his little 20
questions game, "How are you?
How's school? Have you been
wearing your retainer? Can
you spit into the cup like a big
boy?" Orthodontists can afford
to ask silly questions.
I left the quaint office frus
trated because the evil doctor
forgot to offer me gas. Some
times, when I'm a good little
patient the orthodontist hands
me a toy or a piece of sugar
less gum, but that day nothing.
I really didn't want anything
from him because I knew that
he added it onto the monthly
bill.
What I wanted most of all
was that magazine in the wait
ing room. I tried stealing it but
some seven-year-old bit my
hand and threw Legos at me.
Highlights was on my mind
for days after and I realized
that the Diversions section
needed a game page.
Games pages are fun and
don't take much thought to
read, a lot like my columns. So
let's play some games, shall
we?
Uncle Anion
Part I: Riddles
and Trivia
2. What's black and white and
red all over and can't fit in an
elevator?
3. What goes up but can 't come
down?
4. If XY and Y123, and
P3, then what is the name of
the bus driver?
'AX
Trivia
1. Name another word for
euphemism?
2. Which of the major food
groups is not found in a fresh
man's diet?
3. Is Vanna White married?
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