Thursday, October 23, 1986
Dal! Ncbrnskan
Page 11
WdDii'Gu: IF IL i nn c n 1 fla
Worst Shrine: The obelisk to god Bob and
blessed St. Tom outside the stadium. If you must
deify sports figures, at least have the decency to
wait until they're dead.
Worst Douncers: Pardncrs Lounge (5250
Cornhusker Highway In the Holiday Inn.) Get
comfy, folks, this is a long story.
Last summer six or seven of us went bar
hopping and ended up at Partners." Two of our
company happened to be under 21. So we sat
down and ordered. The minors (swear to God)
ordered pop. In a minute this drill-sergeant type
came over to card us. He was dressed like a
swinging cowboy and was wearing a little plaque
that said he was an ex- "employee of the month."
The minors gave him their real drivers licenses.
Birthdates in 1066 and 1968, big as life. "Sarge"
squints at the cards for a couple of minutes,
boots out the 20-year-old and hands the 18-year-old's
card back to him. Now, John Henry not only
used his real ID, but he looked about two years
younger than he actually was.
After Sarge left, needless to say, we were all
vastly amused, and our amusement attracted the
attention of a Muscle-Boy at the next table who
stood up, announced he was also Pardner's
security and re-carded all of us.
Muscle Boy took John's ID, squinted at it for a
couple minutes, then said he'd have to have it
"checked." Good idea. Everybody I know has a
fake ID that says they're 18. With John's ID in
hand, Muscle-Boy retired to another room,
presumably to take off his shoes so he could
count on his toes, too.
Pretty soon Muscle-Boy and Sarge both came
back and Sarge tells us we-all can jest get right
on outta there. "Pronto."
"Why?" we ask.
For tryin' to sneak minors in, of course.
Now we knew that Pardner's didn't have to let
minors in, even if they weren't drinking, and the
minors left without making a fuss. The rest of us
were P.O.'d. Nobody had been trying to "sneak"
anything. Of course, nobody seriously wanted to
hang out all night after they'd tossed out friends,
but we didn't like Sarge's attitude and we
weren't about to let him throw us out for nothing.
We tried to explain all this calmly and
reasonably, but Sarge was in no mood for calm
reason. So we asked to see the manager.
Sarge got this crafty look on his face and said
he'd take us to the manager. Sorry. Nice try, but
unh-uh. The manager can come see us here.
Now things get nasty. The dynamic duo
started threatening and swearing at us.
Muscle Boy: 'There are five or six of these boys
here who'd jest love to take you out into the
parking lot and kick your asses."
They also kept threatening us with an imaginary
policeman who purportedly patrols the halls of
the Holiday Inn.
By this time there were just two of us left. The
minors were long gone, and at the mention of the
word "police" the rest had evaporated, visions of
unpaid parking tickets dancing through their
heads.
All of this time we'd been sitting down.
Nobody on our side was yelling or making
threats. We just weren't going to leave until we'd
complained to the manager.
Nonethless, Sarge decided it was time to
swing into action. He slided around behind me
and yelled in his best "Starsky and Hutch" voice,
"I got this one, you get the other one!" And
suddenly we're both slapped into submission
holds.
I didn't resist. But Sarge got me in a hold tight
enough to bruise my throat for a week, and once
he got me out into the Holidome, forced me to my
knees, and put my head on the floor, told me he'd
better not see my ass 'round there no more, then
let me go.
Instead of just leaving, of course, we got
straight to the night manager, who was cool. He
told us we could come back, but he suggested we
go somewhere else for the rest of the evening.
Seeing that a small but surly crowd of half-lit
cowboys had taken an interest in the proceedings,
we agreed.
Needless to say, we haven't been back since.
If, in the interim, somebody at Pardners has got
smart and fired, retired or shot Sarge, then I
apologize for all of the proceeding.
WE CAN MAKE YOU
UGLY FOR AS
LITTLE AS $5.00.
A visit to a Goodwill store
can scare up some be
witching ideas for Hallo
ween. Putting together a
costume can cost as little
as five dollars.
Come in and look around,
we've got hats and wigs
for $1.22. Plain white sheets,
jewelry, shoes and access
ories for just over a dollar.
The selection is great--and
our prices won't scare you
to death.
Lincoln Goodwill. . .4 Convenient Locations
1717 "0" Street 6220 Havelock
2638 North 48th 210 Capital Blvd.
LniinM
On our rich basic sauce & spaghetti
Meal includes a trip
to our salad bar and
an order of garlic bread.
EDnmnniF
plus tax
228 North 12th Street
Discover
The Difference
Comet, sow, ncngn, uwm i t 1 I'
t JimjivJuJ
ATMAN
The
Darfi
Knight
Returns
(The Complete Story)
TRADE PAPERBACK $12.95
HARDBACK $19.95
HOURS:
11-9Mon.-Fri. 10-6 Sat.
12-5 Sun.
New Comics Every Thursday!
East Park PlazaStrip Center
200 N. 66th Suite 208A
467-2727
(Next To The Phone Center)
