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Wednesday, August 27, 1986
Some helpful hints
for the new kids
Be you short, tall, fat, skinny, city,
country, rich, poor, cute, ugly, sick or
healthy, you are still all, undeniably,
stupid freshmen.
This is a big week for you, so buckle
up, attend all those little classes, and
stay out of my way. I'm sorry if I'm being
condescending (that means being talked
down to), but it's just that you people
can't walk, ride a bike or drive a car,
and some of you are still learning that
crazy Social Security number. But as I
think about it, within just one short
year, you will have conquered the cam
pus, dominated the dorm, and vitalized
your virginity. Yes, you will have arrived.
One thing the frosh do have in their
corner is an unbiased opinion:
"Yeah, that freshmen article, did you
read that? Boy, did that suck!"
"That Anton guy, what a cheese
weenie." Well, don't be so hard on yourselves,
be proud that you've been accepted
into this university, this blessed insti
tution of greater knowledge, this
resource for the few, this opportunistic
vehicle for higher education, this,
this,. . . ah geez, there are kids in
Jarabub who have never even seen a
Husker game.
Craig
Anton
Daily Nebraskan
w
Playhouse shows start
By Kim E. Karloff
Staff Reporter
"In theater the bright spot is
always the next show," Rod McCul
lough, managing director of the
Lincoln Community Playhouse said.
And so, actors and acresses, prop
artists, stage managers and direc
tors, prepare for their first fall
production.
Proclaimed by McCullough as
"an exciting prospect" and "a show
a little different than the usual,"
"Portable Pioneer and Prairie
Show" will open the Playhouse's fall
season at 8 p.m. Sept. 11.
"Portable Pioneer and Prairie
Show" will run at 8 p.m. Sept. 11 to
13, 18 to 21 and 25 to 27. Matinees
will be performed at 2:30 p.m. Sept.
14 and 28.
The season continues with a pro
duction of "Bus Stop." Schedules
showings are at 8 p.m. Oct. 30 and
31, Nov. 1, 6 to 9 and 13 to 15.
Matinees are at 2:30 p.m. Nov. 2 and
16.
Not to be "outshuffled," "Octet
Bridge Club" will round out the Lin
coln Community Playhouse's pro
ductions for 1986. Show times for
"Octet Bridge Club" are at 8 p.m.
Dec. 4 to 6, 11 to 14 and 18 to 20.
Matinees will be performed at 2:30
p.m. Dec. 7 and 21.
For tickets and more informa
tion, contact the Lincoln Commun
ity Playhouse, 2500 S. 56th St., Lin
coln, Nebr. 68506, or call 489-9608.
-"" " ,
L TT
Sure there are some of you that have
chosen to live that razor's-edge lifestyle
among the brotherhood or sisterhood of
Sure, you'll
have a fun time attending functions
and meeting people of the same finan
cial background, not to mention that
living hell called "hazing." You thought
that only happened in the movies.
Hooray for those that decided not to
rush or pledge or donate blood! Hooray
for those that have already skipped
classes! Hooray for those that have
smoked major doobage, done lethal
amounts of cheap beer, ordered Domi
no's after 1 a.m. and then vomited on
your roommate's book bag! Hooray for
those that have the mentality of peat
moss and now serve food! Hooray for all
you virgins! Hooray for all you non
virgins! And hooray for all of you nym
phomaniacs that will need rides home
from my whacky parties.
Good luck to all you freshmen ath
letes. Be very careful, watch your health
and listen to the coaches. They do look
out for your best interests, just ask
Brian Washington.
And, hey, what about you sopho
mores, juniors, seniors and grad stu
dents? Well, have some fun this week
with the young frosh. Give them a spot
quiz on campus: "Where is the Animal
Research Facility and how long would
it take to get there if a train is traveling
from New York at 60 mph?"
Finally, here are a few tips for you
freshmen: Don't use the revolving doors
at the Union, use the side or the R
Street entrances. Don't rush it, take
your time, work up to the revolving
door, watch some of the other students,
get the rhythm of the door and then be
sure to give the traditional voice signal,
"Debra Winger!" People will then
acknowledge you and step to the side.
Gags you can play as freshmen: Put a
disgusting book into your study partner's
book bag while in Love Library; make
sure he doesn't see you, though! Put
shaving cream on the earpiece of your
phone, then sneak down the hall and
call your roommate. Start a food fight
at home over Thanksgiving. Get your SA
pregnant or, better yet, get your SA's
girlfriend pregnant this one is
always funny.
I could go on and on, but there are
some things that you just have to learn
by yourself. Don't forget Mom and Dad,
though. Make 'em happy and proud,
and always ask them for large amounts
of money. Don't forget to wear clean
underwear, brush those little teeth
after meals, and be courteous to those
around you flush when you're done.
LIFE IS A BEACH.
SO FLOAT INTO
SANDY'S
FOR YOUR "SUDS" BREAK.
Specials Nightly!
HAPPY HOUR: 4-6 PM Everyday
Thursdays:
Can Beer & Margaritas 7 5
OPEN-Sundays 6-1 1 PM
mtt HvitMjy Hit! ifftip
1) 475-2418
122 No. 11th
If you're going to drop one
course, and want to pick up
another . . .
. . . UNL independent study can help. Over 70 UNL
courses available. Take up to a year to finish the course.
Call 472-1926 for information, or visit room 269, Ne
braska Center for Continuing Education, 33rd and
Holdrege. Take the shuttle bus from city campus.
UNL is a non-discriminatory institution
500M'fc
Campus
a
1
sign up now
for Isagues
at ths
East Union North
40
UNL Bowling Team Tryouts
(Men and Women)
Sept6&7
Sign up at
East Union Lanes
WELCOME BACK
SPECIAL
50c Open Bowling
All Day,
Any Day
Aug. 25-Sept 14
"LEAGUE "STARTING DATE & TIME
Husker .Monday, Sept. 15, 6:00 pm
Pin Pounders Monday, Sept. 15, 8:00 p.m.
Classic Big-8 Tuesday, Sept. 16,7:00 p.m.
Nite Owls Wednesday, Sept. 17, 7:30 p.m.
Collegiate Thursday, Sept. 18, 5:30 p.m.
5050 Mixed . . . .Thursday, Sept. 18, 7:30 p.m.
c
f
Students, Faculty, Staff & Friends are eligible. Each league
consists of 6 teams - 4 persons per team. Teams and in
dividuals must preregister and pick up a copy of league rules
at the North 40 desk. For more information, contact Ray at
472-1776 or the North 40 desk at 472-1751.
FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE, SO SIGN UP NOW!!!!!
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