Page 10
Daily Nebraskan
Thursday, November 14, 1985
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Enjoy the simple pleasures
Crusty homemade Italian bread
Delicious homemade desserts
JJPLJ . Fine wines and cocktails
T F Ar?J IT") F or 'unc'1, se'ect rom our unique array
ULU. VvJ U iJjO o pasta entrees, salads or sandwiches.
10th & "O" Street For diflT,Ief:S!Z
' O-J O 7 another dinner special.
Lunch: Tuesday-Friday 11:302:00 pm
Dinner: Thursday-Saturday 5:30-10:00 pm
Columnist proposes solutions
to some entertaining problems
n
P3
Campus Clubs
Organizations
Office Groups
Dorm Floors
Fraternities
Sororities
If 3 or more members of
a group come in they
each receive
KADLinzyjT-DEiiCn
488-4832
4003 "P' St
all members need not come
in together.
field of entertainment require imme- We don't want to see Marie Osmond
diate solutions? served raspberry sherbet when she
First of all, "TVs Bloopers and Prac- really ordered orange. That's not funny
tical Jokes." This show has a great and not very embarrassing,
premise. People consistently screw up, jjow about tnis for a starter; Dick
and when they do there should be a and Ed pjace 20-pound bags of cocaine
camera close by. I know when I fall jn Stacy Reach's luggage. As he gets off
down, drool or accidentally expose the plane in Los Angeles, 35 officers
myself, I love to have 10,000 Watt Rlceg from iylce encircle him, drop to their
lights on me and the NBC television knees and puu their guns. Reach is
crew gathered around. dumbfounded, his mouth is agape.
Aside from the show's emcm, haye done? he whines
everyone s favorite roly -poly court bul-
n utt mi re i ii t ? i .
Of course, problems like war, fam- foon, Ed McMahon ana wick "i wwe ine vice onicers unDucKie nis lug-
ine, Angst, anomie and fast plastic pod Led Zeppelin" Clark, there is a more gage and bag after bag of coke spill
food are so large and far-reaching that pressing problem: The celebrity prac- onto the airport carpet. It's a chilling
there's not much point in worrying tical jokes. scene, full of fear, pathos and a belly
about solutions. Sure it's OR to catch some weather laugh or two. The greatest part about
This is the entertainment section woman from a station in San Palamino, this joke is that it's only just beginning
and things like God, death, being, life Newfoundland, eating meatloaf on the when Dick and Ed tell Stacy he's on
and war have no place here. You may air, but when big stars bite it, every- "ivs Bloopers ana r radical JOKes.
From time to time in my column I
like to stop complaining about prob
lems and actually make a conscious
attempt to solve them.
lf J TC.harles
Lieurance
well ask, what burning problems in the body wants to see them bite it big.
ft 2550 'O: Strtat
Lincoln, 1466510 I
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This is when Reach gets to have
some fun of his own, bouncing camer
amen down the moving sidewalks,
feeding matching Samsonite Silhouette
luggage to Ed McMahon, putting Dick
Clark in a garmet bag and strapping
him to the wing of a 747. This is what
this show needs. It's what TV needs. No
problem.
Solution 2: Falling in love is enter
taining, but only for the delightful cou
ple involved. I suggest "Love Camps."
For anyone who has ever fallen
"head over heels" in the middle of a
semester, you know it can be academic
suicide. You're up late cooing, billing
and saying things like, "No, I really love
that mole right where it is." Class is out
of the question because you have to
order roses, buy candles and brush your
teeth a lot.
If we had "Love Camps" you could be
shipped away to someplace in Ontario
where your fondling wouldn't interfere
with the enjoyment most people find in
misery, loneliness and self-mutilation.
At camp, you can fawn over one another
on park bench, bus terminal, classroom
and senate hearing room mock-ups
with life-like mannequins gathered
around to make you feel oh, so con
spicuous. WTien you return from the "Love
Camp" you can re-enter society, your
job, school, etc. at exactly the point you
left. No flunked classes, no irate
employers, no angry wives or fed-up
friends. No problem.
Solution 3: For obvious reasons I
didn't want to call this the final solu
tion, but it is, at least for now.
This is the solution to the Lied Cen
ter and Wick building problems at
UNL What you do is raze the entire
university campus every summer and
rebuild it entirely for the fall semester.
Aside from the obvious entertain
ment it gives a graduating class to
watch their favorite buildings reduced
to rubble, it also sends Lincoln into
economic seventh heaven. Imagine the
construction companies you could con
tract to rebuild this beast every summer.
The regents could sign contracts for all
kinds of unfeasible amounts of money.
You know how happy that makes them
and this allows architects to make mis
takes like the beautiful Wick build
ing's windows that face the ugly brick
wall of the Historical Society Museum.
When they foul up like that, you call
NBC's "Bloopers and Practical Jokes"
and then blow things up and start
again.
Please see PROBLEMS on 1 1
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I5atj 123 - , H Sines 1373
VARIETY IN FOOD
Lunch
C:C3 am ta 4:03 pm
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CHEESE BURGER AND
CURLY Q FRIES
$1
Today Only
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