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Daily Nebraskan
Wednesday, September 4, 1935
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SUN senators will try to keep afloat a watered-down
anti-discrimination bill at tonight's meeting.
But the proposal is a farce because it fails to
protect all minorities.
The original plan defined discrimination as "defy
ing individuals membership or appointment on the basis of
physical or cultural characteristics, where such characteris
tics include but are not limited to age, race, color, gender,
creed, sexual orientation or place of residence."
That proposal was vetoed last spring by ASUN President
Gerard Keating, who opposed the sexual orientation clause.
Last week, senators failed to override Heating's veto, saying
sexual orientation is "personal business" and does not need to
be in the bill. They also cited a lack of campus support and a
similar city bill, which was rejected by 90 percent of Lincoln
voters.
Keating said he vetoed the bill because the sexual orienta
tion clause is too specific and could not be enforced because
sexual orientation is intangible and cannot be seen.
But sexual orientation is no more intangible than a creed,
which also cannot be seen.
The specifics argument also has flaws. When a group of
people is discriminated against, no clause is too specific. But
left-handers or blue-eyed students would not need to be
included, because they rarely are discriminated against.
Keating also said that only about 12 of the 2,200 U.S.
colleges and universities include sexual orientation in their
anti-discrimination bylaws.
But passing the landmark anti-discrimination bill, UNL
could have become a leader in students rights. Instead, stu
dent government leaders chose to follow.
Currently, the groups set up their own membership criteria,
excluding race and color. The legislation was passed in 1968.
Rodney Bell, secretary of the UNL GayLesbian Student
Association, said he knew of no acts of discrimination toward
gays in UNL student groups. But the GLSA hoped to counteract
the ASUN veto by gaining support from the National Organiza
tion for Women, Nebraska Young Democrats and the Nebraska
State Students Association.
ASUN senators must revise their student group non
discrimination policy to protect all students not just
heterosexuals.
If ASUN cannot draft a policy for all students, it should ask
the equal opportunity organizations for help.
Student government leaders took an oath to represent all
students, not just those with similar sexual preferences.
The Daily Nebraskan
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ALL MATERIAL COPYRIGHT 1985 DAILY NEBRASKAN
Asp
Serial etxips su
It goes almost without saying that
the most significant literary genre
since the development of the Near
East suzerainty treaty-covenant form is
the serial comic strip.
Sadly, the unique difficulty with this
imposing apogee of Western culture is
that the strips must be followed for
some period of time before the stories
make any sense. This difficulty is mag
nified for students, for even if the strips
were followed during the last school
year, summer sloth and local absence
has destroyed the continuity required
for involvement with serial comics.
To facilitate the reintegration of this
most important experience into the
common university student's padeia, I
posit the following offering as a public
service to the pursuit of truth.
What the Code of Hammurabi is to
suzerainty treaty forms, Bloom County
is to the serial comic strip. Earlier this
summer, Oliver, the budding Bloom
County scientist, determined to take a
substantive step to end apartheid in
South Africa and consequently deve
loped a sort of ray gun that turns light
skinned people dark-skinned. Cutter
John was commissioned to balloon to
Washington, D.C., and use the ray gun
on the South African ambassador to the
United States.
During the launch, Opus, the tuba
player and penguin, accidently was
sent off along with the balloon. The two
were lost somewhere over the Atlantic
Ocean and presumed eaten by wal
ruses. Opus' will consequently was
probated with Bill the Cat who then
was convalescing at the Betty Ford
Celebrity Alcohol and Drug Rehabilita
tion Center. Bill inherited the substan
tive portion of Opus' estate. Milo Bloom
retrieved Bill the Cat from the clinic,
but while celebrating, Bill began
associating with Jeane Kirkpatrick and
nary a word of him has been since
heard.
In the meantime, Opus has returned,
but with amnesia; he currently is reac
quainting himself with his previous
lifestyle. (Incidentally, Bloom County
is the only comic strip currently being
regularly published in the Daily
Nebraskan.)
Jim
Rogers
In the strip "The Amazing Spider
man," Peter Parker has gotten involved
with a news reporter named Jenny who
has a daughter who is quite afraid of
Spiderman, attending a day care center
under the management of a fat guy
named Uncle Ralph (or something like
that). The strong intimation of the
strip is that Jenny's daughter is being
molested by someone at Uncle Ralph's
establishment. The expose' is taking a
painfully long time.
Mary Worth has returned to New
York to resolve some difficulties with
an apartment complex that she owns
there. While visiting, she discovered
that Jenny Troon, the granddaughter of
the now-retired nightwatchman, had
gotten access to a supposedly vacated
apartment. However, Mary was rather
forgiving since Jenny redecorated the
apartment and apparently did so rather
well. But the point of interest in the
story is Jenny's addiction to horoscopes,
her attendance at some sort of bizarre
nearby school and an upcoming date
summer
with a man she met via the school's
bulletin board. In usual style, Mary
Worth is butting her nose into the
entire mess.
Rip Kirby recently attempted to cap
ture the Mangier, who was preying
upon sea-going drug smugglers (because
they would obviously not complain to
the police). However, after confining
the Mangier and his crew to his own
boat's brig, the Mangier managed to
escape while Rip Kirby's boat crashed
on a reef surrounding an uninhabited
island.
While the Mangier sailed to Fort
Diablo in search of weapons with which
to finish off Rip and his crew, the Kirby
clan built a raft, set sail and are now
engaged in a desparate attempt to
reach land before being run down by
the Mangier.
Finally, in the strip "The Heart of
Juliet Jones," the Princess van Losha
zen has taken quite a liking to Owen
Cantrell (Julie's husband) and has the
intention of making him her sixth hus
band. When Eve Jones, Julie's younger
sister, was visiting the princess in
order to talk her out of her fiendish
desire, her butler surreptitiously planted
a piece of jewelry in her coat and then
the princess accused Eve of thievery
after she had left the premises. The
princess' offer is to drop the charges
against Eve in exchange for Julie's
divorce from Owen.
In the meantime, Julie hired a pri
vate detective who discovered that the
princess was married five times but
only divorced four times, thus making
her a bigamist. Owen currently is mak
ing his way over to confront the prin
cess with the damaging evidence.
Rogers Is a UNL economics
graduate student and law student
Tiny Yugo has potential as road kill
In the days when I was earning $50 a
week and counting pennies, I
decided that buying a tiny economy
car that gave 30 miles to the gallon
would be a smart move.
But I got myself an early, used Bee
tle. It was such a basic piece of
machinery that it didn't even have a
fuel gauge. You knew you were running
low on gas when the tank was empty
and the engine sputtered. Then you
kicked a lever on the floor that opened
a tiny spare tank that would get you to
a gas station.
Many of my friends told me I was
nuts. They said I might be squashed
like a bug by big cars.
Then I made a trip to eastern Ohio.
Somewhere near Akron, the hills began
appearing.
I noticed something strange hap
pening. Going uphill, I had the gas
pedal almost to the floor. But I was
creeping along so slowly that even big
trucks were passing me.
Cars were swerving around me and
people were leaning out the window
and yelling: "Are you crazy? ... Pull
over, you lousy ... You want to get
killed?"
LA
Cm
Mike
Royko
I made a vow that I would never
again be so un-American as to drive a
car that didn't have a powerful engine.
I have kept to that vow. During the
great fuel scares, I refused to be stam
peded into buying something small and
practical.
So I'm waiting with dread for the
arrival on the highways of something
called Yugo.
This is a tiny car from Yugoslavia
that, at $3,990, is going to be the
lowest-priced new car in the United
States.-
Dealers already are writing stacks of
orders from frugal people eager to drive
something that's not much bigger than
a kitchen appliance.
They will be a menace and should be
banned by law from being driven any
where but in the backyard or at amuse
ment parks.
But they won't be. So I'm serving
warning on all future Yugo drivers now.
Stay out of the way of me and my cur
rent gas guzzler.
If you don't, I'll just pull off at the
next exit, go to the nearest car wash,
and have them brush you off my gnll.
1985 by the Chicago Tribune
Eoyko is a Pulit zer Prize-winning colum
nist for the Chicago Tribune.