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Thursday, February 21, 1S35 I
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Daily Nebraskan
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resident Reagan has appointed an environmental Protection
Asency chief who was decidedly pro-industry, an Interior
JL secretory who was undoubtedly anti-environmentalist, and
now, En eduction secretary who is sounding anti-education.
The secretary, William Bennett, confirmed the worst fears cf
educators and students at his first press coherence. Optimists
hoped that Bennett, with a strong humanities background, would
continue the policies cf Tend Bell champion cf higher educa
tion, who said the colleges cf America are in a slate cf disarray and
need to make improvements. Improvements cost money.
President Reagan has proposed cuts in student finsnciaJ aid
and a lid on guaranteed student loans. Those cuts would result in
declining enrollment, which would result in declining cash flow,
which makes needed improvements much more difficult to make.
Bennett said students might have to make "divestitures cf
certain sorts like stereo divestiture, an automobile divestiture
or a three-weeks-at-the-beach divestiture." A quick glance at the
chart below will tell you few students will be making such
"divestitures." "Education divestitures" are more likely for those
who will be denied some or all financial aid.
Sen. Robert T. Stafford, a Vermont Republican, said he would
not have voted for Bennett's confirmation had he known the
secretary would support such cuts.
"The secretary's comments show contempt for students as well
as parents and suggest a complete misunderstanding of the
financial realities faced by low- and middle-income families
today," Stafford said in the Feb. 20 Chronicle of Higher Education.
Eennett showed that he is either contemptuous of accessible
higher education as an American tradition or that he has no
backbone and is acting out of support for Reagan.
The proposed cuts would prohibit any student from receiving
more than $4,000 in financial aid in one year, cut loans to students
with family incomes in excess of $32,500 and limit Pell Grants,
College Work-Study and National Direct Student Loans to only
those students with family incomes of $25,000 or less. .
A few students may use their loans for stereos and cars,
most just want an education. Reagan's cuts will leave many
students in the lurch. A family with several children gets no
special consideration. A student whose family simply won't pay for
education won't get special treatment either.
Bennett's comments are depressing. He even said if his son
asked him for the $50,000 promised for tuition to start a business,
he might let him start in business. He degrades the value of
education. His predecessor said the value of education was still
great, but needed improvement including a lower student-to-faculty
ratio and greater concentration on liberal arts. With
Bennett at the helm, those suggestions are a long way from reality.
Student Aid Recipients
by Family Income
2S
18
13
20
Guarentaed
Loans1
Pell
Grants
Work-Study'
SEOG
NDSL
1.
2.
4.
5.
Over $30,000 E3 Under $30,000
Porcentsgos of ell students wfto received Guaranteed Loans In fiscal 1972.
Percentages of nil students who received Pell Grants in ?iscal 1523.
Percentages of dependant undergraduate students wfco receive aid under
the College Work-Study program h fiscal 1833.
Percentages of dependent unJargrduate who received Supplemental
Educational Opportunity Grants In fiscal 1833.
Percentages of dependant undurgraduetes who received National Direct
Student Loans if. fiscal 1983.
SOURCE: WASHINGTON OFFICE. THE COLLEGE BOARD
'1
Li
EDITOR
GENERAL MANAGER
PRODUCTION MANAGER
ADVERTISING MANAGER
Chris Wetsch, 472-1 7S3
Tern L'Yrr.
The Daily Nebraskan (USPS 144-CSO) Is published by the
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and spring semesters and Tuesdays end Fridays in tha
summer sessions, except during vacations.
Readers are encouraged to submit story Ideas and com
ments to the Ds!!y Nebraskan ty phoning 472-1 7S3 fcstwsan 9
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Postmaster: Ssnd address changes to the Daily Nebraskan,
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Second class pestaqs paid at Lincoln, NE 3510.
ALL MATERIAL COPYRIGHT KZ3 DAILY EZZXAZKAU
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ecMiiiinniiMsiL
Article claims people die of excessive worrying
ecently I read an article in the
National Enquirer lamenting the
passing of Gertrude Holmsteadt. The
article claimed she was the third person to
die of excessive worrying in the past two
months.
"Yellow journalism," I muttered as I let
the magazine fall to the coffee table with a
plop, narrowly missing my coffee cup.
James A.
Vy Fussell
Tired cf the article I leaned hack and
enjoyed the mixing smells of steaming
coffee md fresh newsprint. Relaxed, I
folded my hszads behind my he&d, managing
to succeed where the magazine had failed.
The scalding Mack liquid flooded my oval
wscden coffee table that was nowmore
thsn excr, Cwsrar.g of its name. The
earthe!wara ms$ sp un sroond sr.d.sround,
until I Est it Kprig&t in the pool of coffee.
j
:lf. I wasn't oilina You
kr.c? po'n r.d ImlKg a good d: when
you crises purssif in ycur spHkd csfTee.
Swetrirci finder r.y trcith, I nit
stiaMlni ir,io thg kitchen for a pspcr
tcwd, whsrt I sisdderJy smeitteed the
headlka cf tha srikls thst I hid recently
WoMsd ebost my harried stete, I
slowed to a brisk walk sad returned with
en armload cfpsper towds and commenced
sopping up the coffee, I used the best
ssller cf course, New and Improved Viva.
Seven Viva's later, the coffee had won and
seven soggy lumps lay utterly defeated on
my coffee table. Paper sponge my Aunt
Determined net to worry about it, I left
the mess as it lay. The magazine was a
minor casualty, suffering assorted coffee
hits on pages one through three. The
wonying artkla, however, was on page five
and Bergd unscathed. I turned to it,
and, . God help me, started reading again.
You know, out cf curiosity.
I popped a piece of Doublemint gum .
into my mouth and began to chew. I
chewed faster as I read further. I made
myself promise I would never read another
gossip magazine again . . . right after I
finished this one.
I finished the Erticle and looked back at
the picture. There she was again, Gertrude
Holmsteadt, still dead. Four internat
ionally acclaimed experts told the En
quirer that she had simply worried herself
to death.
This worried me because I'm a worrier.
More than a little uncomfortable, I wrig
gled around until I was lying lengthwise
on the couch. I spit my gum onto the
growing heap of soggy garbage realizing I
never liked Doublemint gum in the first
place.
I thought about the experts who said
worriers often die of heart attacks in their
sleep. Uh-oh. I was a little sleepy, and
come to think of it, wasn't that a dull ache
I was feeling under my left shoulder? I
called my doctor. He said "Don't worry." I
said, "Thanks a lot, I got tk&t much &cm
the Enquirer." I was worried. .
The article had stated that each cf the
three people who had died mysteriously of
midnight heart attacks had worried a
didi before their deaths. TKL -rsrrfsd
me a grsst deal
CareslE3 7 chest, I decided to
. chsnnel my thoughts in a different dir
ection. My mind jumped c:n one subject
to another, secrcMr for an acceptable
topic. Starving AMcsss? No. Unemploy
ment? No. Nudesr prdlfsntbn? No, no,
no. I Mi Eke a radio trying to tune in seise
mindless music when all there wss was
news. Ead news. News to worry about.
I had to do something to tske my mind
eff things. I settled on critically viewing
my nails. But soon I begin to worry about
whether they were too long. Bango, the
multiplier effect. I worried about my nails,
I worried about the pain in my chest, I
worried about worrying, and I worried
about dying. I tried not to worry, but it had
the opposite effect. It's like trying to prcve
to someone that you're not insane; the
harder you try, the more insane you lock.
Finally, I decided to do something
constructive and clip my nails. Producing
a silver clipper from my blue jetn pocket, I
clipped one, bit tiro, clipped c.-.3, bit
three, and discovered one on the third
finger of my right hand that was already
half the way cff. Care-fully, I ripped it cZ
Of course ii ripped dawn, into the cuticle,
instead of ripping straight across, and for
the better part of five seconds I screamed
more than a groupie at a Eeatle's reunion.
Disgusted, hurt, and worried I resigned
myself to getting some sleep. I fell asleep
for 15 or 20 minutes and dreamed that I
was dead. I lay stiff and prostrate on my
couch, which functioned as my night
marish casket.
There I was, dead of worry, the
cover story of February's National Enquirer,
lying quietly next to Gertrude Holmsteadt.
It was all so real. I exhibited ail the
qualities of people who had been dead for
years: I was dead, gone, deceased, cola
and expired; I had passed on, gone to see
my maker, kicked the bucket and croaked;
I had been through rigor mortis, embal
ment and was slowly rotting away under
deserts of pancake makeup.
Coldly, I tssessad all my attributes, as if
looking down at myself from above. I was
dead ail rigfct. The last remnants of my
moustache had been all bat plucked from
my face. 1 smeiSed horribly cf formaldehyde
masked by too much sweet-smelling after
shave. I wss so pale. ..
I looked uncomfortable. I wore a black
suit and a riitatedy forced smile that
stretched firara dimple to dimple, made for
. me by a simple isschtoe after I died. I was
cried vm, fteed ever, knelt over and
prayed, prtysd, prayed ever. I was era
bslmed, powdsred, fixed, straightened,
dressed, prssssd and wheeled out like so
many tUspitp that people psy half a buck
to plk at in stste Mm.
WaSti&g with a start, I twitched
my he?d upwards with a twisting motion, I
relaxed and sighed fceslly, resting on my
hods. My mossih reeked cf the stale smell j
of old Doublemint gum even though I no I
longer bald it in my mouth. I spotted it on
top f the garbage hesp along with thej
Vkron nfi. onA -In a that h&U
etvrtttA ell ?f tht In th flmt n!ae.
t Ii I At a i a . ii . r vtTOC I
i mi setter, as tessi ir.e wsuyim ww
magssine asaln, as fong as I stayed away
from page five. I poured mere coffee ana
was fading pretty silly about the whole j
Ifrm tijwlifl tn n?? ?!ht. I foiUld 8IIJ
articb about ceffee ana its euect on,
mental stability. It wad more than I could
take. I crowned the garbage hesp with the j
rest of the magazine, poured my coffee
ever the tcp f the entire thing and,
plunged my head- back into the couch,
cushion, preferring to resume my dream.
A I,,- n .1 I
Eaad a gossip magazine? I'd rather be-
1
