Page 8 The Sower November 1984 j II wwp Jfil Mil ; t&Wi. V &JU i l fif 1 What Ve Leave Behind Xlf4 ! J I.:,. C. ,dr.,ir$S5 j !i . j I Winter pushes into my room. I waken o i E5SEFi 'Uh ! And walk to the porch. Windows rattle Or I ff kv 1 j cXnI cD Hi i Veins of dark wood. s k4 .(. : Mi ocS& w-'''?A(5lf& ' 1 I hold the windows still, watch the trees M,iV; ' I'' : ! I ! Struggle in the cold. Winter mists ' '" ' . 1? ' Mh j From my mouth. Invisible fire. ? , ,' J; !Pra;;X ' ISO 1 Cold flattens asalnst our cheeks, faces us. N 1 3i 5icas3 me wsrmui irom me Rouieis 1 'at-tra'Ti rT1"11-.- -u--f I, ffpgg ygrrar rj.itt-' .n.w i m" igij I. if . n x 1 ' U yf wusi '.- 7 Cold flattens agilnst our cheeks, faces us, Steals the warmth from the goblets Cupped in our hands. The sun cannot Sink Lnto the tops of our shoulders We do not walk the field from end to end. A name you hear makes you shiver; TTie pages I am writing mark my days. When I place my hand upon the glass, The print released is no longer mine. I do not want to be alone. Without amber. Without the steam rising on a city street Back in my room is a whirlpool of light I leave thumbprint and palm, and the porch Becomes ruins behind me. Omaz Abi&sder .v'. Lit lilt Th e So wer On a Sumnser Night The fireflies floated i2p from the grass. At the top of the yard, they signalled to me. I swipe one from the air and peeked through the cracks of my fingers to watch its flicker. I must spend each night alone with my morrors around me: books, photographs, pillows and an open space. I do not trust myself in sleep; I will not drop off into the leisure of a dream. I am the keeper of this night and its silences. We lay in the yard and watch the bats swoop and scream. I could not believe their blindness as they dove and punched at the stars. I held my breathing so they would not hear me. Sometimes I sit at this wondow for hours with a candle behind me in the room. No bats pass through this sky. It has no real darkness. And when I see a star, I watch it disappear through my fingers. .1 -f . )... si A Ki. Abinader The Sower staff edit and produce this magazine, in addition to their individual contributions. Writers Mona Z. Koppelman Judi Nygren Ann Lowe Ward W. Tripiett III Suzanne Teten Jeff Browne Photographers Joel Sartore David Creamer Mark Davis Typesetting Katharine Policky The Sower magazine is published by the UNL Publica tions Board once each month, fall semester 1984. Daily Nebraskan Nebraska Union 34, 1400 R Street Lincoln, Neb. 68588-0448 (402) 472-2588 Learning About Cottonwoods Where the Pawnee eats away at the bank, a voice calls from the back of the canoe. Carp sputter in lines across the darkening lake. Seagulls somewhere drele and screech. I pull the rope thrown to me. Mud shifts and gives way to water, soaking my shoes. Motors buzz beyond us. The wind is low enough, he tells me. I follow and lift my f jet high above the wet grass. Mosquitos whir. Over there, he show me. I see the cottonwood and its swirling leaves, imprecise and flirtatious. Closer, I hear small children whisper, twenty or thirty. I listen again. His hand is wet and strong. Efcs22 Abinader Darlene Perry used to pray for ants who were accidentally stepped on. She held funerals for them hoping no revenge would be planned by the black crowd of comrades in the sidewalk crack Often they would come, to carry off their dead. Yet Darlene would make her small mound in honor, bearing a twig cross. Darlene's mother lent her a black book for eulogies. I would have no graves in my yard. I even caught fireflies in jars and sometimes never let them go. There was blasphemy in praying for ants. Hieir tiny bubble-bodies scavenged every crumb before them. I tried to make my at eat them, in front of Darlene but he wouldn't So I ran them over with my bike and felt no bumps unaer my wneeis. 4 wmi '4M 7 1k (: