Wednesday, August 22, 1234
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HEWLETT
Packard
7 "cbSo EEB't
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CC9-S43-3311
In NV call (702) 568-5654
beptsoo, P.O. BOX 6689
Stateline. NV 89449
CAR.1PU3 REPO
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In PA call (717) 327-9075
Dspisoo, 477 E Third Street
Williamsport. PA 17701
fJEEOEO
if you qualify Tor a Campus
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--r?i (-s
By Gsns Visesi
AstTOitQgist a$ lajff
Your Birthday today You
are one year elder than you
used tc ' . This may be good
or bad, depending on how old
you used to be, or are, or
might be, but you're only as
old as you feel, but now you
feel older than you used to be
. . . Anyway, it's all relative,
Time, that is. And gravity too,
for that matter. .
Vertigo, August 22-Sep-tember
22: Your life reaches
dizzying new heights, but you
feel sick about it. Your love
life peaks, but dont open your
eyes you may get nauseous.
liver, September 23-Octo-ber
22: You're too much of a
party animal. Firewater has
entered the house of Depres
sion beware of the Porce
lain God. Cancerous could
figure prominently.
Scorpion, October 23-No-veaber
22: Your social life is
a desert. Things look very
bleak, and could get worse.
Lay low during the day, make
your move at night. Keep alert,
you can't afford to let one
opportunity for a sting escape.
. S&d-aad-DeIirls, No-vess&ber23-December
21: Your
mate will leave you, your pet
iackto school ballad
By Chris Bmbach
For everything, there is a sea
son. For every season, there is a
song. Here are a couple for fall
Sung to the tune of Try to
w
iiinior
Remember."
"Do you rcir.err.bcr this time
last September,
When textbooks were calling,
Your grades quickly falling?
Try to remember,
That hellish September,
will die, you loss all your under
wesr,you fpnk 11 your classes,
you stub your toe, you're slimed
by a ghost, and your parents
move and leave no forward
ing address. But there's hope.
CerIy Cera, December 2
Jgassry 12: Things look sweet
for you. Don't force yourself
on others, though too much
of you is more than anyone
can handle. People say you're
a sap, and your buds are jeal
ous of your sweet tooth, but
you know better. You're color
ful and tasteful. For you suc
cess comes easy like taking
candy from a baby.
,. AimimM,JiiKffiry20-Feb-mmy
IS: Something fishy's
going on in your life. You
appear to have lots of options,
but be very careful which ones
you bite on a mistake could
be fatal. A member of the
opposite sex could get their
hooks in you. But be choosy,
there's plenty of fish in the
sea.
Hides, Fetemiy lS-March
20: Someone has set a trap
for you, so don't walk into
things blindly. Fight shy of
farmers' wives; they're dan
gerous. When trouble comes,
you may do best to crawl in a
hole. .
. AMtad, Mxdi 21-Aniil
And swallow,
Whyd you come back here,
To anxiety and fear,
To sweat and frustration,
Mental molestation?
Try to remember,
Your grey matter schkg,
Your writing hand breaking,
And escape."
Sung to the tune of "I cmft
Hslp Falling in Love With You."
. "Wise men say
Only fools go to school,
' But I cant help it,
Pve got nothing else to do.
Like a three-toed sloth,
Hanging in a tree,
Watching life go by, .
That's thaway I was meant to
be.
2: Dont bother to listen in
class. You need a clue, but
will never find one. To find
your stars, look inward all
of space is in your head. Intel
ligence knocks at the door,
but nobody's home.
Bsrs-ns, April 21-IIsy 20:
Yawn . . .You may make a
mint aa a personal insomnia
consultant, if your patients
ever wake up to pay you. At
parties your best line is no
line, keep your mouth shut.
Geia-fci-cye, Elsy 21-Jraae
20: You may finally get that
rock you've been looking for.
Diamonds are your best and
only friend don't compro
mise. When he or she pro
poses, ask to see some carats
first.
Cscerm, Jmaa 21Jc!y
20: Your personality is infec
tious, you become attached
to Liver. You'll confront life
and death decisions. Reject
the advances of scientists,
they're out to get you.
Eii, Jcls 21-Aiisist 21:
Forget school. Travel is your
future pack your bags and
take a long tropical vacation.
Give yourself and your friends
a br eak, get out of town and
take Bore-us with you. You're
headed for a jungle, but don't
be afraid. You belong there.
scoring tears
So take my dough,
Take my time, my love, my
youth,
For I cant stop
Until I find the truth."
jj-.lt all;-addo upl
Ieo3ls money,
n 'o a good
: start .
3 in a pool
can roaSlv
park SMART .