Pago 4
Daily Nebraskan
Wednesday, March 21, 1934
DOMT WORRY ABOUT
THAT Lit FISHY HE WOw't Sp
Money no object in -Meese
miancial plan
BITE... UNTIL HE GETS BIGGER.
TT1 1 1 o r1 . o r
xjL W M Nil
AT E XVT
OP A UlTTUT kC4M SHARK.
My friend Rachelle Marshall is a
strong supporter of Edwin Meese III
for attorney general and I am, too.
No one riiis done more for creative
financial planning" than Meese. lie
has, as it were, shown the way.
Arthur
OOpjp2
Slim jpMiin's 'iimm tke'fieM.
of BesaccFatac. eaBdIMateo
Pity the Democrats.
They are in the midst of a race for
the presidential nomination that
could go down to the final primaries or
even the convention. In theory, such a
race should be good for the party and
the country, but in reality, the whole
nation would come out a loser if either
of the two major Democratic candi
dates Colorado Sen..Gary Hart and
former Vice President Walter Mondale
were elected the next president of
the United States.
Hart has been tabbed the front
runner by the media, despite Mon
day's sizable lead in delegates. He has
built his campaign on being youthful
and being the leader of the new gener
ation. In television commercials that
ran in Illinois prior to that state's
primary Tuesday, Hart called himself a
westerner who would bring new ideas
and new policies to the White House.
That campaign tactic has worked.
Hart's popularity has surged in recent
public opinion polls. USA Today report
ed Monday that, for the first time, Hart
leads President Reagan in a head-to-head
race, 44 percent to 41 percent.
But Hart's bandwagon can't last for
ever. Ask anyone interested in the
election about him and they can tell
you that he is campaigning as the pres
ident of the future. Ask anyone what
his policy stands are, however, and few
people could answer.
If Hart becomes the Democratic nom
inee, the voters are likely to start ask
ing him for specifics. If he can't provide
them, he could find himself in big
trouble.
Meanwhile, Walter Mondale has at
tacked Hart for not taking a stand on
the issues and has claimed that, in
fact, he is the man with new solutions
to our problems.
Hardly. He offers nothing more than
a return to the instability of the Carter
administration and to the old Demo
cratic policies of high taxes and runa
way spending. '
Mondale has campaigned much like
Jimmy Carter did in 1976, promising
everything to everybody and attacking
the incumbent in almost every area
without offering any real solutions of
his own.
Mondale and Hart can talk all they
want about being men of the future,
but the truth is that neither of them
has offered any new solutions to the
nation's problems. Instead, they both
offer us the same rhetoric used by
candidates many times before. It "will
be a sad day if either of them is elected
to our country's highest office.
I knew it the moment I" walked
nto the Last National-Savings and
Loan the other day. The manager,
Milton Haberdash, rushed up to me
with a bucket of $ 1 ,000 bills. "Please,
sir," he asked fawningly,"can I make
you a loan under our new Edwin
Meese III Financial Plan?"
"Well, I don't know," I said thought
fully. "I already owe you $463,000 on
that Vista Del Mar. Fern Bar and
Ping Pong Parlor I purchased on the
slopes of Devil's Slide. And the darn
thing keeps going down in value,
mainly because the vista is getting
closer to the mar." '
"My goodness, I certainly wouldn't
worry about that," said Haberdash.
"Lots of people have lost money in.
California real estate. There's you
and Ed Meese and . . . and . . . well,
lots of people, I'm sure."
"Perhaps I should remind you," I
said nervously, "that I'm 15 months
and $47,000 behind in my mortgage
payments."
'That's great news!" cried Haber
dash happily. "You're right onsche
dule under our Meese Plan. In fact,
you've just triggererd the next step."
"You foreclose and throw my little
family out in the snow?" I asked.
"Good heavens, no," said Haber
dash, stuffing money in my pockets.
"When you get that far behind, we
automatically loan you another
$21,000 without cost or fees."
"Golly sakes," I said. "Who says you
bankers aren't all heart? You've been
so kind that I hate to tell you this:
I'm also on the brink of bankruptcy."
"Who isn't? Please be so good as to
accept this additional $60,000 loan
which, under the Meese Plan, we
press on all our customers w ho are
on the brink of bankruptcy."
"But I may go belly up at any min
ute, taking all my creditors down
the tubes. Why would you make a
loan like that to a deadbeat like
me?
"Because under the Meese Plan
you qualify as 'a good hi vestment.' "
Gee, that's super. What's the interest
on that loan?"
"Interest-schminterest. You think
we want to make money on your
troubles, Colonel?"
"Colonel?"
"Didn't I mention that once you
get this far in debt under the Meese
Plan, the Army, as a tribute to your
financial wizardry, immediately pro
motes you to colonel in the Army
Reserves and assigns you a job for
which you're not qualified? You want
to be in Disbursements?"
"No, but I do have one more prob
lem: Could I borrow another $15,000
for my children's future even though
I'll lose $3,000 of it in the stock
market?"
"Need you ask? And the beauty of
a measly $15,000 loan under the
Meese Plan is that you can forget all
about it."
"Haberdash," I said, shaking his
hand, "how can I ever repay you?"
"To tell the truth, I've always wanted
to be head of the Federal Home
Loan Bank, deputy undersecretary
of interior, or an alternate delegate
to the U.N."
"Would you settle for entertain
ment chairman of our Mollusk Watch
ing Society?" I asked.
Believe you" me, I've been thrown
out of better banks than that. In
retrospect, I don't know how Mr.
Meese does it. And I feel strongly
with Rachelle Marshall that he should
be confirmed quickly as attorney
general
Of course, her reasons may differ
slightly from mine. "Do you want
such a n udnick," is the way she puts
it, "to remain in the White House
making national policy?"
1E34, Chronicle Publishing Co.
'Deficit monster 'fed by Congress
Why does every other headline scream a wrarning
that "the deficit monster is going to get you?"
In bold red, white and black, Time magazine leads
the chorus: Our economy is headed for "a black
hole!"
f-d Paul
g Harvey
For 40 years members of Congress have been feed
ing, domesticating, making a pet of this monster.
Suddenly it terrifies them?
Not really. "
Employment is record high.
Sales and profits are soaring.
Inflation is under controL
But it is an ejection year. The outs wanting in
are desperate. With w hat can they frighten you? A
mythical monster with just enough flesh under its
mask to make it appear real.
Indeed, it looks real enough to frighten .Wall
Streeters out of nine percent of their wits.
But it is you the partisans they hope to panic.
And while surveys show that 23 percent of you
consider the deficit our most serious problem, 64
percent of you properly blame Congress for it. ....
There are members of Congress beating their
breasts about reducing our escalating debt who
have voted pensions of as much as $1 million a year
for themselves.
For Ted Kennedy, one-and-a-half million!
And the same Martin Feldstein now willing to feed
the carnivorous Congress more of you is the same
economist who underestimated last year's growth
rate by 100 percent!
As President Reagan says, "Economics is an inex
act science."
Berny Baruch said it better: "An economist is a
fellow who thinks he knows more about money than
us who have it."
Administration discreditors on The Hill ignore
White House invitations to streamline the spending
colossus, to negotiate and legislate a budget-reduction
"down-payment" of $100 billion over the next
three years.
Instead, the House Ways and Means Committee is
trying to figure out ways to work up billions in new
taxes.
Even our nation's governors join the chorus cal
ling for tax increases.
History says there is a sickness a lot worse than
debt: Inflation.
We've demonstrated that the way out of that is
more people paying less taxes, thus encouraged to
work harder and produce more.
As we all prosper, we pay more taxes without a
tax increase.
That is supply-side economics and it's working.
But Congress can and will spend it faster than we
can earn it if we let 'em.
ZZi, Lei An?.!sTinss Sr;i;c2a
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t y Tl Daily -n,
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