Wednesday, February 22, 1934
P A
Daily Ncbraskan
1
m Jk-
Reagan's venture
into Iowa limelight
wise political move
Iowa Democrats are in an outrage about Presi
dent Reagan's visit to their state Monday. David
Nagel, Iowa's Democratic chairman, called it a
"stunt not worthy of a president." .
No one can deny it was a political move, but it
seems to be a smart one on the part of the president.
On a day when all attention was turned to Iowa
and its caucuses, Reagan was wise in trying to steal
part of the media show away from the eight Demo
cratic contenders and focus it on his own campaign.
The president has no serious competition for the
Republican nomination and, as a result, almost all
the national campaign coverage has focused on the
Democrats. A poll in Sunday's Dcs Moines Register
showed just what impact that can have on an elec
tion. The paper reported that Reagan's popularity has
dropped 1 2 percentage points in the Hawkeye State
since Jan. 1, reaching a new low of 40 percent. His
disapproval rating an accounting of those who
strongly disapprove of his performance in office
now stands at 43 percent in Iowa.
Those same polls in the Register also show Reagan
trailing Democratic front-runner Walter Mondale
by 1 4 points and John Glenn by 1 1 points in head-to-head
races. Reagan and Mondale were running
almost even less than two months ago.
This dramatic change in the president's standing
clearly can be attributed to the prominent coverage
given the eight Democrats who have gone around
the country making almost every possible allegation
against the incumbent. Unfortunately, the lack of
coverage of the Republican race does not give the
president a chance to respond. It is up to him, then,
to try and recapture some of that media attention.
- Many people argue that with the Lebanese crisis
growing, a multi-billion dollar federal deficit hang
ing over us and unemployment remaining at rela
tively high levels, Reagan has more important things
to worry about than his re-election. They are cor
'Tectrof CTnrrse7but ourpresidential election system
xLfetetes-otherwise;---: - .-
Incumbents can talk all they want about a Rose
Garden strategy, but the fact remains that with our
two-term system, a president running for re-election
r, can be expected to spend most of his fourth year out
on the campaign trail instead of in the White House
solving the nation's problems.
Maybe it's time we re-evaluate our election pro
cess. Maybe a limit of one 6-year term would help
solve our problem. But for now, we have to live with
our current system. That means no one should be
too surprised that President Reagan will spend a lot
of time being candidate Reagan in 1984. If nothing
else, the president at least deserves credit for delay
ing his formal campaign for as long as possible.
Unsigned editorials represent official policy of
the spring 1984 Daily Nebraskan. They are written
by this semester 's editor in chief Larry Sparks.
4 vi
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Get your Beatles bedsheets: only 163,000 left
When the Beatles first came to America 20 years
ago, it seemed that everyting they touched turned to
gold.
But that wasn't quite true. There was the strange
case of the Beatles' bedsheets. Now the story can be
told.
When the Beatles made their first concert tour of
America in 1964, two enterprising young directors
Bob
Greene
at WBKB television in Chicago sat down and tried to
figure out a way to cash in on the hysteria the group
was causing. The men were Richy Victor and Larry
Einhorn.
They hit on what they thought was a perfect
scheme. They would contact the managers of sev
eral of the hotels where the group was staying, and
arrange to purchase the bedsheets and pillowcases
slept on by the Beatles. Then they would cut the bed
linens up into one-inch-square pieces and sell them
for a dollar each.
"We thought it was a magnificent idea," Victor
recalls now. "Can you imaging anything more excit
ing for a young fan than an actual sheet that was
slept on by an actual Beatle?"
So when the Beatles arrived in Detroit, and then
in Kansas City, for performances, Victor and Ein
horn called the managers of Detroit's Whittier Hotel
and Kansas City's Muehlebach HoteL The men made
cash offers. They would pay $400 for the Beatles' bed
linens at the Shittier, and $750 for the Beatles' bed
linens at the Muehlebach. (The group spent two
nights at the Muehlebach, Victor said. Hence, two
sets of sheets; hence, a bigger price.)
The managers accepted our offers," Victor said.
"We told 'em to plug the rooms up as soon as the
Beatles left. Seal 'em up like a murder scene
Victor and Einhorn went to the hotels with lawy
ers and witnesses. They procured signed affidavits
vowing that the Beatles had, indeed, slept on those
very sheets.
Then they cut the sheets up and mounted the
one-inch swatches on copies of letters from the
managers of the hotels. The letter from the manager
of the Whittier began:
'To whom it may concern: This is to certify that
the 'Beatles' stayed at the Whittier Hotel, arriving at
1:17 a.m. Sept. 6, 1964 (Detriot time), occuping
Executive Suite No. 1566, checking out at 2:05 p.m.
Sept. 6, 1 964. This is also to certify that the bed linen
so designated is authentic and factual as to each of
the 'Beatles' using same."
And underneath the manager's signature was a
small piece of bedsheet or pillowcase. Next to each
piece of linen was a notation: either "John Slept
Here" or "Paul Slept Here" or "George Slept Here" or
"Ringo Slept Here."
"Actually, that part was not quite truthful," Victor
said. "We had no idea which of the Beatles slept on
which sheets. We were just given bags full of sheets.
We had to guess who slept on which sheets. For all
we know, all four of them slept in the same bed with
four girls."
Continued on Pas 5
Hard-hitting ads sell Democratic Party
With the Iowa caucus results in, the
j , Democrats can rest assured that, bar
ring some catastrophe (or miracle,
depending how strongly you support
Gary Hart) Walter Mondale will be the
next nominee of the Democr atic party.
1 What they need to do now is focus on
winning in November. Even if Mondale
manages to blow the nomination, there .
)
Mike
Erost
zre some basic things the Democrats
can do to convince voters they should
vote Democratic.
" The Democrats should conduct a
media campaign similar to.the Repub
licans' in 1930. You remember those
swell commercials. My favorite one
featured someone who was supposed
to be Tip O'Neill driving along, ignoring
;a lackey's advice to pull over and
refueL First of all, the guy looked more
like Ed McMahon than O'Neill. Why
should anyone vote Republican be
cause Ed McMahon forgot to fill up the
tank? Even more importantly, what
72S . the ' alternative . in 1080? O'Neill
;raay have ignored the stooge's advice;
Reagan would have shot him or bet
ter yet, made him the ambassador to
Lebanon.
As absurd as these commercials seem
ed, they did work. My advice to the
Democrats (thanks for asking, Walt) is
to adopt an aggressive ad campaign as
soon as possible. For the best results,
their commercials should parallel
those currently on the air.
Some examples:
We've all seen the gripping anti-drug
commercial, where a six -year-old kid
is propositioned by what we can only
assume is the sleasiest of dope ped
dlers. "Hey kid," the pusher alluringly
mutters to Johnny, Vant a pound of
cocaine?" "NO," Johnny resoundingly
responds: The idea here, the announc
er points out in case we missed it, is to
train our kids to say no to drug ped
dlers or at least to obvious drug
peddlers. N
This format could easily be adapted
to meet the Democrats' needs.
Sleaze: Hey kid!
Johnny: What?
Sleaze: How'd you like to raise mil
itary spending almost 200 percent?
Johnny: NO!
Sleaze: Little girl, how'd you like to
limit welfare eligibility?
Dorothy: NO!
Ominous voice-over: In November,
liberals shouldn't be afraid to say no.
Johnny: NO!
Dorothy: NO!
Elsie: NO!
. Walt: No in one way, yet, on the other
hand...
The Democrats could also try the
"sex sells" approach. Although having
Walter Mondale and Tip O'Neill decked
out in tight jeans may be going over
board, the Democrats could try using
the same approach the Diet Pepsi
commercials utilize.
The camera would focus on Walter
Mondale and a female companion. The
shots are taken beneath the neck and
above the waist. She's holding a can of
the Democratic Platform (that's right,
it fits in a can, just like beans). They
talk in seductive tones, barely above a
whisper.
She: What's this?
Walt (raising his hands in a "V" for
victory sign): It's the Democratic Plat
form, honey.
She: Democratic Platform? Sounds
heavy. v
Walt (waving at an imaginary crowd):
There's no fat in this platform!
She: Any preservatives?
Walt: Just to preserve our national
porks and American way of life.
She: Cool.
Sexy voice-over: The Democrats. No
calories. No fat. No chance.
Finally, if these attempts at soft-sell
fail, the Democrats can try the fast
talking approach much like used car
salesmen utilize.
Walt: Vote once, vote twice, vote as
often as you like, but make sure you
vote for Uncle Walt's Used Ideas and
Old Promises. Friends, we've got the
solution to recession, the cure to the
equal rights dilemma and did I hear
you ask about jobs? Jobs, jobs, jobs we
got 'em by the handful and Uncle
Walt's Used Ideas and Old Promises.
Try and compare, if you can find a
candidate making better promises than
me, IH eat a bug. And speaking of bugs,
don't forget Watergate. Remember, to
get here, just take a slight left at your
local precinct, to Uncle Walt's Used
Ideas and Old Promises.
Fast-talking voice over: At Uncle
Walt's, we even have some old Fords
we wouldn't mind digging up.
And if worse comes to worse:
Announcer: The following is a test of
the emergency broadcast system. This.
is only a test, but if you're worried, vote
Democratic.
BRRRRRRRRRWVAVWVATJLIXLL.