Daily Nebraskan
Pago 7
Tuesday, February 14, 1984
Reflections ...
Continued from Pa3 6
black boxes, or maybe brown paper bags. Everyone
drove bi cars that used lots of gas, and they drove
them on highways where the speed limit was 70
m.p.h. Sure, everything wasn't roses and apple pie.
But a man knew how to be a man and he didn't go
around wimpcring about how tough he had it. Now
maybe I'm old-fashioned, but what's so bad about all
that? (The audience cheers.)
And tell me this, what do we have, for all our
modern affluence and enlightenment? We have
computers, not just at the space stations of NASA,
but in our living rooms. Computers that will some
day keep tabs on all of us and allow Big Brother to
put his iron grip on our freedom. Instead of the
symphonies and Dean Martin, we have heavy metal
rock and rollers who are poisoning our children's
minds with their trashy music, dirty long hair and
decadent lifestyles.
Maybe I'm cynical, but sometimes I think we'd all
be better off it there were a nuclear war. The final
war. The only cure for this disease called Man.
In the final analysis, who could possibly mourn
our departure? Certainly not the insects that would
eventually inherit our earth. And even if there is a
God, certainly He would not mourn the disappear
ance of the one mistake he had made in an other
wise perfect universe. Mankind will vanish as he has
lived, alone.
Tom (returning unexpectedly): Hey man, lighten
up. You're going to kill our ratings.
Glenn: I thought you were in Moscow.
Tom: I was, but the whole thing got called off. It
turned out Andropov wasn't really dead. He was just
playing a little joke on some members of the Polit-
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buro. It seems that thb was in retaliation for the
time one of them put rocks in his bed.
Glenn: Ha, ha! That Yuri always did have quite a
sense of humor. I love that guy. It's great to hear he's
still with us. (Audience applauds.)
Tom: "Go ahead, make my day."
Glenn: "Ask not what you can do foryourcountry,
but what it can do for you."
Tom: "Up, down, turn around, please don't let me
hit the ground."
Glenn: I'm bored with movies. Why don't we'
become food critics instead real men-about-town.
Tom: Yeah, I've been eating at the Super Sub a lot
lately. I usually order a ham, turkey and cheese on
wheat bread. Then I go next door to the 7-1 1 and get
a Big Gulp. It really satisfies. ,
Glenn: I like to go to IGA and get a big piece of
steak. Sometimes when I'm drunk and hungry I eat
it raw. ,
Tom: I used to go to McDonald's, but then I got
tired of it. I think the one by the airport might be the
best, at least as far as decor goes.
Glenn: It's true. Atmosphere really influences how
much you enjoy your meal.
Producer (appearing ominously in monitor): Well,
sorry boys, but it looks like your time is up. Just
remember, until next time keep your feet on the
ground and keep reaching for the stars.
WE'RE FIGHTING FOR OJR LIFE -
( 0 American Heart Association
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Good OrJLY Feb. 14, 1S34
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FREE DRINKS FOR LADIES
7-9 P.M.
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Show for Ladies Only.
' Men admitted after .show. .
OPEN AT 7 P.H.
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