A SUPPLEMENT TO THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 1934
Pag
30
PaUence key to interracial marriage success
By JOAN KORINEK
Differences without them, a mar
riage would be awfully boring.
Some marriages, however, have dif
ferences in culture, in race that
can add both to the problems and joys
of a marriage.
All the problems of any relationship
exist in interracial and intercultural
marriages but they are compounded
by differences in culture, said Peter
Levitov, director of UNL's International
Educational Services.
For example, Levitov said, some
people may grow up in a culture that
places a high value on efficiency and
achievement. In contrast, people in
another society may place paramount
value on harmonious relationships
between people, he said. ,
Each of these values make sense and
"may have some universal appeal,"
Levitov said, but a situation may arise
where on e valu e may take priority over
the other. In building a harmonious
and caring relationship, the spouse
who places high value on the relation
ship may be obtaining hisher goal,
while the other spouse may suffer anx
iety by having toputoffthe attainment
of a material goal, he said.
Another basic value difference could
involve each spouse's conception of
marriage. According to Luis Diaz
Perdomo, a psychological counselor at
the UNL Counseling Center, interra
cially and Interculturally married cou
ples can have different conceptions of
what a marriage is and involves. One
spouse may come from a culture where
divorce is looked down upon, he said,
while the other spouse may see divorce
a3 a common and accepted thing.
Tensions also can develop in an
interracial or intercultural marriage
S
GHOOM TOTAL
White 13,624
Black 445
Indian 49
Mexican 162
AH Other 70
TOTAL 14,350
NEBRASKA MARRIAGE;
1S32
DY RACE OF BRIDE AND GROOM
BRIDE
CLACK INDIAN.
WHITE
13,493
73
25
95
23
13,714
14
366
0
1
2
333
27
2
20
5
0
54
MEX. OTHERS
44 46
0 4
4 0
60 1
0 40
103 91
and Statistical
mr r-m Mh.rjcir?i upturn ijnia
Marriage 5iiiisi.ia nviu iiv.ii. - . ,
uoii. 6 . Q7i sntorrnrrfil nnd intercultural mar-
Kesearcn uince indicate uic wcc u, Ji7fM nn nrrpnf
riages in 1982. A decade earlier, there were 2 1 5. pis indicates an increase or
about 1 percent in interracial and intercultural marriages.
when one family is opposed to the
marriage, Diaz-Perdomo said. This is
especially true when a white person
and a black person marry, he said.
As a general rule, Diaz-Perdomo said,
society is harder on- an interracial
marriage consisting of a minority male
and a majority female. Two possible
reasons for this attitude could be that
society perceives the male as supposed
ly the one who decides to marry or that
women have stronger ties to the fam
ily, he said.
Another aspect of culture is the
number of children in each family.
Levitov said some cultures value large
families while others dont. Also, child
rearing ways can differ, Diaz-Perdomo
said.
Communication styles also can differ
from culture to culture. One spouse
may be talkative while the other is
reserved, Levitov said. This difference
in communication styles can conflict
when the couple disagrees, he said.
"People move from differences to
making judgments," Levitov said. If
both persons resent each other's words,
then qualitative judgments no longer
are being made, he said. t
Interracial and intercultural couples
need to consider the continuing rela
tionship with their families, Levitov
said. One spouse may be independent
of the family while the other spouse
may have been raised in an extended
family where an ongoing family rela
tionship is important, he said.
Because one or both spouses may be
a great distance from family members,
Diaz-Perdomo said, homesickness may
result. People need to decide in advance
how often they will need to visit their
families.
Although there may be cultural dif
ferences for interracial and intercul
tural couples, Levitov stresses that
these differences do not have to cause
problems.
Diaz-Perdomo suggests that a per
son who plans to marry someone from
another culture should go through
premarital counseling to learn the'
motive for marrying that person.
"When a person is marrying a cause,
you can get into trouble sometimes,"
he said.
To help avoid sources of conflict
Diaz-Perdamo said, each spouse should
be conscious of the ether's background
But this can be harmful if carried to
the extreme. Levitov said that if a
spouse changes himselfherself to be
just like the other spouse, then the
person has given up too much of him
selfherself and therefore may suffer
an ego loss and lack of identity with
any social group.
Interracial and intercultural couples
should be aware of the additional
problems that can arise from their dif
ferent walks of life, Levitov said. They
should think about what Issues may
arise and what can be done to prevent
them from occurring.
"A successful intermarriage shows
the ability of both partners to adjust"
Diaz-Perdomo said. "It can be a posi
tive experience."
People who marry interculturally
should have no extra problems as long
as Americans do not force their beliefs
and values upon the foreigner, said
Vaughn Robertson Jr., a counselor at
the UNL Division of Multi-Cultural
Affairs.
Some cultures have more tensions
regarding interracial and intercultu
ral marriages, while other cultures
have fewer tensions. Traditionally,
intermarriage i3 more common in Latin
cultures, Diaz-Perdomo said, especially
in Cuba.
Attitudes In the United States have
changed for the better regarding inter
racial and intercultural marriages,
Diaz-Perdomo said. There seems to be
less emphasis on the melting pot con
cept, he said.
. If everyone b happy and willing to
deal with problems, Robertson said,
love will transcend and conquer all
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