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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 6, 1984)
Paga 5 Monday, February 6, 1934 Daily Nebraskan O Bipartisan baloney abound: in Ronnie's return to -grade Good morning, house wives and other shut-ins. It s time for another chap ter of "The Golden Years, " tliat heartwarming day time serial which asks the question: "Can a re tired old D-movie actor find happiness leading the free world to victory over the forces of evil? For another four years?" As we join Ronnie and Nancy at the breakfast table to day, he's saying: Ronnie: Gosh, Nancy, that new toothpaste you bought tastes okay. But I Arthur Eioppe dal sheet, The Druse News, says that Syria's Assad has been singing "Sunni Boy" to the Aya tollah, who has conse quently refused to ap pear on the label of a Hills Bros, coffee can thereby offending the Shiites, the Maronites, the Israelites, and Quehtin Foster burke, a large Republican contributor in Secaucus, N.J. Whom do you want to head the Bipartisan Presidential Commission on Whatever That's All About? Ronnie: I'm afraid it see that it contains stan nous flouride. Nancy: Fluoride pre vents cavities, dear. Ronnie: But it doesn't prevent right-wing defect ions and this is an elec tion year. Nancy: (sighing) All right, dear. Whom do you want to be in charge of this one? Ronnie: What about Jim Baker? He's my chief of staff. Nancy. Xou can't ap point Jim to head your new Bipartisan President ial Commission to Deter mine Whether the Presi dent Should Employ Fluori dated Toothpaste. You just appointed him to head your new Bipartisan Pre sidential Commission on What the President Should Do about the Deficit. Ronnie: Darn. Where's Alan Greenspan? I know his Bipartisan Presiden tial Commission is finish ed telling me what to do about the Statue of Lib erty. Or was it whether I should return to the gold standard? Nancy. No dear, his com mission was the one that told you what to do about the Social Security mess. But he's busy now. Don't you remember? You named him last week to your new Bipartisan Presidential Commission to Determine Whether the President should De cline the Gift of an Alban ian Soap Dish. Ronnie: A slippery is sue, (rubbing his hands) I think I'm hungry. Nancy. Your Biparti san Presidential Commis sion on that subject thought you might be, but they weren't sure. Is Brent Scowcroft's com mission still hunting for an MX missile site? Ronnie: No, they found that. Brent did so well, I appointed him to head a new commission. They're hunting for my glasses. Scowcroft: We've run in to a problem, sir. George Bush is under here with his Bipartisan Presiden tial Commission to Deter mine How to Get Rasp berry Stains out of Taiwan ese Linoleum. And there just isnt room for all of us. Whom do you want to leave? Ronnie: Hmmm. That is a bipartisan presiden tial problem. As soon as some bipartisan turns up . .-.Wait, here comes my trusty aide, Michael Deaver. Deaver: Excuse me, sir. But Walid Jumblatt's scan- will have to be you, Deaver. We're running out of bipartisans. But report back to me imme diately after. Deaver: After what? Ronnie: Tuesday, Nov. 6. Oh, the agony of having to constantly made cru cial decisions! Nancy: There, there dear. You just sit back and let me fix you a nice breakfast. Which would you like me to pour on your corn flakes first the sugar or the milk? Ronnie: (leaping to his feet) KISS-IN-GER! Daily Nebraskan EDITOR GENERAL MANAGER PRODUCTION MANAGER ADVERTISING MANAGER ASSISTANT ADVERTISING MANAGER CIRCULATION MANAGER NEWS EDITOR ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITORS Larry Scarki, 472-1 73 Danltl ShfittSI Kitty PoUcky Trtcy L. Etavtrs Kally Grottshm Stava K9X9T Ward W. Trtplatt III Laurl Hcppl Jann Nyffclar Vlckl Ruhga Jtff Drownt K'.ka Frost Pat Clark Patty Pryor Jtff Goodwin ChrtaWaltch Lorrl Mon;ar Craig Andrasan Dava Trouba SPORTS EDITOR ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR COPY DESK SUPERVISOR NIGHT NEWS EDITOR ASSISTANT NIGHT NEWS EDITOR WIRE EDITOR ART DIRECTOR PHOTO CHIEF ASSISTANT PHOTO CHIEF The Daily Nebraskan (USPS 144-080) is published by the UNL Publications Board Monday through Friday in the fall and spring semesters and Tuesdays and Fridays in the summer sessions, except during vacations. Readers are encouraged to submit story ideas and com ments to the Daily Nebraskan by phoning 472 -2588 between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. The public also has access to the Publications Board. For'inf ormation, call Carla Johnson, 477-5703. Postmaster: Send address changes to the Daily Nebras kan, 34 Nebraska Union. 1400 R St., Lincoln, Neb. 68588 0448. ALL MATERIAL COPYRIGHT 1834 DAILY NEBRASKAN JOIN YOUR OLYMPIANS AND GO FOR jOSTENS GOLD I X! V ft; c i L R i S 4 Ri $25 OFFALL I4K GOLD RINGS See Your lostens Representative for details of lostens Easy Payment Plans Tuesday, February 7 IQam.- 2pm Date Tim(; NFRPASIfl RnDKSTQRE Place 0 0 4 999 IOSTENS IS THE OFFICIAL AWARDS SUPPLIER OF THE 1984 OLYMPIC GAMES. COLONIAL DINING ROOM OFFERS INFLATION FIGHTER SPECIALS Nil ' ft '' ' ' " a- 4. J : d 7 . v' ';: r r " i I I A A- I-. ... - -: r r . s Vi t i v ' ; -! x. -, - ' . - - " - Inflation Fighter Special in the Colonial Dining Room on Mondays with coupon and I. D. Faculty and Staff for only $2.99. On Tuesdays, Students can redeem doupon with I.D. for $2.99. 0 to INFLATION ,c3 Q 0 t) FIGHTER SPECIAL q D D D The Colonial Dining Room is located by the bank in the Union. 3 (D)(0) U iiifh nmnpr I D. Lunch in the n i " u U Colonial Dining Room fj Expires Feb. 29, 1984 Q O C3 E3 C3 O C3 C3 O T