Wednesday, January 25, 1934
Peg 3 4
Daily Nobraskan
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Pentagon s spenamg game;
the price is never too high
Good morning, America! Welcome to
The Prices Are Right (applause,
applause). I'm your host, Boob Barker,
and we've got a great show on tap for
vou today! (Applause, applause.) I wont
rrr ::::;r -
(Christopher
V7 Burbach
sM to Cental AMeiiea
e
No one was too surprised when the
National Bipartisan Commission on
Central America issued its recent report
calling for increased military and eco
nomic aid to Central America.
Despite accusations that the find
ings of the commission, led by former
Secretary of State Henry Kissinger,
were fixed, the real reasons for its
recommendations can be traced to
plain old common sense.
According to the Jan. 23 edition of
Newsweek, the major findings of the
report were:
The intrusion of the Soviet Union
and Cuba into local grievances is a
serious threat to the United States and
the western hemisphere.
The threat calls for a large mone
tary response from the United States,
including as much as $8 billion in eco
nomic assistance over a five-year
period.
Aid to El Salvador and the rest of
Central America should be contingent
on their progress in human rights. -
It didnt take some congressmen
long to find fault with the report
According to Newsweek, Rep. Michael
Barnes, D-Md., blasted the commission
for recommending only military solu
tions and ignoring political avenues.
A negotiated settlement in El Salva
dor would be the best solution, of
course.
But surely we have learned our les
son by now. Such a solution will not
work. What Barnes and many of his
colleagues fail to recognize is that for a
peaceful settlement to be reached, both
of the superpowers not just the Uni
ted States must end their involve-,
ment there.
If, while searching for a political
solution to the crisis in El Salvador, we
fail to provide the necessary support
for those fighting the Soviet-backed
leftist rebels, you can bet the Soviets
will take advantage of it
WeYe seen them do it before in
Cuba, Nicaragua and throughout East
ern Europe and there is no reason
to believe they would not do it again.
The United States has an obligation
to itself and the rest of the free world
to ensure that El Salvador does not
turn into another Moscow puppet The
only way to do that is to see that the
Salvadoran government is strong
enough to fight off the rebels.
be picking contestants out of the
audience today, because this show is a
special one it's our first annual Pen
tagon Showcase Showdown. (Wild
applause, national anthem.) General
Longbottorn and Colonel Starch
britches, come on down! You're the
next contestants on The Prices Are
Right
Longbottorn: Uh, thank you Boob. Hi
mom.
Starchbritches: Howdy, soldier, and
congratulations. You're the only per
son that has ever brought the Pen-,
tagon down. (Guffaws, hurrahs,
applause.)
Barker: Welcome, gentlemen. Pay
close attention now, because here i3
your first showcase . , .
Announcen'We have here 10 beau
tifully carnoufiad Italian troop trans
port helicopters! Of vintage design,
these whirl ybird3 can fly at three knots
for distances longer than the states of
Maryland and Connecticut put together
and carry up to 13 Cub Scouts and
their canteens. (Oohs, aahs.)
These choppers are both steam? and
petrol-propelled and come complete
with coal scoopers. The Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang-Copter
package can be
yours if the prices are right!
Barker: General Longbottorn, you
have the decision to play or pass.
Which do you choose?
Longbottorn: Whew, that's tough,
Boob. Could I make a quick strafing
run? Ho, ho, ho... just kidding.
Seriously Boob, if the ball i3 in my
court, 111 pop it. IH say $1.1 million.
Boob: Okay, General, don't want these
Iranians to get the birds.
Longbottorn: That's right, Boob.
Barker. Colonel Starchbritches, it's
all up to you now. Are you ready?
Starchbritches: Sure am, Boob
"Be Prepared," right?
Continued ca Page 5
Everywhere an awfully big place
Woodrow Wilson told us there would
be times like these:
"There wll come a time when Ameri
can will be surprised to find herself
growing old a crowded country,
Paul
: - Harvey
strained, perplexed when she will
be obliged to fall back on her conserva
tism, obliged to pull heself together,
adopt a new regimen of life, husband
her resources, concentrate her
strengths, restrict her vagaries and
trust for leadership her best not her
average -members."
The time is now but how?
When the Truman Doctrine was enun
ciated to resist all aggression wher
ever Vermont Royster was editor of
the Wall Street Journal.
He remarked then that "wherever is
an awfully big place."
Recently retired, Mr. Royster has
been traveling wherever.
Here is the essence of this expe
rienced observer's rationale:
; The Truman Doctrine made such
faraway nations as Greece and Turkey
"our business." We went there and put
out the fires.
Then Korea where we had to set
tle for half a victory.
Then Vietnam where we had to
settle for defeat.
Today in Europe we are maintaining
200,000 Army troops, 2,500 Marines
and a thousand combat aircraft.
In surrounding waters, 45,000 Navy
personnel.
Everywhere is indeed an awfully big
place.
Ccr.tlr.asd ca Page 5
-- ir"t r-f "
