Monday, December 12, 1C33
Perfect endixi
Dally Nebrcskan
Ccniinccd froa Pca 4
Which brings up a point Do you real
fee how many different word we have
for being drunk? There's lubed, like I
Just used, and blitzed, and Hemingway
used to say stinjcing, and wasted is a
good one. Or how about smashed
f npekered, hammered, or plastered?
Whatever you say they all mean the
same thing.
Anyway, we sing "Chestnuts Roast
ing On An Open Fire," which is my
favorite, and then we watch a football
game. IVe drunk quite a bit by now, but
I cant give you the exact figures,
because real men don't count beers.
Real women don't either, as far as I
know.
We start talking about the past year
and all the good things that have hap
pened. We try to forget the bad things
because it is Christmas. Somebody
says that next year is 1934, and we all
start looking around for Big Brother,
who is supposedly watching us. The
closest we came was the lady next
door, who was watching us from her
window. We quieted down.
It was getting pretty late so most of
us started to leave. Some of the people
that didnt drink gave some of the
mure wsstea, snocKerea, plastered
(choose one) ones a ride home.
We all really cared about one
another, so we saw to it that nobody
that was blitzed, lubed, hammered
(choose one) drove home.
That really helped to make it a per
fect Christmas party, even if I didnt
drive up in a Mercedes, and even if I
wasn't impeccably dressed. It was per
fect because we all saw to it that the
next day we still had all of our friends.
No one was killed in an alcohol-related
traffic accident and no one was
arrested. Now, that wasn't so serious,
was it?
Merry Christmas and Happy New
Year!
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