Monday, December 12, 1C33
Pcgo12
Daily Nebraskan
'Lavender Moonlight':
The Final Chapter
Ey Pat Clark
Last week: A series of self-righteous speeches
end lets of gunshots have left April May June ell
alone with . . . Dante Lavender. By official telly,
Babe Ruth shot Randall Hitler, Randall Hitler
shot Walker Treadmill, and WalkerTreadiaill shot
Babe Rath, conveniently eliminating April If ay
June's romantic alternatives and otherwise
extraneous characters in time for the heartwarm
ing final episode.
April stared dumbfounded at the carnage around
the dining table. She had become used to staring
dumbfounded at things. Soon she couldnt bear
looking any longer, and buried her face back into
Dante's pudgy and slightly sweaty chest "They're
dead," she sobbed into his Cardin original shirt.
I know," Dante said. "Ill have one of the crew lob
them overboard as soon as possible. Or we can
arrange a brief burial at sea if you'd prefer."
April pulled her face away from Dante's chest long
enough to breathe and take one more glance at the
by-now motionless bodies. Babe Ruth, the same
Babe Ruth who had been her best friend and confi
dant since the Wonder Bread years, lay slumped
over her chair, her auburn hair coursing down over
her face.
And Randall Hitler, who had taken her from the
life of just another Nebraska giri with caviar dreams
and oatmeal reality, and had brought her into a
world of wealth and political intrigue and hotels
with room service. She had to admit even now that it
was a world in which she longed to remain.
Walker Treadmill; poor, dear Walker Treadmill.
She wondered if she ever had really loved him. They
had known each other for such a short time. She
knew that, given more of a chance to get acquainted,
she would have died for him. She hoped he hadnt
died for her. ..;
"Shouldn't we inform the police or something?"-
April said, tears still rolling down her cheeks, but
fewer and farther between.
"And what would we tell them?" Dante said, his
voice void of emotion. "Shall we tell them that these
three people shot each other? That we were all con
spirators in a revolution in Madagascar? All they
will see is three dead people on a boat with two live
ones, and assume the live ones killed the dead ones."
April could hear the crackle of distant gunfire.
"What is that sound?"
"Oh, just the crackle of distant gunfire," Dante
said, looking at his watch. "The revolution for White
Madagascar has started. They're a couple of min
utes late, but well let it go without a dock in their '
pay"
Nebraska had never seemed farther away, or
more foreign. April knew she never would go back to
that life, if she could possibly live this one. Life with
Dante Lavender would always be exciting, she told
herself. And, well, except for Randall Hitler and "
Walker Treadmill, and those senators from Ne
braska and the desk clerk of the hotel and the cab
driver and Mark Harris and maybe a couple dozen
other men at the very most whom she had met in
South Africa, Dante was just the keenest guy she
ever had met. It sure felt like love to her, as she
clutched him tightly to her.
"You are going to tell me you love me, I imagine,
Dante said. "If you had the courage, you would even
ask me to marry you." -, ,
April looked into his eyes, admitting without
speaking that Dante had read her mind.
"It is unfortunate that I started making wedding
plans for us a couple of episodes ago," Dante said. "I
could have had nearly any woman in the world, but I
wanted you from the minute I heard about you. I
knew you were that one-in-a-million, no, ona-in-10-miHion
woman that was too stupid, too malad
justed, tod ill-prepared to make it on her own. All
, the other tycoons I know have their own vapid -.
glamour kittens, and now I have mine. I love you,
April May June."
, . They kissed. Dante burped. An explosion sounded
in the distance, followed by two more. April looked
up and' twilight sky was mled with lavender naze.
Any place where they have lavender moonlight is all
riht by her, she decided, wedding the title into the
' story one test time ';. . . .
"What is that?" she asked.
' "Chemical bombs. They wO probably make the
island uninhatitahla," Dante eafd.
"Oh well, that's too bad," April said, drawing
Dante's mouth clcccr to hers Sure makes a pretty
slr, though." - ' -; - " :-
I ti Ci ll i i,i n t'l r c f -tt
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t u-4 ? i c-v-
The work day begins as Pat gets his face
touched cp by his nake-cp man, Monsieur
Geoff. "You have to lock good to write sod
... write well, " Pat says.
Face prepared, Pat gets paper and type
writer ready far the work ahead. Bacacse
"Lavender Lloonllt is snch a rajcr
prediction, there always b a large crowd
milling aboct as Pet prepares to go to
work. .. v ;
- : ,
'r- x
Before wrhing can actsalSy tein, Pat
must make ussy. ; decisions. '"GhsblJ I psi
the paper in horixontally cr vcrticiy?V he
wanders.
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irr - ) ..'V
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t w . - i "
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. i- .:7," Pat ess-s. "It's a It!3 to
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css for It3 caa cf epedd cCects. Here, Pet
j.; -it scenes fcxtLs A?ril Llqr la
- OzZzt Cace" chapter. The c?l:3 never
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Escape Pat is a tij ttr and an
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