Thursday, December G, 1C33
Dally Ncbrsskan
Pfi03 5
Cabbage Patch dolls programmed individuals'
So It aDDeara thrt th
Christmas hit of 1C33 hasnt come
from the North Pole at all, but from a
plastic cabbage patch. It wasn't even
designed by e!vc3, but by computers.
. From all reports, the Cabbage Patch
Kids are thegreatest sensation since
E.T., which was the greatest sensation
y.
i
I m jyooaman
Ellen
since Barbie, which was the greatest
sensation .since the Shirley Temple
doll But this time the laws of supply
and demand have been hyped to new
heights.. ' .
The advertising for this one-of-a-kind
18-inch doll complete with adop
tion papers and, lord help us, a parent
ing booklet, created a frenzy. The short
supply turned that frenzy into the
mass hysteria we normally see when
starving mobs happen upon a truck
full of cabbages, not Cabbage Kids.
From notes collected by our far
flung correspondents on the consum
ing front lines, there is evidence of one
broken leg, assorted minor injuries
from elbows and knee3, and a thriving
black market. One store manager has
armed himself against the hordes with
a baseball bat, another temporarily
fired employees who tried to save the
Kids for themselves, and a third finally
gave his allotment away to a hospital
peai&inc wara.
The Cabbage Patch Kids pheno
menon is well beyond the normal
Christmas crazies. In a way, the pres
sure to get one of these dolls is a
bizarre replica of the real-life demand
for the small supply of adoptable
babies.
It has prompted Instant and termi
nally serious reactions from adoption
workers, birth parent groups and the
pop psychologists who make their liv
ing analyzing hoola-hoop3 and finding
the hidden meaning In Pac-people.
I am not sure that the Cabbage Kids
fad means anything much except that
advertising works. The doll itself has a
kind of squishy, cutesy ugliness.
Blessedly, it doesn't do anything, and
has no batteries. It's a welcome relief
from the biological dolls of a few years
ago which performed every bodily
function short of childbirth.
But what intrigues me about the
Cabbage Patch Kids is that each comes
with an illusion as well as an adoption
paper. It carries into our homes the
thoroughly modern illusion of mass-'
produced uniqueness.
The whole gimmick of these dolls is
that each one is a bit different, just like
real babies or snowflakes. This is the
first doll programmed by a computer
to be different Just wrap your mind
around that idea: programmed indi
viduality. There are now multiple com- "
1 iyg- Letters
Tests for T.A.S
The article , dealing with the pro
posed new requirement that foreign
graduate students pass standardized
tests before their employment as teach
ing assistants at UNL (Daily Nebras
kan, Nov. 8) was of great interest to me
since it affects all college students. I
feel a standardized test in English is in
great need at UNL as it was for many,
other major-universities which have
already resorted to a test to solve the
problem. Much of the material covered
in classes such as chemistry and phys
ics is difficult enough to comprehend
without having to decipher the words
in the lecture at the same time. We pay
enough money to take classes, so is
requiring teaching assistants to pass a
standardized test asking too much? ;
According to Hassan Sharifi, former
director of the English 83 a Second
Language program and English pro
fessor at UNL, The administration's
proposed requirement is arbitrary and
discriminatory." I also feel it would be
discriminatory to require students
from only non-English countries to
take the test. However, the problem is
far too serious to be ignored. Perhaps
all graduate students should be requir
ed to take the test This would assure
students of getting teaching assistants
w ith the best teaching and communi
cation skills available.
. ,: h. Ron Harvey
. . , freshman
construction management
System failed f
I preregistered last month for 13
credit hours, I got my registration
form back listing one 3-credit class.
Even if I am able to pick up enough
classes to give me a full schedule, I
doubt that they will be classes that I
need, or a schedule that wfll t In with
my part time job. Shouldn't something
be done about UNL's prereistration
system?
J.Anderson
... ' freshman
undeclared
'Drivel ' elicits reply
Yes, "Chauvinsltic talk serves a pur
pose," (Daily Nebraskan, Dec. 5). !t
keeps women Involved in stupid mond
games with their oh-EO-concerned
male friends when their time could be
better used In more productive activi
ties. Such as Cartas cut how to fortify
your house t "ainst repots. Or working
your tail c'J to earn the 10 cents
vcmen earn for every $1 men earn. Or
how to keep your job when your male
boss says "put out or get out "
All of you liberal white men who pro
fess to support feminism, please, please,
please don't chuck us under the chin
and tell us what a cute and wonderful
thing we are doing. You wouldn't do it
to your black or Chicano friends. Don't
do it to us. -j v v
Well, Bill Allen, you've succeeded in
. getting me to take time from my activi-'
ties to respond to your ludicrous ram
blings about feminism. Once again I've
gotten suckered into responding to
drivel that doesn't deserve a response.
Mary E. Emanuel
graduate student '
' - journalism ,
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Letters are selected for publication
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Nebraskan, Nebraska Union 84, 1400
RSI, Lincoln, Neb. 68583-0148.
OITOR
GENERAL MANAGER
PRODUCTION MANAGER
ADVERTISING MANAGER
ASSISTANT
ADVERTISING MANAGER
MANAGING EDITOR
Larry Spirkt
472-1 m
Umlsl Shttiit
K;i!y Poilsky
Trasy L Umrt
Killy 6rcttttfctM
Kticliisia Titumin
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ALL MATERIALCOPVRIGHT1SJ3 DAILY NISRASXAN
blnatlons of eyes, hair, skin, clothes
and names. No kid will find that his or
her "kid" Is just like the others.
Now I dont know about the rest of
you, but I have seen this Individuality
gambit somewhere before. Last year,
there was a perfume that wa3 guaran
teed to smell different on different
people. No longer would we have to
risk the social gaff of walking Into the
party with somebody else's aroma on.
There is also the Burger King ad which
continually entices us with the idea
that we can have it our way. "It," how
ever, remains their production-line
burger, no matter what you put on it.
This year, I am told, the perennial
monogram has become a hot sales
item. Mass-produced sweaters, socks
and sweatshirts, are being personal
ised in larger and larger numbers by
computer-programmed machinery
The Quest
Continued from Page 4
And haughty Halg! Banished for his
hubris in claiming to have not only
both Ears but the President's Seat
Vanished is Stockman; sold In slavery
to another tribe is Clark; pilloried is . , .
But the names of those who have
lost The President's Ear and, as an
inescapable consequence their
heads, are legion. And no wonder. For
one of the curious obfuscations in the
endless Machiavellian struggle is that
no one can ever be certain who has it
At the moment, for example, one
group of high priests headed by Wein
berger, Casey and Kirkpatrick, boast
fully claim The Ear and would use it as
a standard for marching off to battle.
Another, an uneasy coalition of Baker,
Deaver and Shultz, contend that, no,
with our very own Initials.- They're
doing It our way their way.
All this Is a bit like the caring special
service promised by the bankers who
know us only by our account number
and by an airline attendant who
knows U3 only by our seat number. But
there Is something even weirder In a
computerized, mass-produced per
sonal touch.
I don't think this Is evil These genet
ically engineered dolls are better than
clone dolls, such as Barbie. The Cab
bage Patch Kid3 are pretty engaging,
although I wouldn't break a leg for one.
But the fad Is a decent fake. It's part of
the phony Individuality that passes for
the real thing. And, Christmas or no
Christmas, that's just not an idea I'm
long to adopt.
1C83, The Boston Globe Newspaper
. Company
they have The Ear and the others
should genuflect or It will be employed
to strike them dead.
In the midst of all this sanguine hul
labaloo, silently sits the figure of the
president's mate, Nancy smiling in
scrutably. Eventually, of course, the president
will be awakened and kicked out of the
tribe. At that time, needless to say, he
will be given back his Ear as no one
wants the useless Ear of an ex
president So the entire Quest will be for
naught. Some anthropologists opti
mistically predict that the inhabitants
of The White House will abandon this
worthless pursuit and turn their at
tention to the outside world some day
but not In our lifetime.
1833, Chronicle Publishing Co. '
7
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