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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 7, 1983)
Monday, November 7, 1C33 Daily Ncbrcskan Pago 5 56Y 0 Tl TI MLS i : Recently IVe been criticized for bringing up prob lems and then not offering viable solutions. I'm not sure this is a fair criticism, but if it's true I'd like to Ef,tnefor it. Here, then, are the simple solutions to all UNL s problems. Some IVe written about before and some I havent. T! "no soiveo. hi one comnin JJL Bill Allen 1. Faculty salaries As the years roll by (I love that cliche), Nebraska s finding Its usual method of retaining faculty, paying low wages and brainwash ing with football mania, is no longer working. Either the football team has lost one too many games to Oklahoma, or teachers are finally realizing they can get paid, more elsewhere. It's time the university shows the state where its priorities really are. The solution: A new athletic dining room. 2. Racism in the Greek system I mentioned before, with a very weak argument, that sororities were racist, and the response to that column was so strong that the underlying truth of my assertion became increasingly evident The solution: First, buy my book, "Duffy Meets the Ku Klux Klan," then, turn state Sen. Ernie Chambers loose on 16th street with EDITOR general manager Production manager advertising manager ' assistant advertising manager managing editor news editor associate news editors layout editor wire editor night news editor photo chief assistant photo chief UrryEpsrfcs, 472-17D CMI P' uaaiul 6Ml Kitty Pcllsky Tr::y L Essvsrs If pMu Terry L Ky!:r.d I it ill lit.! UAi vvtfittX ris V Crslj Aniressn The Daily Nebraskan (USPS 144-030) is published by the UNL Publications Board Monday through Friday in the fall and spring semesters and Tuesdays and Fridays in the summer sessions, except during vacations. Readers are encouraged to submit story ideas and comments on the Daily Nebraskan by phoning 472-25E3 between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. The public also has access to the Publications Board. For information, call Mary Conti, 472-621 5. Postmaster: Send address changes to the Daily Nebraskan, Nebraska Union 34, 1400 R St., Lincoln, Neb. 63SS3-0443. Second class postage paid at Lincoln, Neb. ALL KATtr.lAL CCPYRSSHT 1 13 DAILY KZSHACXAN u WL AO r r , Save now on dupL'calT your ; stoeo or mono zudlo tepcsL Redeem this coupon by Dec 23, 1933 and save 10 off the regular price! J ; : Rcuhr ' pnee perudup!xate' - r t V ( O) Length Uurnbzr of dupliss of single cassette 1-5 6-15 t 3-25 23-53 I 51 C33 1.23 1.10 1X3 .S3 -CO CC3 1X3 1.73 I 1X3 1X3 1.43 Prices include tape and duplication fee. Prices for labels or soft-poly boxes are available on request. Coma to ths UWL Instruction-! f.'cdia Center, 421 Ncbrsska H;!Ir 472-1CC3. ' UNL is a nondiscriminatory institution. . n tmm jyfj a wrecking ball and chainsaw. 3. The ineffectiveness of AS UN Unlike many critics of our student psucdo-government, I have seldom blamed its ineffectiveness cn the students involved, and as a matter of fact I know several members of the organization who work hard and really seem concerned about some student issues. Matt Wallace, ASUN president, is the first to admit that the organization isn't given much power by the university or the NU Board of Regents. Wallace, also the student regent, isnt even given a vote at the regents' meetings. Obviously, then, the problem isnt entirely with the students, but with the system. The solution: First, buy the book. "I Was a Member of .ASUN," by Rodney Dangerfield. Second, just leave the ASUN alone, OK? They dont have any power anyway, and at least they're net hurting anyone. 4. Book prices The Nebraska Union and Nebraska Bookstores have the students by the pro verbial place I cant mention in a family newspaper. Books are sold for hih prices, then bought back for the prices of a draw at OTtourke's. The solution: , First, buy my book, "How I Beat the High Cost of Books by Selling This One," then, take advantage of the ASUN book exchange, borrow book3 from friends, or ask mom and dad for more money, because let's face it, we couldnt do anything about gas prices either. 5. The rising cost of education Tuition keeps going up. Rent keeps going up. WeVe already menti oned the price of books. Chesterfields even raised the Monday night price of imported beer from $1 to $1.25. All of these things are crucial to an education. More and more, we see students dropping out of school not because of grades, but because of dollars. Women have it easy. They can always get married. What have men got? The" army. The solution: This is a tough one. We could re-elect Reagan. The army cant be that bad. Or, how about a state student loan program? No, they would just add a tuition sur charge to fund it. ROTC? The plasma center? Prosti tution? Crime? Gambling? Or may I suggest ... no, no ... but maybe, well . . . just to try it I mean . . . how about getting a job? Nan. 6. Oklahoma Now here's a crucial problem. It's not like those petty things I mentioned before. We've managed to come to grips with it the past two years, but like bathing, just when you think you have it licked, you need another one. The solution: First, see my hit musical, "Oklahoma, where the backs come sweeping 'cross the line." And second, score more points than they do. . , . . Well, that about covers everything, and it's a lot easier than writing an advice column. Of course, I'd probably end up writing a column where people write in and solve my problems. There are many problems that dont have simple solutions, and quick cures just sound ludicrous, as IVe tried to point out with my satire here. Next week 111 go back to the old format of talking about an issue and trying to generate some thought. Ill leave the quick cures to the politicians. . Optical 3B3'No,:.12tfat 477-9347 10:C3 AM to 5:03 PM Monday-Friday Thursday 12-8 PM 10:03 AM to 1 PM Saturday 19 FRAME SALE Save 33 to 69 Get the Frames You Want for the Lenses You Need Ths Optics! Shop can O your prescription or duplicate your present one and fit you with a new frame that is just right for your face. The sale is going on NOW! - REPAIR SERVICE JSmofocc: A t IJucfon'a v : v ' r" V 4' 4 V 4.