Friday, April 8, 1D33
13
Daily Nebrasksn
Magazine Cueadlfaes ace on Ihete
1
Wednesday morning. Blue skies. 1 would have to leave
for Omaha as soon as my laundry and article were
finished.
I swallowed the last sip of my caffeine-free 7-Up and
threw the dirty clothes in my car. I dropped by my place
of employment to see if my uniform would come out of
the locker . . . everything but the socks came out; they
had melted to the bottom and ran out onto the floor.
I grabbed a cup of coffee and headed to Daddy's
laundromat . . .
What to write about? I grabbed a couple of magazines
in hopes that an article would trigger somethingin my
mind that would come out humorous on paper.
HEADLINES
For the Woman Who Xerer Dreamed She'd Someday
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T. Marni
Vos
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be Widowed - lots of laughs in that one, no doubt in my
mind this is the article that wiH bring people to their
knees with laughter.
The Men Who Make Women Miserable (And the One
Kind Who's Right for You) - hmmm . . . men who make
women miserable - Secretary of the Interior James Watt
... of course, he makes everyone miserable.
It could be men who grow their nose hairs out. Or
maybe they have horny convex toenails. Maybe it's an
article on chewing tobacco, or a true story about a miso
gynist. Is Your Marriage Meant to Last? - now there's
another topic full of chuckles ... an article that starts
with:
"We said, Till death do we part.' "
"A beaten woman spells relief, D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
"I thought it would never happen to me."
"I saw my former spouse in the park with 'nobody,'
- well, actually, it was another woman but anyway,
I ran :hem over with my car. Now I feel so miserable.
I feel as if I've really ruined any chances of us getting
back together."
Lose Up to 15 lbs. in 3 Hours and Keep It Off -right,
we're talking funny . . . give them three gallons of
plasma at the local blood bank . . . lay on a land mine
. . . shave your head, take off your clothes, clip your
nails and sit in the sauna till you feel like a raisin.
I hw Boring are You? How Boring is your Lifestyle?
A quiz:
Ttruc
Ffalse
Nneither clearly true nor false.
1 . My daily schedule is too predictable.
2. 1 watch my plants grow.
3. 1 am a walking TV Guide.
4. 1 haye a stamp collection.
5. 1 identify with my goldfish.
6. 1 love touring brickyards.
7. 1 think s,ex is a dirty thing.
You Waih to be Creative, but Are You:
Too old?
Too busy?
Too dumb?
I don't think I should turn to magazine articles
in hopes of triggering something off in my mind . . .
The dryer tumbles to a halt. Maybe 1 should forget
the article and head for Omaha.
Editor's Note: The Daily Nebraskan wishes to take this
opportunity to extend its congratulations to T. Marni
Vos, who was recently recognized on several national
newswires and radio networks for her "Second Quarterly
Unemployment Calendar."
The calendar gives a humorous view of how to get
through unemployment day by day.
"I thought it was a real blessing," Vos said. "I don't
want people to think I take unemployment lightly, but
I think if you can laugh through it, it can help. Laughter
is the beginning of healing."
Vos said the national attention may have gotten just
a little out of hand, and overseas.
"My mother lives in Germany, and she opened up a
paper over there, and there 1 was," Vos said.
Your gift can make
a difference.
American Heart
u Association
WE'RE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE
HOUSE OF
Think SFtO a bright brdi cf
226 South 11th 476-2775
Do You
Kimball?
y
J
J
j A
I
i
PLACE: COLISEUM UNIVERSITY OF
NEBRASKA-LINCOLN
TIME: SUNDAY, APRIL 10, 1983-10:00
Tickets available at the door -Children
under 7, Seniors over 60-FREE
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