10
Daily Nebraskan
Monday, March 28, 1983
Arts &
Entertainment
Is i V wostEi the trouble?
By Pat Clark
Last week: Under intense pressure from
a host of trite television cops, Dr. Donahue
surrendered to arresting officer Joe Friday,
on the condition that his case not be
tried in a typical American court of law.
Instead, Dr. Donahue, like hundreds of
vidiots before him, would be tried in
television's own justice market, the only
court that matters, "The People's Court."
The Honorable Charles Wopner, sage
dispenser of justice between the commer
cials, took his position at the bench.
"This court is now in session," he said,
nonchalantly pounding the bench with
his well worn gavel. He looked around
the studio courtroom and saw Dr. Donahue
standing where the defendant traditionally
does, with Nielsen, Spinoff and Brewster
crowded around the prosecution's micro
phone like a little trio of backup vocalists.
"Oh, it's you guys," said the judge
sourly. "The kidnapping case, right?"
Television Review
"That's us," said Spinoff, as Brewster
and Nielsen nodded their agreement.
Judge Wopner cleared his throat. "As
you know, here on 'The People's Court'
we frequently forego regular courtroom
proceedings and since you agree to that
condition before you come on the show,
you're stuck with whatever I give you.
"In this case," Judge Wopner continued,
"we had to find a crime petty enough to
fit in with the format of the show, so all
of this stuff about kidnapping and
terrorism and what-have-you doesn't mat
ter, at least in this courtroom. We tend
more toward the kind of trials in which
Family X wants Family Y to chop down
an apple tree because the branches extend
across the property line, big crimes like
that."
Nielsen looked up in the booth, where
the director was frantically waving and
stomping and pointing like he was choreo
graphing a hula dance about Armageddon.
Finally he got the attention of Mark
Lewellyn, who quickly cut away for an
obviously unscheduled commercial.
Judge Wopner continued, either
oblivious to the panic around him or
trying his best to pretend he didn't see
it. "Now, the way I see it, what 'a on
trial here is not Dr. Donahue or any
one of you on the prosecution side, but
television itself and the amount of
attention we give to it. The question
before this court today is not whether Dr.
Donahue or the Video Nostra or anybody
else kidnapped Nielsen to make a
statement about television, it's whether
television is worth the trouble."
Goggle-eyed panic prevailed among the
studio crew. Mark Lewellyn was calmly
telling the national television audience a
recently-hatched lie about Judge Wopner 's
"untimely illness" that would force cancel
lation of this week's version of "The
People's Court" and possibly all future
ones. The director frantically dialed a
phone number, which Nielsen guessed
would put him in touch with the show's
producers, while technical crew members
pulled plugs out of sockets and shut off
microphones.
Still Judge Wopner blathered on. "In
the opinion of this court, you are all
equally guilty of placing too much import
ance on television," he said, pointing
first at Donahue and then the others,
back and forth several times for emphasis.
"I am not going to claim that nothing is
wrong with television. For the most part
it is simply eye candy for people who are
trying desperately not to think. It is, after
all, television that brought us the likes of
roller derby and Hollywood Squares and
made Morris the Cat a more recognizable
name than that of the vice president of the
United States. But is that the fault of
television, or of the television audience?"
Nielsen could hear Judge Wopner rambl
ing on, but his attention was focused on
the sound booth, where the director was
talking to two men whom Nielsen
recognized as Marlin Perkins and liis
faithful sidekick Jim. Marlin and Jim
were dressed in safari garb and were
carrying rifles.
"We can't deny that there is a market
for the kind of programming we get on
television these days," the judge continued.
"Nielsen here is proof enough of that.
Somebody is watching all of those 'Love
Boat' reruns. We might wish it were not so,
and talk a big game about how television
should and must do more to educate and
improve people, rather than merely lull
them to sleep. But I am not so sure that
people are so easily or so willingly
improved. The history of educational
television is littered with shows that
everybody demanded ' and nobody
watched. What I don't think we have come
to understand is that while television may
be big and profitable, it is still not import
ant, at least not to the people who watch
it. Television is capable of both good and
great evil, but, for the present at least,
accomplishes neither. I say, leave it alone."
The judge was still talking, but Niel
sen's attention was focused on Marlin
Perkins, who was talking into the house
microphone. "While I wait up here in the
safety of the sound booth, Jim is downs
on the studio floor, stalking the judge,"
Perkins said. "The judge "seems to be
offering no resistance at all . . . Jim will
be shooting the judge with a mild tran
quilizer so that we can put him in a crate
and take him to his new retirement home
in Florida . . . there's the shot . . . it's
right on target, and down goes the judge.
And now this word from Mutual of
Omaha."
Next week: The resolution
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Bess Armstrong plays socialite Eve Tozer and Tom Selleck portrays Patrick O'Malley,
an ex-World War 1 daredevil pilot, in the action adventure "High Road To China."
'High Road' just another lookalike
By Jeff Goodman
It has been said that imitation is the
sincerest form of flattery. In Hollywood,
imitation is also a way to make money.
John Carpenter's success with
"Halloween" unleashed an entire pack of
Film Review
imitators, almost without exception pale
copies of the original.
Now along comes "High Road to
China," a film very much like "Raiders of
the Lost Ark." At least it tries to be like
"Raiders."
' That is both its charm and its downfall.
The premise is good: A society girl, Eve
Tozer, hires Patrick O'Malley, a down-and-out
World War I ace, to find her father,
who has been missing for three years.
Tom Selleck, in his first starring role on
film, plays O'Malley. He is basically just an
extension of Selleck's television character,
so he's had lots of experience playing that
role. He still plays it well.
Bess Armstrong also does well as Eve
Tozer. The part doesn't call for much a
rich spoiled brat but Armstrong manages
to breathe life into what is, on paper at
least, a pretty dormant role.
The best performance, however, is turn
ed in by Jack Watson, who plays
O'Malley's mechanic, Struts.
Well, if the acting is good, what's wrong
with this film?. For starters, too much
reliance on special effects. Whenever things
get a little slow, the director throws in a
little aerial combat or some gunplay.
But, unlike a lot of movies these days,
there aren't a lot of gory closeups of bullet
holes or anything like that, a welcome
change.
Not that the action scenes aren't good,
it's just that there are too many of them
and they get redundant.
In addition to the shoot-'em-up mental
ity, there are a few events that are a little
too convenient to believe.
After failing to find Eve's father in
Nepal, our intrepid heroes set out for
China, for which he was headed. And, lo
and behold, the first oxen pasture they
land in is only a few hundred yards from
where Mr. Tozer has decided to take up
residence. Now come on, guys. China is a
pretty big country and they didn't have
any electronic homing devices back in the
'20s.
One major problem with this film is that
the characters and their roles are defined
from the outset. They don't grow at all.
Indeed, they're not allowed to.
Selleck is the tough, hard-bitten war
hero who doesn't show any emotion
except when he recounts some of his
war stories.
But that emotion never comes up again.
And it hurts the character. We all know
that O'Malley is tough. He doesn't have to
show us that. A little more emotion
would have made him a much more sympa
thetic character.
The same is true of Armstrong's charact
er. All we see is a rich society girl who's
spoiled rotten. The reason she originally
hires O'Malley to find her father is because
her father's partner is going to have hin de
clared dead so he can take over the
company, thus depriving Eve of lots of
dollars.
Still, in spite of these defects, "High
Road to China" is a good movie. It has a
certain energy and vitality that most films
these days seem to lack. Most importantly,
it's fun. It's a good adventure film,
although not in the class of "Raiders of the
Lost Ark."
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Discount I
Claude Wilson
USPfl Instructor
477-5577