Monday, November 29, 1982
Daily Nebraskan
Page 11
Original
Work
Creation vs.
Evolution
Like a bastard,
He searches frantically for
a source.
His sharp intellect and
ability to think are a
curse.
The razor sharpness has
neatly sliced
The hydra head into two,
With tentacles groping in
opposite directions
For water to quench the
burning thirst
Of curiosity.
On both sides, all the
tentacles could feel
Is a jet of fine mist,
So fine it tickles.
An assuring lead they both
claim with giggles
And further forge apart.
A half fastened zip,
Itself tending to rip.
The right tentacles have
taken to measures.
As its course and compile
A huge amount of numbers
as treasures.
As a clue,
The puzzle of numbers he
must glue.
But alas, the puzzle fits
In more than one different
possible arrange
of tea-cups on
ways;
Like the
ments
trays.
With the razor he devices
the tools,
All his sharpness he pools.
And invents the brain
machine that fools
Along with the chance sub
ject for rules,
And finally concluded,
"there was
An EXPLOSION!"
An expanding universe,
With a "Big Bang"
to match?
Sounds like the looks
Of a stout 460-pounder
in Hanes shorts.
The left tentacles,
Of high fragility,
Abstain from mental
acrobats
And resolve with all his
agility
To climb the family tree
downwards,
Finding solace in the age
long stories;
A mighty potter; omnipot
ent, omniscient,
"omnigood,"
On his porch of gold
Excogitated and decided
to mold.
Having conjured the heavens
And all therein. On the
sixth day
He mixed HIMSELF a very
fine clay.
His breath he heaves on it
And on the seventh day
He did rest.
On Nature He makes us
the pest.
'Shola' Dele
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He Had a Dream
Sheldon Easley was born on a farm in the Midwest. He was not an
especially bright child, but did have a lot of ambition and a great yearning
for riches. So he studied hard, especially in biological science, hoping
someday to make it big in genetic engineering.
One day, while working on hog embryos in his home lab, he made a
revolutionary discovery about the conception of these mammals. With this
breakthrough he was able to synthesize and eventually market PRO-TO-HOG,
the "super swine inseminant of the '80s." He sat back and watched
as his fortune grew.
Sheldon wasted no time spending his new wealth. He purchased Alvo
Manor, the castle-like mansion of a former rock star. Also on his list of ex
penditures were a membership fee to an elite club near Los Angeles and a
sow-shaped swimming pool. But most importantly of all, he fell in love.
She was a young starlet he had never met but had seen in the papers
before he became famous. He wanted so badly to approach her but was
awkward, at best, at such matters.
Then at a party at the country club one evening, he found himself being
formally introduced to the gir! of his dreams. They talked for a while, and
eventually the conversation led to how he had established his recent
fortune. It was then that he proudly related to her the whole tale of his
PRO-TO-HOG empire. She was not impressed, slightly disgusted, and
quickly departed with the golf pro.
"Sow," muttered Sheldon as he stormed out and hailed a taxi in the
pouring rain. He Was never seen outside Alvo Manor again.
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