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Page 10
Friday, October 29, 1982
Daily Nebraskan
Airfe & EmteBflaanment
Halloween M' not frightening, not much at all
By Jeff Goodwin
Where do I begin to tell how bad
"Halloween III' is?
Well, first of all there's the plot, or lack
of plot. It seems that there's this manu
facturer of Halloween masks, and he's out
to do in the kids on Halloween.
You see, he's got these electrodes in the
masks, and when the kids watch this
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Movie
y Review
certain commercial on Halloween night,
their faces, uh, their features turn into, uh,
well, . . you don't want to know.
Throw in a doctor and a girl whose
father has been killed by the henchmen of
the mask manufacturer. (Somehow he has
found out about the masks. We never find
out how.)
They go to the town where the masks
are made. Talk about your company
towns! This town makes Harlan County
look like a Utopia. I mean they even have a
curfew here, folks.
So the doc (played by Tom Atkins . . .
you won't recognize the name but you'll
recognize the face) and the girl, Ellie (play
ed by Stacey Nelkin), get into all sorts of
misadventures.
Finally, they end up frying all of the
bad guy's henchmen. (Which isn't as bad as
it sounds, since all the henchmen aie, in
reality, robots.) And it looks like the
kiddies are going to be saved, but . . well,
for those of you who really want to see it,
I won't tell you what happens.
I have to admit I didn't see the first two
"Halloweens," but from all accounts the
first was good, the second not so good.
That's the way of most sequels.
Horror movies generally have two
characteristics: 1) They are gross. 2) They
are, at least ideally, scary.
Well, one out of two isn't bad. This
movie isn't scary, but it is gross.
The characters aren't even scary. Instead
of looking like monsters, androids all look
like businessmen in Brooks Brothers suits.
The scary parts are telegraphed in ad
vance, so much so that eyen a third-grader
can see them coming.
The script for this movie was probably
written over a weekend, and not even a
three-day weekend at that.
It's also stretching the imagination a bit
to believe that Atkins can smash an
android with his bare hands. What are these
things made of? Aluminum?
The actors, given the terrible dialogue
they are forced to recite, actually don't do
that badly.
An example: Atkins asks the baddie
Local haunted houses
cater to the macabre
that dwells within all
By Billy Shaffer
It is a dark and stormy night. You wander aimlessly
through the pitch-black corridor, keeping a tensed
shoulder against a reassuring wall and a watchful eye for
the next ray of light. All is quiet except for the screams
emitting from the other dark recesses of the house.
You come upon a room lit in that eerie blue reserved
for drugsex parties and rituals such as these. Suddenly,
why he is carrying out this diabolical plan.
Review
an arm reaches out. It touches you. It invades you. A
cold tingle runs up and down your spine. There is no exit.
It's just you and the monster, baby, and that monster's
on his home turf, pal. Good luck.
Halloween's just for kids, right? Forget it. Once a year,
we Americans give ourselves an excuse to dress up funny
and let the goblins take over. God only knows why 200
million otherwise semi-intelligent and well intentioned
people would choose the last day of October to make
fools of themselves and dwell on the macabre.
Whatever the reasons, Halloween is unique. No other
holiday is as self-indulgent, non-secular and purely
designed for fun as Oct. 31, (Well, I guess New Year's
Eve ain't bad, either, but then it's just for us adults . . .)
Anyhow, if there's anything of the child left in you, you'll
enjoy the "haunted houses" on Lincoln's. 0 Street
currently catering to our interests in the grotesque.
The Lincoln Jaycees are presenting their annual spook
house at 16th and 0 streets, and six blocks down the way
Light and Sounds Fantastic will scare you at 22nd and 0.
Both houses feature the same basic format. You pay your
$2 and a suitably-attired guide directs you through a maze
of scary stuff. I had a great time at both. I recommend
wearing Kimbies, in case fear gets the better of you.
These two haunted houses are really very similar. The
only real differenc between them is the amount of per
sonalized service you get and the length of time you have
to wait in line. Light and Sounds Fantastic features the
personal touch, while the horde queing up outside the
Jaycees joint tend to give one more of a cow-in-a-herd
, effect.
The wait outside both these places is an unavoidable
fact. The proprietors see to it that everyone gets the full
show. Good horror can't be rushed.
- light and Sound's show features a few interesting laser
and fog machine effects, while the Jaycees probably have
a few more rooms of ghastliness. It's a toss-up between
them.
For obvious reasons, I won't divulge the particular
surprises both houses have in store, but I would warn
about the spiked wall that just might crush you in the
finale at one of these creepy places. Ever feel like James
Bond before?
Oh, yeah, one more thing. If you're going, take a friend
that scares easily. Those extra screams just add to the yuk
appeaLBOO!
He replies, "Because I enjoy a good joke.
It's a wonderful joke on the children."
OK, pal, if you say so. Lmean I enjoy a
har-har as much as the next guy, but, as
W.C. Fields said, "I fail to understand her
funning."
Perhaps, with a better script.the actors
could have salvaged this film. But even that
is asking a lot.
In fact, about the only good thing in
this movie is the theme song. Or rather,
theme ditty. It's this commercial that
recurs throughout the film. It advertises
the Silver Shamrock masks and goes "Eight
(or four or. two as the case may be) more
days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween.
Eight more days to Halloween Silver Sham
rock." Much to my disgust, I found myself
humming this the next day. But this too
shall pass. And you should pass on this
movie. Go to a Halloween party instead.
BOO!
Aa . . .
(mm 0 mm.? i mS
i "
Halloween weekend
keeps clubs hoppin'
The Halloween weekend is traditionally a big
time for parties at clubs. This year is no exception.
There is action of all sorts around town. Break
out the Darth Vader costumes, impress your friends
and win contests. Although Sunday is Halloween,
Saturday looks to be the big night.
Little Bo's and KFRX are presenting the first
Monster Mash Bash on Saturday. Prizes include a
trip for two to Las Vegas.
Popular combo Cricket will be playing all your
favorites at Judge's.
The Drumstick presents the fourth annual
Freaker's Ball Sunday night. Charlie Burton and
the Cutouts, Jim Jacobi and the Crap Detectors
and the Rattlecats from Austin, Texas, will be
performing. Prizes will be given for the best cost
ume. Jacobi and the Crap Detectors will tak to the
stage Saturday night at Larry's Showcase, along
with local reggae group Cost of Living. A blues
jam will be featured Halloween night.
Blues harmonica favorite Charlie Musselwhite
will be at the Zoo Bar Friday and Saturday.
P.O. Pears, The Mountains and others are having
costume parties Saturday night.
Life and death
at the Psi Phi's
Rain dropped from the starless sky like soaking sheets
of mucus. Lightning flashed. In a burst of gray illuminat
ion, Chester Marks glimpsed lawns, streets and parked
cars, pasted with wet fallen leaves, looking like they
were coated with chipping gray plaster.
Immediately, it was black again. He heard bats chirp-
mg m me direction 01 tne Capitol building. The thun-
r
r
E David Wood
der arrived, exploding. A bat, its radar knocked awry,
swooped past his head.
Lightning flashed. Marks glimpsed cement gargoyles,
a spiked iron fence, a heavy gate and a nameplate en
graved with two letters from a dead language, a trident
and a null sign. He had found it, shelter from the miser
able storm. Marks was on a cross-country trek and a
weird old friend, Red McArony, said he could stay the
night at his fraternity house in Lincoln.
The thunder banged. The knocker banged. The door
opened a crack. All Marks could see was a disembodied
smile, gleaming, as if it used fluorescent, instead of
fluoridated, toothpaste. It said nothing.
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