Friday, October 8, 1832
Paga 12
Daily Nebraskan
Arte Emterftaisranient
M :l a p.; "
'Polyester' aims for sick minds
By Billy Shaffer
Ever have one of those days
when the trash compactor just
won't work? Me neither, but
Francine Fishpaw undoubtedly
has.
Francine (played by trans
vestite actress Divine) is the
rather large leading. . .urn,
t person in John Water's newest
i i
S Movie
fete Review
film, "Polyester." The Fishpaws
are your stereotypical suburban
American family.
Elmer (David Samson), Fran
cine's husband, runs a porno
theater and is having an affair
with his secretary: Dexter (Ken
King), her punk son, has an
aversion to PCP and cleaning
solvents and gets his jollies by
stomping on women's feet with
his combat boots at shopping
malls: Lu-Lu (Mary Garlington),
her pregnant daughter, turns
tricks to get herself through
high school and keep her boy
friend Bo-Bo (portrayed by Stiv
Bators of the band the Dead
Boys) in beer and baseball bats.
Why, they're just another
family from down the block!
Francine's world crumbles be
fore our eyes ,as, one after
another, her family either de
serts her or gets arrested. In
fact, things get so bad that the
family dog hangs himself, leaving
a "goodbye cruel world" sui
cide note scrawled on the re
frigerator. Francine's saran-wrapped life
deteriorates to the point where
all she has left is alcohol and
her best friend, Cuddles. Cud
dles (Edith Massey) is a re
tarded housekeeper who has in
herited millions from her former
employer. Massey practically
steals the show.
Into Francine's dismal exis
tence bursts new hope in the
form of Tom Tomorrow (Tab
Hunter). Suddenly, Mrs. Fish
paw's life becomes as peachy
as a Coke commercial. But if
you're familiar with John Wa
ter's slant on life, you know
this happiness can t last for
long. And it doesn't.
On entering the theater, each
viewer is given a scratch'n'
sniff card containing 10 scents.
When the corresponding number
flashes on the screen, patrons
get to smell roses and air freshe
ners, as well as less savory aromas.
The smells are fairly faithful to
the screen (the boxed pizza is
obviously pepperoni) and, as
Dr. Quackenbush tells us in
the introduction, it really works.
The acting in "Polyester" is
wonderfully bad, with the ex
ception of Tad Hunter, whose
performance is reduced to sorta
good.
If you're a person with a
shopping-mall mentality, or if
you live in a cul-de-sac world,
you should probably stay away
from "Polyester." You might
see yourself there, shopping at a
Recordworld. If you're a cyni
cal, satirical person, or have a
sick mind or a slightly warped
sense of humor, youH love
"Polyester." I loved it.
Two Aldas are Tront Page' headliners
By Chuck Jagoda
Robert Alda will celebrate his 50th year
in show business next Friday while co
starring in "The Front Page," which opens
tonight at the Lincoln Community Play
house. Alda, co-starring with his son Antony
in the playhouse's annual celebrity show,
plays the part of Walter Burns, the same
Personality
role he took over from Robert Ryan when
"The Front Page" was revived on Broadway
in 1969.
Alda's career includes acting in vaude
ville, movies, and night clubs and on TV and
the stage. But to the many fans of his son's
popular TV series, "MASH" he prob
ably always will be "Alan Alda's father."
When Alan was stricken with polio as a
child, his parents took turns applying Sister
Kenny hot packs and massaging the muscles
of his paralyzed legs. The beloved TV and
movie star shows no trace of the crippling
disease today.
The senior Alda's film career started with
the starring role of George Gershwin in
"Rhapsody in Blue" but never really took
off. His greatest stage success was the role
of Sky Masterson in "Guys and Dolls."
Alda created the role, which was played by
Marlon Brando in the Hollywood treatment.
Antony Alda, the youngest member of
the family's acting dynasty, began acting on
television as a child. He has appeared with
his father and older brother in several
"MASH" episodes and has appeared
in other TV and stage roles.
CJ: How often do you do celebrity shows
like this?
RA: We just did another one. . .in Hay
ward, Calif. We also did one in Austin,
Texas. . .1 want to say I like David Larson
(director of the playhouse) for doing a show
like this. It's a big show - 25 people. Nowa
days in theater, it's all four-character shows,
or even one-character shows, to cover
expenses. And here, because it's community
theater, you can put on a big exciting show.
It's marvelous to see a stage full of people,
each with their own little bits and interests.
CJ: Is it hard to walk into a show that
people have been working on for months
and that's already set?
AA: It's somewhat easier to walk into
something that's set, if it's not set too
rigidly. Then you get to find your own way
through the ins and outs. Basically, if
everybody knows what they're doing, it
makes it easier for you. . .
RA: . . .A lot of details are taken care
of in the few weeks. . .We come in and blend
it all together, as we way, put the pizza
together.
CJ: How is Hollywood now, compared to
when you started?
RA: Today the studios are run by
bankers. The guys who ranlftudios in the old
days were like tailors. The studios were like
a piece of cloth. They know they had to
get as many suits out of that piece of cloth
as they could. Some of those pictures
might not be very good, but the few that
were good, they knew they could sell
those in package deals, which included the
ones that weren't so good. Today they
spend $10 million to make a picture, then
they have to spend another $10 million
promoting it. It's very hard to get that much
back on the picture.
No way found
to get studying
"Elvira. . .eyes like cherries,
lips like wine,
I'm so glad Elvira's mine. . .
Giddy-up. . .a oom ba ba oom
ba ba. . ."
WOW went country. I flipped my
radio to phono, Kenny Loggins
T. Marni
dropped on the turntable, and I
sat with 1,523 textbooks in front of
me. My condensed paperback Time
encyclopedias were to my right,
nine workbooks to my left and all
my Flairs. . .pink, yellow, blue,
green. . .my coffee was perking on the
stove, and I knew if I studied for the
next 19 hours straight, there was no
reason on God's green earth why
I couldn't pull off a B on my lin
guistics test.
Continued on Page 13
The Battle
The sun was hot as it shone over the green field. The
air was heavy with humidity A white haze could be
seen over the distance. The strong breeze blowing
wasn't noticed, as the field was enclosed in a deep
canyon.
Reports had come into camp, all week that the
enemy was preparing. They were readying for a,
skirmish, for a clash with us. The rumors about the
enemy had spread throughout our ranks, "They are
merciless. They have no compassion. They are
ruthless, everyone said.
We weren't exactly afraid. Rather, we were anxious
and nervous. AD we could do was to stock up on am- '
munition and sit tight. We waited and waited. The'
anxiety was nearly unbearable. The inevitable battle
was going through our minds continually
We'd been through the experience of battle before,
but not like this. Somehow, this time we weren't only
fighting an enemy. This time we would fight to prove a
principle. Victory was mandatory. If the enemy tried
to advance, we had to rise to the occasion, '
This morning, the general's suspicions were realiz
ed. Our scouts reported that the enemy was advancing
into our territory. It was our job to stop them, Ws had
to stop them! The strategy point was the green field in
the distance, we were told. AD morning we prepared.
We made ready our artillery. We gathered ammunition.
Our forces bcm to move.
At hih noon, the sun beat down upon our faces as
the general hi our troops to the field. We could see the
foe zi-tzzdr.z. 1 y heart v.is thumjir to the beat of a
thousand drummers. Sweat poured down the sides of
my battle-scarred face. My head was pounding under
the weight of my helmet. My throat was dry. My palms
were moist.
As the general had expected, the enemy struck in
early afternoon. The sights and sounds of battle were
all around. Arms and legs were flailing everywhere.
Groans and grunts, almost animal-like in nature, sound
ed. Madness prevailed. Dust, dirt, more groaning and
utterances of battle cries were overpowered only by
Original Work
the heavy scent of human' sweat and toil. Dirt caked
upon my sweaty face. My knees were weak from the
heat. But 1 forgot, I was too scared to be frightened,
too proud to run away The battle wore on . . .
Artillery was exchanged into the afternoon. The sun
constantly shone hotter. As time went by, our forces
weakened. Many men went down. Many shrieked in
pain, cried in anger, screeched in the intensity of war.
I couldn't give up! We had to stop them!
Suddenly I heard the general bark my name, ! ran to
his side. He ordered me to take a classified package
through enemy lines to a neutral contact on the other
ride." "The battle depends upon the safe delivery of this
package. We're counting on you, son. You're the only
chance we've got!" he yelled, above the roar of battle. -He
placed the odd-looking, brown package into my,
hands. I had been charged with an all-important task,
and by God, whether I understood why or not, I was
going to complete the duty if it cost me my life!
I tucked the package under my arm and began to
run toward the enemy lines. The battle was still raging,
The enemy clawed at my package with obsessive deter
mination, but I was equally determined. I ran like Yd
never run before, like the wind itself. An enemy hand
grasped at my leg. An enemy's body came hurling into
my thigh. Wincing in pain, 1 stayed on my feet, I kept
running. I panted for air. My lungs writhed with strain.
I could see my destination ahead. I had to deliver
the package to the contact. I could see him before mY
He was standing there awaiting my arrival. The enemy
hounded my heels, breathing down ray back. Artillery
sounded everywhere. "Just a few more yards , I'm
almost there," I thought An enemy caught my uni
form In his grasp. To prevent my doom I hurled my
self into the air to break his grasp, . -
I hirthe ground with a thud, I looked up. My
contact, the striped-shirted referee, raised his arms to
signal the touchdown I glanced down at the dusty
football still in my grasp,, resting upon the white -chalked
goal line. ! heard the ecstatic crowd go wild as a sea
of red rose to its feet. I rose to my feet m time to see
the blanket of red b?Uoons fill the air.
I was caught up in the unbelievable joy of the ,
moment. I hugged my comrades. I had to shake my
head in disbelief. Tears filled my eyes. The battle was
over. The scoreboard clock read double O. We had
done it! And I had helped! We had indeed won the
battle! The Huskers defeated Oklahoma once again.
Curt Aixn3
Curt Artn$ $9nrBi 3ricu!tur major. Hi p'ic,
Th EattV it pm of wwkly fetar csUed
Original Work, UNL students lntartd in luhmitfir .
photography, . art, cartoons, pros or - poetry should
contact 0vid Wood th DaBy Nebrasfctn. If
nuir.fegr, msjor ind yea fa school.
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