Wednesday august 18, 1982
page 44
daily nebraskan
Culinary disasters leave cook wary of kitchen
"Remember," chef Julia Child once said
as she scooped the remains of some un
fortunate delicacy from the floor, "you are
alone in the kitchen."
Alone, she says. Desolate, more likely.
Abandoned would be an even better word.
Of Mary Louise
Y Knapp
After my kitchen exploits of this summer,
when I tried, day after day, to produce at
least one edible meal, I was, indeed, a very
solitary person.
To be blunt, no one would come over
for dinner.
At first I couldn't figure out why. With
characteristic generosity of spirit, I first
blamed my friends' overcrowded schedules.
Upon discovering that they were all
either unemployed students or part-time
maintenance workers, I then decided that
my dirty house was the problem.
After I cleaned the apartment thorough
ly with Pine-Sol and requested the Hari
Kari Exterminating Co, to make a guest
appearance, I again .issued social invitat
ions. The number' of unexpected deaths
among my acquaintances' relatives that
week will never cease to amaze me.
Something else, I decided, must be
wrong. I sat down, did about two and a
half hours of calm, rational thinking and
finally arrived at the logical conclusion.
Yes, Mary Louise, I said to myself, it ain't
you they don't like. It's your cooking they
can't stand.
I should have seen it coming in early
May, when, as a starry-eyed youngster
fresh out of the dorms, I went forth upon
the exciting adventure known as living on
my own. Armed with only an iron spoorr
and several second-hand pans, I breezed
into the world of cooking with enthusiasm.
Without my mommy standing by the stove
(ever ready to step in with a firm hand if I
got too creative with the family favorites) I
felt my liberation was at hand.
No longer would I be confined to boring
recipes and authoritarian cooking rules.
The cuisine I would develop, without bene
fit of cookbook, would be exciting,
revolutionary ... and delicious. Visions of
elegant dinners for four, eight and 16,
complete with the appropriate wine and
centerpiece, filled my head.
Not wanting to expend my creative
powers too quickly, I started off with a
simple tuna casserole. Let's see, how did
Mom use to make this, I thought, rummag
ing through the scantily supplied cupboard.
The basic ingredient, tuna, was well
represented, but a thorough search failed
to turn up any noodles, onions, mushroom
soup, etc.
The closest thing I had to a casserole
dish was a beat-up pie plate, into which I
spooned the unsavory mixture. I couldn't
remember how long the stuff had to be
cooked, so I resorted to the age-old tech
nique of peeking in the oven every five
minutes?
After approximately an hour, I took it
out. The sight was horrible. Half of the
casserole had run down the sides of the
dish and burned, while what remained in
the pan resembled the aftermath of a very
messy auto accident.
rites to the casserole, I tried another
approach - the reproduction of my
mother's fried chicken.
I knew there was no way I could mess
this one up. Had I not, from the moment
I was able to take my first tottering steps,
helped Mom cook and serve the beloved
dish? Full of self-confidence, I fried the
bird (it turned out black, but I wasn't
worried) and, with housewifely enthusi
asm, made gravy, too.
For some mysterious reason, the gravy
failed to thicken, and the vast amounts of
butter and milk I kept pouring in only
made matters worse. I had used up my
entire supply of baking soda before I
realized that a couple of tablespoons of
flour would have helped immensely.
The chicken was too tough to eat, but,
unwilling to throw it away, I decided to
turn my mistake to my advantage and
make yet another family standby, chicken
soup. Of this, I don't even like to think.
I now own a cookbook, whose recipes
I follow with respect and reverence. My
cupboards are also stocked with plenty of
prepackaged, fully reliable convenience
foods.
tjiEr" COMETcT
lX DOC'S PLACE I
lir ,',u n MnRinnv c ati inn A V
1 vC fi gjs 'v.: ; Open 3 p.m. - 1 a.m. J x
I jfY Tuesday is Dance Contest Nite
$250 Tab at Bar to Winner!!! (( :
ivP VlTT FilJrNi Wednesday is Ladies Nite I j5S -"Tiwi " -""7S5 riS'Biff
-iTU i n SZ() Thursday is Harem Nite f WV ' JJj
-jf J $25.00 Tab at Bar to the Man 1 - : 5 gajggg
i bSb- 0 which brings in the most Ladies!!!
: DOC'S PLACE I 0Q Ou m
j 56th & CORNHUSKER HWY. (next to Wheeler's)
LINCOLN'S NEWEST NIGHTSPOT
Would Like To Show You What It's All Ahout.
Larry's Showcase (Formerly the Scoreboard) would like to welcome you back to the university and introduce
you to it's fine music program. We offer you a variety of musical styles from near and far with the emphasis
on Quality and Fun. Our in-house sound system is second to none and we have a complete Game Room and
Bar on our lower level.
Tonight & Thursday
P4SH RJPRQCK
"Good-Time Rock V Roll by The Human Hurricane
- come early for a good seat" $3
f ,
I ----,
I .
DASH R1PR0CK - Aug. 3 1 Sept 1,2,
"The Human Hurricane"
f,y
JUL
From Chicago
SON SEALS - Aug. 20,21
And His Blues Band
"One of the nation's top Blues Artist" $3.50
....
The Master of Kansas City Jazz-Blues
JAY McSHANN
And his trio with special guest Priscilla Bowman
Aug. 26, 27, 28 $3 Thu., $3.50 Fri., Sat.
t. jmnmmm.-
Former Hcartmurmurs .
-Aug. 23, 24, 25
Sean (Cocktail Shorty) Benjamin andCidCidlik have
teamcd-up with a new rhythm section to form a hot
new band. Don't miss 'em. $1.50
THE TORNADO - Aug. 30
"Rock 'n' Roll" $1
Watch for our Grand Opening Specials
and for the opening of our kitchen.
n THE MQRE1LS - Sept 14.5.
Rock-A-Biliy And good-time Rock V Roll
1316 MNwSt.
