Wednesday, September 30, 1981
daily nebraskan
page 5
Oh I'm a Yankee Doodle A-bomb
The Administration worldwide get-tough policy is no
doubt striking fear into the hearts of our enemies. But it's
hard on us dedicated patriots.
I remember when we we could go along for years hat
ing the treacherous Nips and the fiendish Huns while ad
miring the gallant Russians and the brave Chinese or
vice versa. But now, if we want to know our enemy, we
have to hustle out each morning and grab the paper before
the dog gets to it.
In particularly dire straits is Tin Pan Alley, which is re
sponsible for maintaining the nation's morale. It seems like
only yesterday that the noted tunesmith Twinkle Fingers
La Roche burst into my office, assembled his portable pi
ano and began banging out what he touted as his latest
hit:
"There's nothing more pleasantThan to bag a Commie
peasant For the Junta and the Red, White and Blue."
In fact, it was yesterday. "That's not only bad taste,
Twinkle," I said, "but you're way behind the times when
it comes to El Salvador."
"Maybe so," he said, marking the sheet music "Hold
for Release." aBut think how far ahead 1 am when it
comes to Honduras and Guatemala."
"What have you got that's current?" I asked.
He played a few bars of "From the halls of Montezuma
to the shores of Tripoli," segued into "Libya, oh, Libya,
well kick you in the tibia" and then finished off with
"Oh, what a laugh heIs that Kaddafi,Ka-dflly, ka-dilly,
da-daffy,That silly, hfll-bflly Kadaffl.Wow, will he
whistle When our heat-seeking missile . .
"Never mind," I said. "Hate Libya Week was last
month.
A hint of desperation came into Twinkle's eyes. Okay,"
he said, "listen to this: Goodbye, gang, I'm off to Pyong
yang To make the skies safe for our SR-71."
"SR-71?" I said. "That's not too catchy. But go on."
"That's all I've had time to write," he confessed abject
ly. "To tell the truth, I havent finished a tune in six
months. Every time I get to the second verse, a new crisis
pops up. I'd starve to death if it weren't for my old stand
ards. "Like what?"
"Oh, you know: You're Nothin But an Afghan Hound
Dog, 'Praise the Lord and Pass the Neutron Bomb, 'Poles
of My Heart (Keep those Poles apart), and 'Knick, Knack,
Sell AWAC (Give Tel Aviv a bone . . .)"
"Those arent good enough, Twinkle," I said. "We need
a song that will pull America together."
"How's this?
,of..."Sud-
"I'm working on it," he said defensively.
There'll be MXs over The white cliffs of . .
denly, he broke down, sobbing.
"Pull yourself together, Twinkle," I said sternly,
country is counting on you. Over where?"
Editorials do not necessarily express the opinions of the Dally
Nebraskan' publishers, the NU Board of Regents, the University
of Nebraska and its employees or the student body.
USPS 144480
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'The
He leapt to his feet and embraced me. "That's it!" he
cried. "A new national patriotic hymn!" He turned to the
piano, pounded on it triumphantly and sang in a strident
voice:
"Over where? Over where? Oh, the yanks are corning,
Over where?"
(c) Chronicle Publishing Co.
vAv
Day-care . . .
Continued from Page 4
But it could become a
featured item, even a star at-
traction, in the new flexible rr. T . ...
packages. These packages, I rafflC COSed OV 1X10,10,1
called "cafeteria plans," are
only in operation in a dozen The Northeast Radial should not be considered a dead
major corporations, but they issue. Some form of it should be implemented to ease con
are being considered by gestion on 16th and 17th streets. To ensure the safety of
many others
Under a cafeteria plan, a
worker can fill a tray of ben
efits to fit his or her own
needs from a line of options,
including everything from
vacation time to legal insur
ance to dental care.
A workirm Darent with
- J M
pedestrians, traffic should be moved away from the city
campus.
With traffic reduced on 16th and 17th, the campus will
become more attractive to students and citizens alike.
And wouldn't it be nice to make those streets into beauti
ful malls the way other streets on campus were made?
if youVe got your
health. youYe
got it all!
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With a growing enrollment, the university will need to
children, for example, might expand. It can't go west because of the 9th and 10th
be able to pick child-care re- street viaducts; downtown restricts expansion to the
- - . . . t ll . A. 1
south; and the railroad tracKs are in me way 10 me norm.
imbursement rather than,
say , vacation days, when the
kids are small.
The problem with this
transfer program is that the
carrot may not feed the same
families who are being af
fected by the stick. The Ti
tle 20 programs have been
geared to the poor.
There will be, at best, a
time lag before the effects
of the changed tax law are
felt. In the short run, there
will be a net loss in day-care
facilities.
But the new law has a po
tentially wide and beneficial
effect. In the long run, it
encourages a diverse system
under which parents can cre
ate and choose the sort of
day care they prefer at
home, family day care, day
care centers. It encourages
industry to consider that
other half of workers' lives:
home and family.
At best, if this works, it
may even protect day care,
always fragile in any war for
funding, from the ritual
beatings of the budget stick.
(c) The Boston Glob News
paper Co. Washington post
Writers Group
East is the logical direction for the campus to grow.
The city council members who voted not to remove the
Northeast Radial from the city's Comprehensive Plan
should be commended for not proceeding until a viable
alternative to move traffic northeast out of downtown is
brought forward.
Dan Vestecka
Sophomore
Accounting
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