thursday, august 27,1981
daily nebraskan
Jog or drink . . .
Continued from Page 4 '
More years of training follow. When the budding
social drinker can defend the planet Earth from hordes of
alien spaceships while under the influence of three
Johnnie Walkers and Seven-Up, he is deemed fit to meet
the ultimate challenge in holding his liquor - the Ameri
can cocktail party.
First of all, unlike the situation in the parked car, he
must hold it while standing up. Second, unlike the bar,
there is nowhere to set it down for respite. Third, unless
he wishes to be thought a dolt, he must not only stand up,
he must move about the room.
The hostess, naturally, has cleverly booby-trapped his
passage with all manner of obstacles. These indude
gesticulating guests describing the size of the salmon they
caught last month in Nova Scotia, camel-saddle stools,
house cats and what are laughingly called "cocktail
tables, all being far too crowded with platters of soggy
hors doeuvres to hold a single cocktail.
Show me a man who can negotiate such hazards for
two hours while maintaining several lively conversations
and yet spill nary a drop and 111 show you a man who can
hold his liquor. So it's little wonder that when my wife,
Clynda, asks me why we are going to this cocktail party
or that, I simply stare her in the eye and say grimly, "Be
cause It's there.
The reason I bring the matter up at this particular time
is to assure our friend Bruce that I think none the less of
him for spilling that Zinfandel on our yellow couch Fri
day night. Hes obviously only a jogger.
(c) Chronicle Publishing Co.
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