page 12
spring fashion supplement to the daily nebraskan
monday, april 6, 1981
As economy fails, people find distraction in legs
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By Pat Clark
There is an old song and dance that claims when the
economy is doing well, women's skirts get longer, and
when the economy is clunking along, women's skirts get
shorter. It should come as no surprise to you then, that
early reports indicate trendy women will be exposing
more leg this year.
I got hold of famous fashion designer Cosmo of Waver
ly for further details.
(The scene: Cosmo's shop in Waverly, I found him
back in his sewing room, stitching his designer label in a
pair of socks.)
"Designer socks?" 1 said.
"How dare you refer to these articles as socks!"
answered Cosmo. "I happen to be putting the finishing
touches on some men's anklewear."
"What's the difference?"
"Socks are two bucks a pair. Designer anklewear goes
for S8.50 a set."
overheard the conversation:
"Yeah, this is Cosmo . . .how ya' doin' Louie ... of
course I heard the Dow Jones closed over a thousand to
day, what do you think I live in a cave here or something.
Listen, 1 got a recent tip, and I want you to sell off as
much of the stock portfolio as you can. Never mind where
1 get my info, let's just say 1 know the market is set for a
dive . . . toodeloo, Louie."
Cosmo returned, not knowing I had heard everything
"Now, where were we?" he said, in an unusually civil
tone.
"I was asking you how you felt about women's
fashions as an economic barometer."
,m. .1 - nut h c:iid ' There are probably some
people who believe in that, but it's just so much hocus
pocus. Let's take this year for example. My sources in
form me that women's skirts arc going to be shorter tins
year ..." . ,
"I told you that a few minutes ago, l saiu.
"Sure you did. Well, you're a reliable source, aren t
you9 Anyway, I have no doubt that the American
economy is entering a boom period, which blows that
quack theory of yours to smithereens. Listen, you don t
mind if I get a little paperwork done while we talk, do
Continued on Page 13
humor
I looked at the socksanklewear appreciatively to
smooth Cosmo's ruffled feathers, then quickly changed
the subject.
"Cosmo, you've been in this business a long time, and
have seen a lot of different fashion trends come and go," I
said.
There's this theory . . .
"Get to the point," said Cosmo, not at all fooled by
the stuffy introduction to the topic.
"Okay. There's a theory that women's skirts get short
er in times of economic stress."
"I've heard of this theory," interrupted Cosmo.
"Do you believe in it?"
Cosmo got up from his sewing table. "Why do you
ask?" he said.
"Well, I have heard that women's skirts are going to be
shorter this year, and I wondered if there was any correla
tion between that and the economy."
Cosmo lit a cigar. "Let me point out something to you,
pal. Fashion designers are artists. We do not have any
concern whatsoever with the ebb and flow of the
economic waters. That should be obvious from the prices
we ask for our merchandise. Now as to this business of
shorter skirts . . ."
He was interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. 1
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