page 4
daily nebraskan
thursday, april 2, 1981
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Miuu
Curb Haig immediately
Secretary of State Alexander
Haig's full-steam-ahead race to ex
pand his powers should be throttled
immediately.
Haig has demonstrated by his
words and actions since the presi
dent's inauguration in January that
he is driven by a burning desire to
establish himself as an unbridled
commander of the nation. It is time
that trip to vest power in himself
comes to a screeching halt.
Haig must be tamed at once so the
nation's leaders can devote time and
energy to confronting real problems
and governing the people of the
United States. Instead, members of
Reagan's administration haw been
forced to maneuver for strategic
positions, creating unnecessary con
flicts that can only jeopardize any
hopes for effective and efficient
leadership that may exist.
The Secretary of State began
jockeying for power even before lie
officially was appointed to that post.
In fact, his attempts to claim supre
macy within the administration have
been accented by such blatant moves
he obviously is obsessed with acquir
ing power to the point where he
doesn't think it is necessary to wait
for that authority to be granted.
There doesn't seem to be any rea
son for waiting to be designated as
the nation's No. 1 person in charge
behind the president, if indeed he
would be satisfied to rank behind
Reagan. Why wait when you can just
play a game of political power grab
bag to gain authority?
Evidence of Haig's intentions to
gain power has been provided in very
obvious forms during the pas two
months.
First Haig tried to gain presiden
tial approval of a plan (Haig's plan)
to give the Secretary of State unpre
cedented command in foreign
matters. Then he caused a furor
among Reagan's top hands when he
agitated the administration by mak
ing a major issue out of the designa
tion of a person to manage the
country in a crisis situation.
He now has done it again.
He supplied more proof to the
contention he seeks to be an omni
potent Secretary of State when he
publicly announced Monday that he
was running the country after the
president was wounded in a thwarted
assassination attempt.
These power-seeking ploys cannot
be tolerated in the United States
a nation in which the government is
designed specifically to prevent un
limited authority from being given to
one branch of government, much less
to one individual who wasn't even
elected by the people.
Men become self-reliant I
Washington Single men can he path
etic when it conies to household chores.
Many young friends stand out as
vivid examples of having been over
mothered and overschoolcd. One ac
quaintance, for example, simply throws
out his dirty clothes and charges new
items on Dad's VISA card.
Tired of hciim mocked, he no longer
asks his roommate for ironing tips.
While preparing for three law firm inter
views last month, he purchased several
white, $20 shirts at Brooks Brothers and
wore a new one each da v.
Another friend can't cook eggs
without setting off the smoke alarm in
his apartment. We recently caught him
trying to jam an uncut English muffin
into one side of the toaster.
No one can expect young American
men to cook like the White House chef.
But has the nation reached new levels of
practical incompetence when one friend
asks another if it's safe to put a wooden
spoon in boiling water'.'
The younger generation's ability to
take care of itself is also dubious when
one of its members rejects a condomin
ium offer because he thinks the dish
washer is too complicated to operate.
And have you been shopping with a
young, unmarried male recently? He's
an advertiser's dream a real compulsive
buyer. He reaches for expensive, name
brand instant foods and thinks dinner
is supposed to look like the picture on
the package. He doesn't bother with
unit pricing ami still likes Twinkles at
age 25.
Fortunately lor such misfit singles,
a new magazine will hit the news stands
nex month. "New Man," a S2-monthly,
will offer its readers tips on cooking,
dating, shopping, cleaning and redecor
ating. According to its New York pub
lisher. Mark Bunnan. 37, the magazine
will be a "men's Cosmpolitan!"
"We're going after t he guy who
doesn't know what to do with the steak
he's just purchased at the market." said
Burman. who added that the magazine
wouldn't have to go far for stories. "My
editor came in the other day with a
missing button on his shirt, and he
uidn't know how to repair it. I
suggested he assign someone to write an
article" on the subject.
While even Burman concedes there
shouldn't be a need for a magazine such
as "New Man," the market seems ripe.
According to the Census Bureau,
more adult men are living alone than
ever before. They're marrying later and
divorcing more often. Not surprisingly,
"New Man" is geared to the profession
als among them.
Who knows? Maybe Mr. Burman has
found the all-purpose handbook for the
lonely bachelor at a time when every
body even preppies - seems to have
one.
Overworked wives and would-be
mates may also be compelled to sub
scribe to the magazine and stack it next
to Field and Stream.
But is a glossy magazine the answer
to burnt eggs and wrinkled shirts, or just
part of it?
Lads needn't waint until their late
20s to find out. Fathers, for example,
should be less reluctant about having
their sons learn a little "woman's
work." American families wouldn't have
to go as far as the Tahitians, who often
raise the youngest male as a houseboy.
High schools might also insist that
both sexes take home economics as a
required course. Some schools already
require such courses as early as junior
high.
Administrators might tell their more
skeptical young men students that home
economics isn't what it used to be. It's
more practical, often offering the
essentials of consumerism, nutrition,
parenthood, home finance and healthy
relationships. If they have to remove an
unappealing stigma, they might call the
course "Survival 101 ."
Indeed, learning how to take care of
ourselves isn't just a matter of good
consumerism.
Men have always fallen into marri
ages because they couldn't manage their
lives. If more capable of domestic
chores, fewer marriages might end up on
the rocks for lack of cooperation
around the house.
(c) 1981. Field Enterprises, Inc.
Allied agents help Russia
to ensure global peace
We have at hand the scenario of "To
Russia with Love," the latest spy thriller
featuring that debonair British secret
agent James (Red) Tape, or 007-! who has
a license to fold, spindle or mutilate.
The movie opens with a shot of
Wimpy 's Burger Shoppe in Picadilly,
the innocent-looking front for MI-16,
the super-hush-hush intelligence agency
whose very existence is known only to
the queen, her prime minister and film
fans the world o'er.
Tape crosses through the kitchen,
enters a microwave oven and is lifted to
the august offices of Sir Rupert Mohl,
the distinguished mastermind behind MI-16
for the past 23 years.
hoppe
Before he can enter, Sir Rupert's
secretary. Miss Phoneypenny stops him.
"How about some tea and piroshkis,
comrade?" she asks, pouring from a
samovar on her desk.
"No time, old thing," he says, quickly
making love to her. "The old boy wants
to see me on a matter of some urgency."
Sir Rupert, who is wearing a cutaway
and a decoration on his lapel, greets Tape
warmly. "James, this will be your most
important mission," he says. "We've learn
ed they have invented a paper clip that
unfolds into a laser-guided sub compact
nuclear ICBM. You must steal the plans
at all costs."
"From the Russians?" asks Tape
"Nyet,from the British."
"Nyet?"
"That's short for 'not yet,' " says Sir
Rupert. "And it shows you how much of
a hurry we're in. Go, James!"
Well, a secret's a secret in the spy hi
and Tape's job is to steal them no matter
whose they are. So he sets forth to do just
that. Along the way, he slaughters a bri
gade of Fskimo cavalry with his signet
ring, sinks the Kuwaiti navy with a well
placed karate chop and wrestles a rabid
hippopotamus while sipping from a dry
martini in his left hand.
This brings him to a chandelier lugh
above the U.N. Security Council wlicre he
is making love to the beautiful Russ rn
agent, Pushy Galore. "Oh. James." she
moans; "I love you and I am defecting.
But there is one thing you must know.
Someone high up in Ml-16 has been
slipping your secrets to my superiors
for 23 years."
James vows to tell Sir Rupert at once.
But as he approaches him, he notes there
is a spot of borsch on Sir Rupert's tie
and the decoration on his lapel is actually
a button saying, "I Love Vladivostok."
Sir Rupert is the double agent!
"Actually, old boy," says Sir Rupert,
"everyone in MI-16 but you is a double
agent. Our job is to give the Russians
all the secrets of the allies in order to en
sure world peace."
"I don't understand," says Tape.
"Look here, James," says Sir Rupert,
"when it comes to bundling a nuclear
attack, do you want the suspicious Rus
sians basing their decisions on our authenti
cated top-secret secrets or on the public
statements of General Haig?"
Tape thinks for a moment and then
extends his hand. "Put her there, tova
iich," he says.
(c) Chronicle Publishing Co. 1981
nebraskan
UPSP 144-080
Editor Kathy Chenault. Managing Editor
Tom Mc Neil. News editor Vil Swmton, Associ
ate news editors Diane Andersen, Steve Miller.
Assistant news editor Bob Lannm, Night news
editor Kathy Stokebrand Magame editor Mary
Kempkes. Entertainment editor Casey McCabe.
Sports editor Larry Sparks. Art director Dave
Lutbke; Photography chief Mark Billmgsley.
Assistant photography chief Mitih Hrdlicka.
Editorial page assistant Tom Prentiss
Copy editors Mike Bartels. Sue Brown, Pat
Clark, Nancy Ellis. Dan Epp, Beth Headnck,
Maureen Hutfless, Al.ce Hrmcek, Jeanne Mohatt,
Janice Piqaga. Tncia Waters
Business manager Anne Shank Production
manager Kitty Policky Advert ,smq manager
Art K Small. Assistant advertising manager Jeff
P.ke.
Publications Board chairman Mark Bowen,
4 730212 Professional adviser Don Walton
473 73C1
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