page 6
daily nebraskan
tuesday, march 3, 1981
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Years take fun out of annoyance phone calls
By T. Marni Vos
Annoyance calls: Intentional annoyance of another by
telephone is prohibited by law. The maximum penalty for
violation is a fine of $100 or 90 days imprisonment or
both.
As a child of 11 or 12, exciting weekends usually in
cluded the company of your best friend on a Friday night.
If rain hampered us from going to the club house ( a con
verted tool shed that dominated the south corner of the
backyard) the next best things to do were:
humor
1. Blow your allowance on "mass quantities" of
sweets.
2. Wait for Creature Feature to come on.
3. Make prank phone calls.
Umbergers, a mortuary on North 48th, was one of the
first to "bite the dust." . . .
"Umbergers"
"Yea, ah, we're from outta' town and my mom wanted
me to call and order a couple of umbergers with fries to
go-"
"I think you are mistaken. Umbergers is a mortuary."
"Oh, ah . . . mom says to hold the pickles." Click.
We never forgot to ask if a drug store had Prince Albert
in ;i can or if there wasn't a Tom Wall or a Bill Wall, in
Now Accepting
Applications for the
Position of
1981-1982
Advertising Director.
It's not easy, but you'll gain rewarding
experience in organizing and leading a
department of over 15 persons. This is
an eleven month position commensurate
with University holidays and with one
month off during the summer. Ad
vertising and Marketing majors are esp
ecially encouraged to apply.
Applicants should be familiar with the
Guidelines for the Student Press adopted
by the Board of Regents, and copies will
be rrfade available at the Daily Nebras
kan. Applications should be returned to
the Daily Nebraskan, Room 34, Nebras
ka Union. Application deadline is Mon
day, March 9, at noon.
fact, if there were no Walls at a particular residence what
was holding up the roof. Lndlcss evening of laughter.
Today, the club house is gone. Creature Feature is an
absolute last resort and prank phone calls, somewhere in
the years, have turned on me.
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SHOWING QUALIT
ADULT FILMS
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OPEN 10 A M
CONTINUOUS
SHOWINGS
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"Vos's residence, Marni speaking."
"Is this Marni Vos?"
"Nope, I think you have the wrong number. What
exactly did you dial?"
"Are you a virgin?"
"Oh crap ... Is this KLMS trivia? I always listen and
wouldn't you know it, the minute my batteries run down
you guys call. What was the question?"
"Are you a virgin?"
"Right. OK. Don't tell me. Hold on OK? Hey, hey
mom, am I a virgin?"
"No honey, you are a Gemini."
"Hello? The answer to your question is no. Do I win?"
(breath breath breath)
"Hello?"
(More breath breath breath)
"Hey, hey mom, do we know anyone with asthma?"
"Your Uncle William had asthma but he's dead. Whom
are you talking to?"
"Mom, I think Uncle William was faking it."
"Marni, are you talking to the breather?"
"Hey, look, I know it's your life but if I were you I'd
cut back on cigarettes and call 911 as soon as we say
good-bye."
(breath breath breath)
"I'm sorry, could you breathe a little louder, I have to
vacuum."
"Marni, hang up that phone, you're just encouraging
him."
"Hey look, we're expecting this phone call from KLMS
so maybe we could continue this conversation some other
time. What are you doing in '84?"
"Are you a virgin?"
"Gemini, G-e-m-i-n-i. But listen, I think I know who
you want to talk to. Nici's a Virgo. Nicolette, it's tor
you."
Hannah's book jumps time,
presents war adventures
By Pat Higgins
Ray, By Barry Hannah.
Knoph Books, New York,
l()S0, 113 pages.
Leaving aside the obvious
snobbery, there is. I hope, a
good deal of truth contain
ed in this statement. Ray is
a serious work of art that is
! 1 J i
)( review
:wo mat iib 6o4?.-
i i u
"Barry Hannah is the
newest 'in' writer for the
literary upper classes, a rip
oste, as it were, to Tom
Robbins. Hannah's function
is to renew contact between
literary intellectuals and the
sweaty college-undergraduate
masses," said Elliott Fremont-Smith
of the Village
Voice.
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very entertaining but ulti
mately puzzling, much in
the same manner of Thomas
Pynchon in (rarity's Rain
bow. Hannah is being lionized
coast to coast as the hottest
young novelist around. The
jacket blurb from Phillip
Roth (no slouch himself)
says: "Hannah is a young
writer as true and original
as any writing fiction to
day." The American
Academy of Arts and
Ixtters recently honored
Hannah for achievement in
fiction: Ray is up for this
year's National Book
Award.
Ray is a short, t hough t
provoking. novel that is
basically the musings and re
collections of a 33-year-old
ACTORS AND ACTRESSES NEEDED! !
, a
for audio rprorriinn of B
3 -.
the University of Mid America s Parent Education Television Script
tw.vu rer ran
Try outs are Tuesday, March 3, 3:00-7:00 f.m.
3rd floor-Terminal BuEiy-tOth mi "0" Streets
474-2300 ext. 291
1 Must ba fiv&il&Ua I'eiia&bv. March 4th ni Trunin
B 1 j,
I March 5th cerJnas, for record.
3 a
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9
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douglns 3
nth X. (' W!, ?? j;.'!
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5:30 7:30 9 30
AIERD
STATES s
5:20-7:25 9 30
5:25-7:35-9:45
ORDINARY
PEOPLE (R)
Nominated for 6
Academy Award
Ni3lk 5stf
Alabama doctor named
Ray. His surname is never
mentioned. Ray's main con
cerns are poetry. se.
medicine, ami war,, lie com
ments on each of these in a
quite telling fashion. There
are a variety of other char
acters here: his Tuscaloosa
neighbors, the Hooches,
who appear to be the quint
essential poor Southern
whites but with some odd
twists.
The Patriarch of the clan
is an unemployed deadbcat
who somehow manages to
write brilliant poetry. His
daughter is well on her way
to being a country singer
until violence in the form of
a Baptist minister interiors.
There also is a steady stream
of patients for the good
doctor to heal and a variety
of willing nurses, but Ray is
chiefly concerned with Ray
himself speaking from the
heart.
Ray also jumps about m
time, changing suddenly
Irom modern-day Alabama
to tales of Vietnam battles
as a pilot to strange South
ern ancestral memories of
the Civil War where Ray is
riding with Job Smart.
In his descriptions of
war. Hannah is making the
same observathm as did
Hemingway and more re
cently. Michael llerr in )
imhes. War is hell, but it
sure is an exciting adventure
at the same time. It is diffi
cult to determine what the
point ol the Civil Wai scenes
are unless it is an obtuse
comment on Vietnam.
. Ray is worthwhile but
difficult reading. It is a seri
ous attempt at art rather
than the cotton candy prose
of people like Tom
Robbins. Hannah is definite
ly on to something here that
is worth investigating.