The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, February 24, 1981, Page page 5, Image 5
tuesday, february 24, 1981 daily nebraskan page 5 Reagan goes underground to solve his troubles A HCWS item OUt ()f New Dchli Imlin nmnrt n 11, year-old Indian yogi named Yogiraj S.K.D. (full name: Swami Shankaranand Keshavanaml Dandhiehi) has writ ten to President Reagan offering to bury himself for 300 hours in a sealed pit anywhere in Ameriea and then emerge at the White House. The Yogi hopes to demon strate the way to eternal bliss through the feat dark (The Scene: The White House. It is early evening and a helicopter has just landed on the White House lawn A trio of Secret Service officials meets the helicopter and ushers a thin, elderly man into the White House. The elderly man is Yogiraj S.K.B., and has been brought to The White House for a conference with President Rea gan.) "Welcome to America:' says the president warmly offering his outstretched hand in greeting. "You must have received my letter," says the yogi. "That I did, that I did " says the president. "Three hundred hours in a hole in the ground? That's a long time. One of my aides divided it out, and it comes to 2 days." "I am sure I can do it. Anyone could do it who was truly in search of eternal bliss," says the yogi. Reagan reaches into a bowl on the coffee table to grab a handful of jellybeans, then thinks better of it . "I was glad to hear you just say that last part," Reagan says. "The 'eternal bliss' part?" says the yogi. "No, the 'anyone can do it' part. That is why you are here." "You want me to do the feat, then?" "You're close," says Reagan. "I want me to do the feat, and you are going to teach me how to do it. What tya' use, some kind of hidden snorkel or something?'' "No tricks," says the yogi, "just years of study. May I ask you why you would like to do the feat yourself?" "Well, let me tell you," says Reagan. "A lot of things can happen in 300 hours. The Reds could invade Poland, the liberal Congressmen could start organizing their argu ments against my budget proposals, Chrysler could go down for the count again, gas prices could go up another dime or so. . ." "I'm starting to get your drift," says the Yogi. "You would like to learn my techniques as a way from running from your problems." "That seems like the way to eternal bliss in my book," says the president. "The way I figure it, if I can get David Stockman to do my budget-slashing for me, and get George Bush to go around getting popular support for the program, and get Alexander Haig to do my saber-rattling at the Russians for me, I can slip into a sealed pit for a 300-hour vacation and nobody will notice." to the editor It is truly sad when an individual feels the need to seek recompense for a decision which was arrived at by a group of hisher peers in a completely unbiased judicial system. We have one such person in our midst-a candidate for ASUN president. Diane Walkowiak seems to feel this need. I do not believe it is necessary for me to give testimony concerning Josh McDowell's visit to campus last year. As an independent candidate and one who personally dis agreed with the student court's decision in said case,-Walk-owiak's motives become clear. Not only does this candidate wish to abolish the stu dent court, but she has also called it "nothing but a play ground for law students." Why don't we carry this logic one step farther and abolish the U.S. Supreme Court because some of their decisions were not liked by some? After all, our U.S. judicial system is nothing but a playground for experi enced lawyers to act out their legal whims and fantasies. Indeed, it should be replaced by a board of 12 people with the chairman acting as a presidential lobbyist. Vengence against a student institution which deliver ed a decision with which she disagreed seems to be the strongest plank in this candidate's platform. The evidence is before you, and it demands a verdict! Scott Persson, Junior, Computer Science The Daily Nebraskan encourages brief letters to the editor from all readers and interested others. Letters will be selected for publi cation on the basis of clarity, origin ality, timeliness and space available in the newspaper. Letters sent to the newspaper for publication become the property of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be returned. The Daily Nebraskan reserves the right to edit and condense all letters submitted. Readers are also welcome to sub mit material as guest opinions, sub ject to the editor's decision to print or not to print the material, either as a letter or as a guest opinion. Anonymous submission will not be considered for publication, and requests to withhold names will be granted only in exceptional citcumstanccs. Submit all material to the Daily Nebraskan. Room 34, Nebraska Union, 1400 R St.. Lincoln. Neb. 68588. We've been helping veterans since World War I. We understand your problems, and we're here to help always without charge and no matter what our discharge circumstances were. We can show you how to obtain all the benefits due you and help you tile the necessarv applications. We can till you in on community services and programs available to y ou. And we're seeking community support for improved veter ans' services. We've changed a lot in the 100 y ears since we started. But our desire to help vets is one thing that has never changed, and never will. Red Cross: Ready for a new century. Sjk! A Public Service of This Newspaper & The Advertising Council nrcnon INTERNATIONAL CAREER? ,-. I he 1'.' ' I "I I TIKSDW !.i;ni .'. , 19S1 advanced sti.dy a' AMERICAN GRADUATE SCHOOL and job opportunities ,n the field of INTERNATIONAL MANAGEMENT Interviews ma be scheduled at CAHKKK PLXNNING & PI.ACKMKNT CKNTKK AMERICAN GRAOUAII SCHOOL OF INTERNATIONAL MANAGEMENT Thunderbird Cimput Glendile, Ariiona 85306 "Well, I suppose that would be one way to get the government off the backs of the people for awhile," says the yogi. "I knew you'd see it my way," says the president. "When do we get started with the lessons?" "Not so fast," says the yogi. "It's one thing to lie in Ihe ground for 12 days, but there's a second part to the trick." "Oh, I know about that one," says the president. They bury you alive, and 12 days later you emerge at the White House. That's no problem. I already did that last November." Justice: Myth or Reality Dr. Gennaro F. Vrto, Professor of Criminal Justice at Temple University, will lecture Wed., Feb. 25th at 12:30 p.m. Rostrum room in the Union. lecture free of charge Sponsored by the Dept. of Criminal Justice MAKE IT j MAKE IT m WITH DJ3MM TEQUILA How Featuring Tuesday Night at the Movies 7th & P Tonight's Double Feature "10" Yh Inios Starts at 8:89 nd II Tlw only two place in Lincoln where someone cares more about (jour good looks than you . . . El Tow and El Tow IL both at 13th and "P". Professional Barber Stylists TOMT HlTI fCfW Douglas III Bldg.. 13th & "P" 1'&UJ U UiLLfti 477-9555 or 477-5221 for appt. r.m:, U,5 fWa Park & Shop - Bank Cards too. rQUJilj UQir UGifior The most romantic purchase of your life should also be a most knowledgeable one. Mtfs JEWELERS The Bright Idea" 13th & P St. Lincoln Nebraska 68508 i I