page 4
monday, September 8, 1980
daily nebraskan
State's
dedication to NU is needed.
The university system will ask
state government for an 18 percent
increase in tax support for 1981-82,
a request sure to put fire under the
abundant number of fiscal con
servatives in the state."
Gov. Charles Thone is, by virtue
of his veto power and wide support,
the leader of thse low-spending
fans. A troubled economy, rampant
inflation and a mood conducive to
tax relief strenghten Thone's
position.
Clearly, NU administrators have a
task cut out for them in convincing
the state that 18 percent is not a friv
olous request - that the state must
commit itself fully to the finest
institution of higher education it has,
namely UNL, complimented by the
other parts of the NU system.
Post-holocaust
life crawls with
roaches, KKK
Word is out? the final confrontation will not be therm
onuclear warfare between the United States and the
Soviet Union. Armageddon will have survivors, we know
now, and they will come in two species: cockroaches and
Kansmen.
We know that the cockroaches will survive because
they have a good track record with nuclear test sites. On
Pacific islands that have been bombed day-glo magenta
with nuclear tests there still are cockroaches scurrying
around looking for food. Shine a flashlight at night and
the whole island would hide behind a kitchen cabinet.
Mushrooms and mushroom clouds are equally palatable to
these folks.
It seems unnecessary to enumerate
the contributions this unversity
makes to the state in terms of
research, technology, continuing
education, teacher education,
culture and entertainment. Even the
staunchest hold-the-line-at-7 -percent
fanatics realize these contributions.
Yet they seem to think that a
university can continue to offer
quality education at a low cost if
the state increases financing only 7
percent.
Times are hard, they argue, and
the university has no more right to
tax money than any other agency.
We agree that times are hard. But
the university, because of its vital
mission, must be given the support
required to keep it from slipping into
deep mediocrity. Faculty pay, which
is shamefully low for an institution
of this status, must be increased in
order to ensure that the young
people of Nebraska can be well
educated old people. Books alone do
not do the trick.
Research grants from the federal
government must be maintained and
increased, but many such grants re
quire locally-generated matching
funds. This area perhaps provides the
clearest benefit to the state, since
much of NU's research is agriculture
or health related.
Those who argue for 7 percent in
creases in state support of NU say
programs should be cut, classes made
larger, positions eliminated. We agree
that NU has waste that should be
ferreted out efficiently and quickly.
Much progress has been made
already.
But we cannot wait for stream
lined bureaucracy before commiting
ourselves to fine higher education in
Nebraska.
The students are paying ever
higher tuition bills, and the NU
Foundation is constatly seeking out
side support.
These two areas must contribute
more and more if quality is to im
prove. But the state, which created
this university in its constitution, has
the same obligation, in trumps.
Quality faculty and administrators
will bring grants and donations to
NU. Neither can be obtained unless
the state shows it is dedicated to
something in addition to building an
ever-better football team.
imz,
o
Then there are the Klansmen. Thanks to Dan Gearino,
a reporter with the Flint (Mich.) Journal, we know that
the Klansmen plan to survive the holocaust by means of
home-made bomb shelters and stored provisions, with
the ultimate goal of installing a racist government in
America after the holocaust. While the Klansmen may be
going to great lengths to prepare for their conquest, I
don't think the cockroaches will give up very easily.
The year is 1989. At the bombed-out remains of the
Camp Daivd presidential retreat, two coachroaches are
slurping grease from the surface of an old conference
table. One of them is wearing a conventioneer's identifi
cation tag that says, "Hello, my name is Jeff." He, like
the other one, is about two feet long and has grown 14
new legs since the bombing. The other one is wearing
a little key chain -sized replica of a New. York Yankees
baseball cap and answers to the name Michelle.
Enter the Klansmen, led by the Grand Imperial Wizard
himself, in a very snappy and martial-looking phalanx
formation.
"Look, it's humans!" says Jeff, nudging Michelle with
five elbows.
"Hey, it is," she responds, then crawls over to the edge
of the table to address the Klansmen. "There's plenty of
u
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Publications Board chairman: Mark Bowen, 475-1081. Pro
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ters, except during vacations.
Address: Daily Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 14th and R
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Second class postage paid at Lincoln, Neb., 68510.
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grease to go around," she says. "You guys are welcome to
join us if you like."
24 hours to leave
"We are not interested in eating grease with roaches,"
says the Imperial Wizard. "We are here to claim this build
ing as the meeting room for the Central Committee of the
Invisible Empire of America, and to inform you that,
because you are the last surviving creatures other than
ourselves on this continent, we are giving you 24 hours
to leave before we exterminate you."
Jeff, who was trying to clean the grease off one of his
antennae, looked up nonchalantly and said, "Exterminate,
huh. You guys Orkin men?"
"Very funny," said the Imperial Wizard, "but we'll see
who laughs tomorrow when the massed might of the
Knights of the Ku Klux Klan swoops down on you
vermin."
"Oh, if you're looking for Vermin, he's out of town
this weekend," said Michelle. "If you want to leave a
message here I'm sure he'll get it when he gets back."
KKK means business
The Imperial Wizard stepped forward, looking directly
at the faces of the two cockroaches. "Now look, I'm not
going to explain again that the KKK means business.
We're going to kill you if you don't get out."
"Oh yeah; how you gonna do that?" said Michelle,
suddenly growing defiant.
"The KKK is strong. We number in the thousands."
"Har-dee-har-har. The cockroaches number in the
trillions, at least."
"Every Klansman is equipped with a Colt AR-15
assault rifle, and has been trained in guerrilla warfare.
We will gladly use them."
"For every .bullet in every rifle you have," counter
ed Jeff," there probably are 4,000 roaches in this area
along, and each of them has been equipped with the
capacity to reproduce thousands more. And we gladly
will."
"OK, I didn't say it was going to be easy," said the
Grand Imperial Wizard, "but this is a fight to the finish,
and if there's anybody in the world that can beat the
cockroaches at their own game, it's the Kmghts of the
Ku Klux Klan."
I am supporting Ronald Reagan for president, which
probably makes you think I'm either insane or at least
slightly looney. However, I just wanted to let you know
that I am tired of your one-sided editorials that constantly
denounce the former governor of California.
This doesn't mean I'm against fair criticism. What I'm
asking is this: Is Carter so perfect that you have nothing
negative to say about him? Is Reagan so imperfect that
nothing positive can be said about him? Why don't you
take a close look at the polls?
Reagan has led by substantial margins in the polls now
for months. His lead over Carter in Nebraska is particular
ly large. No, Tm not implying that this means he is the
better candidate for president. What it does mean is that
there are more people who approve of Reagan, and more
people who disapprove of Carter. I would simply like the
Daily Nebraskan to occasionally allow both sides of the
issue to be focused on.
As to the business about the Klan. I noticed many
Democrats in the media telling us that Reagan is a dubious
choice for president because the Klan had endorsed him!
Now I have heard that the Grand Imperial Wizard, or
whatever they call him, says that Reagan had not been en
dorsed by the Klan.
The Democrats are capable of cheap shots too.
TomShelton
Journalism
Freshamn
Editor's note: Earlier this summer Reagan repudiated a
Klan endorsement of his candidacy. The endorsement
may not have represented each KKK chapter's preference.
Continued on Page 5
