daily nebraskan
P2S3 1 1
thursday, October 18, 1979
Eating...
Continued from Page 10
Which brings up an important point. There are some
foods you must never, never eat at least not in public.
They are: peanut butter, tacos, pizzas, hot dogs.hoagies,
fried chicken and (shudder) hamburgers.
"Theses disgusting substances are too cheap, too
tawdry, too tasty to be taken seriously (or internally) by
the socially-galloping gourmet.
"On the other hand, certain delicacies are absolute
musts. These we will discuss in more detail. '
'THERE IS one primary rule: no matter what else
you order, have it with a bottle of Perrier Water. Perhaps
you've heard that it's only a bland, overpriced serving of
fizzy mineral water. Only a peasant would say that. We all
know what Perrier is really about, don't we? Think of it a
bottled status, carbonated pretension.
"With regard to other beverages, drink wine whenever
possible, but if you must drink beer make sure that it's
imported, dark, and tastes like the bottom inch or two
from an old rainbarrel. Anything else won't do; make that
clear by sneering at all other suggestions.
"In choosing wine, always ask for a list, always imply
that nothing on it pleases you, and always ask about the
house wine, at which you must sigh heavily, roll your
eyes, and moan, "Dear me, you're serving that?" Then ask
for a bottle of it and make a great show of sniffing the
cork and sending it back two or three times (or maybe
five or six for good measure). This will establish your
credentials as a wine, expert, even though you've never
UNL music school to present
the classic musical 'Carousel'
taken a sip.
"NOW YOU ARE ready to order dinner. This is your
big test, and by following these simple guidelines, you will
pass with flying colors (though not necessarily a happy
tummy).
"Whenever possible, order something with a 'q in its
name, like quiche or squabs or coq au vin. This is the
surest sign that you have arrived, for at McDonald's there
are no 'q foods.
"Offered vegetables, opt for an artichoke. It wiii be
very pretty, very chic, and possibly very edible.
"Eat the bread only if it is stiff and dry. Soft mushy
bread is for soft mushy people who listen to their mouths
and let common cuisine stifle their careers. You must at
all times Eat to Be Neat.
'THE VERY best food is slimy, expensive, ang
generally resembles something that would make you
scream if you found it lurking in your shoe when you
went to put it on. Uncooked, exotic invertebrates are the
quintessence of fine dining and image-consciousness;
anyone can tell, just be looking, that you wouldn't eat
such things unless your image mattered more to you than
even the lining of your stomach.-If you aren't suffering
nausea at the mere mention of your entree, send it back.
' "In food, as in fashion, discomfort is the hallmark of
the elite. It is the price you pay to join the inner circle.
Eating a plateful of what the lower classes would mistake
for garbage simply shows that you have a more delicate,
refined palate than anyone else and are thereby a better,
worthier human being.
"Remember, you are what you eat. A raw oyster
doesn't just make you sick it makes you pearls.
Well, that's enough of Chapter 1 . If you like this book,
you'll love my other one, Writing Your Own Check: How
to be Sitccessfal and Happy by Writing Books A bout How
to be Sttccessjitl and Happy featuring contributions from
Dr. Joyce Brothers, Wayne Dyer, and a host of
others all yours for only $26.95. Then you'll know
what we success-book writers know: There's one born
every minute; Success, I mean.
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0 E IT I Pi Ml NICI Ei J S E R A
The hit broadway musical "Carousel,"
will be presented by UNL's School of
Music, Oct. 24-27 at 8 p.m, and at 3 p.m.
Oct. 28v in Kimball Recital Hall.
"Carousel," one of Rodgers and
llammerstein's most successful and triunv
phant musicals, brought international
acclaim to this adaptation of Molnar's
"Liliom" with a story and music unique to
the Broadway state. Songs like "June is
Bustin' Out All Over," "If 1 Loved You,"
and "You'll Never Walk' Alone," have made
"Carousel" a classic within the world of
musical theater,
The story of "Carousel" revolves around
a love affair between Billy Bigelow, the
carousel barker, and Julie Jordan, a factory
worker.
Behind-the-scenes talents include Stage
Director Terry L. Flatt and Music Director
and Conductor Richard M, Grace, Bernie
Wolff handles ' the' set design and "the
choreogrpahy will be created by, Gayle
Kassing,
Tickets for "Carousel" are available at
the Kimball Box Office and . cost S3 for
students and senior citizens, jmd $4 for
"others.'" 5 r " - - ' "'
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12th and P" St. 477-1234
Starts FRIDAY
'Sparkling! The French have done it again,
Diane Kurvs has performed a small miracle."
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HOWELL THEATRE GROUP RATES AVAILABLE
12 and R Street A UNIVERSITY
Lincoln, Nebr, THEATRE PRODUCTION
of mm
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ADULTS
$4.00
ADMISSIONS
(all prices include tax)
NOW
OCTOBER 19 & 20
OCTOBER 23 thru 27
CURTAIN at 8:00
STUDENTS $3.00
v - and Sen Cits,
O TV- I Jo
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Free Shoiving!
Speakers Spaces
A 20-minute multimedia pre:
sentation that could change the
entire way you think about
stereo. A question and answer
period led by a qualified stereo
specialist follows the
presentation. iffi!!SZFr
Multimedia Prcccntetlon Schedule:
DATE: Oct. 1Cth & IC'Ji Thurs. & Friday
TIME: 11-6 p.m.
Ct
127Co.1CIh
(' Dllc. So. of 1CUi & 'O' Ct.)
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Super Savings Limited at these Prices.
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Prices G:cd Thru Oct ::Ji.
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JUL.