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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 8, 1979)
monday, October 8,1079 daily nebraskan page 7 UNL Men's Support Group liberating macho image By Nancy Brumbaugh ' "Every man ought to be a macho man, to live a life of freedom, machos make a stand, have their own style and Ideals, possess the strength and confidence, life's a steal, you can best believe he's a macho man, he's a fecial person In anybody i land, " -ung by Th Villaga Ptopl, Wordi and muitc by I Morall, H. Dtlolo, V. Willis and f, Whltahtad. The macho man. The burly object of female adoration. The Invincible pillar of itrength. Unemotional. Domineer lng. Alwayi In control. There is a crowing number of men in the United States who believe the macho man image is a suffocating stereo type. Books and articles are being written, conferences are being held, consciousness-raising groups are being formed to discuss the problem of stereotyping. It's akin to the women's movement, a kind of men's liberation. Roger Day, member of the Men's Support Group at UNL, said of the group, "We don't necessarily see ours selves as men's liberationists. Men's movement might be a better term." "We get together to share common concerns," Day said. He said they discussed what they thought were "the changing issues, relationships between men and women, and society's expectations of men ." DAY, WHO is a full-time student at UNL, mentioned some of the standards that society sets for men. He said there is the "expectation that men are always responsible for supporting the family" and the "idea of always being in control." He also said that society expected men to be "unemotional." There are other Nebraska men who are concerned with stereotypes. "I think that men need to look at some of the stereo types that have bound them," said Bruce Berggren, minister at the Lutheran Student Center on the city campus. 'There are a lot of stereotypes that I grew up with that 1 hope my sons won't have to grow up with." Tim Watt man, Parish Pastor in Benedict and Polk, Neb., named what he thought were the two basic stereo types, the "John Wayne style" and the "sensitive man style." Wattmari described the "John Wayne" type as the strong, tough man, and the "sensitive man" as the roman tic lover type. Berggren said ho grew up in a "pre-liberation period," and was brought up with stereotypes. He added that he was told, "Young man, do you know that you will be responsible for raising your family? That will be your male responsibility in the world, to be the breadwinner in the family." CHANGES HAVE occurred in Berggren's thinking. "I have learned to let a woman open a door for me and not feel apologetic," he said. Berggren said that at home he feels "comfortable accepting some of the responsibility that was once a woman's job " He mentioned different household chores, such as doing dishes. "I came out of the old school, but I appreci ate ... changes," he said. Wattman laid that his experience was different, in that the women's lib movement was prevalent when he was in his teens. "I grew up in a period of liberation," he said. "I had to find a way to live honestly with myself with these changes." Wattman said that the key to freeing himself of the stereotypes was to discover his strengths and weaknesses. "Liberation is the acceptance of strength and weakness in you, finding the balance that is you, and expecting that the balance will change " Wattman said. Wattman said that tne acceptance of weaknesses would allow men to talk openly with other people, freeing them selves from the belief that men should always be strong. "Our oppression is strength and superiority," he said. "The goal of liberation for me is mutal Interdependence. That is impossible when we're caught up in our weak nesses and false strengths. That means being honest." IT IS DIFFICULT for men to talk to other men, Watt man added. "It's very hard to get men together. He cited the fear of being labelled a homosexual as one reason, and the fear of admitting weaknesses as another. Berggren agreed that It was difficult for men to talk about their problems. "I see more women In my office because there is more permission for women to share the pain in their life than for men," Berggren said. The purpose of the Men's Support Group is to help men learn to talk to each other, Day say. He added their goal is to "break down barriers, to be friends at a deeper level than a slap on the back." "Having close male friendships is important to me," Day said. "It's really satisfying to have supportive male friends." "It's neat to share with men and not be thought of as weak or a homosexual," Berggren said. He said that he appreciated being able to "share with men what was once the place for women." Berggren said he thought changes were needed in the way some males and females view each other. He said that looking at the opposite sex primarily as a sexual object was harmful to human relationships. "In i sense, male and female have been dehumanized," he said. 'The minute I make you into an object, you are not human." DAY SAID he saw a need for an "increasing role of the father in parenting. I don't want to be the stereotyped father." He said that fathers who say 'There's a baby in the house. That's the woman's job" are missing Important experiences. "I don't think that's rightihe said. It's real important to change the way we handle our families," Day added. Berggren said he wanted men to evaluate the stereo, type roles they are placed in "so they can develop healthy relationships with both men and women. In the long run. you end up feeling better about yourself as a person." As a minister. Berggren said that he was interested in the issue of men s role in society because "it's part of our goal to help people achieve wholeness." Wattman said, "I'm a minister. 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