Summer Nebraskan, Thursday, August 2, 1979 Page 5
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By Gordono Johnflush
If plans to place the new Alumni Association Center in
front of Nebraska Union go ahead, UNL may see an in
crease in insanity, a health official said Tuesday.
Ronald Mortz, head of the student health center said
removal of the 180 parking meters would be cruel and
unusual punishment to UNL faculty. '
The Alumni Association has asked for approval of a plan
which would call for the removal of a metered parking lot
in front of the union to accommodate a new Alumni
Association Center.
According to Mortz, if the plans go through, the univer
sity can expect to have a higher rate of absenteeism of
both faculty and students.
People expect to be able to drive up to the door step of
their classes and Offices, Mortz said.
"It will drive them crazy if they can't drive as close this
year as they did last year," Mort2 said.
However, Mort2 said the problem may not be so severe
if we have a mild winter. Most people can take walking a
little further in warm weather than in cold he said. If cold
weather sets in rapidly the people won't tolerate it, he
said.
Mortz said he has heard of and read of other examples of
insanity caused by too much walking.
The signs to watch for he said are a listlessness in the
quite people and histrionics in the more outspoken seg
ment of the student body and faculty.
The true danger sign comes when one can be seen driv
ing around the campus lor hours looking for a place to
park.
The only Way to cure these people he said is to install a
parking meter in the front o! their homes. This gives the
; afflicted person a sense of security.
"He knows he will always have a slot to park in, unless of
course a visitor takes his stall," Mortz said.
To help solve the problem before it reaches epidemic
proportions, Mort2 suggested that parking meters be In
stalled on the classroom desks.
"This way the university should make a tidy sum and the
students and faculty will have their meters," he said.
Parking meter loss
is insanity - doctor
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Meter mania- the wave of the future?
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You guys are great
Dear Summer Nebraskan Staff,
We think you all are wonderful, charm
ing, witty, intelligent, perfect, and all
around "good kids."
Love,
Your mothers
I want a grade too
I am writing to complain about the
grading procedure at UNL. If President
Nixnox can get & B in tape erasing, I
should be awarded at .least a C in tape
cleaning it's just not fair.
; ; . Jimmy Cartery.
Manson Wants degree
If President Nixnox gets an honorary
degree I think I should get one too.
- , y ' Charles Manson
Dicky not crook
But Charles - ''I am not a crook." 4
'-i - -w 'l Tricky Dick, .
Fire Gp!
Dear editor, ' x "
This is the 100th letter IVe written to
you requesting the resignation of Basket
ball Coach Jloe Cipionomo.,What are you
doing in that office? - - - 5
: - AlHcGuire
Tent great; idea - '.
' ' C " '.- " .r""' t
I just want to let you know 1 think the
idea of building mew stadium using a cir
cus tent is a grand idea. On the third
Saturday of every month three rings could
be brought in to hold the board of rodents
meetings. .. . . -:- ' - -
Make money too
To pay for the rings, lights, and camera
crews we could charge admission or set up
some kind of side show. We can show other
universities how to make some real
money.
Howard H.
Slush fund
I attended the Bored of Rodents
meeting last weekend and was shocked to
hear that Bob Deloney was heading up the
slush fund at Oklahoma State. Will that
have any effect on the outcome of tJNL's
Basketball game against Oklahoma State?
Could they be bucking for our position of
7th in the Big Eight? And does Coach i
pionomo really , have & patent on orange
blazers?
John Smith
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Book idea
I have a great idea for a book. It will be
called "Fear and Loathing on University
Campuses." The plot will deal with rising
tuition and fees and the plight of a poor
student trying to get an education.
Interested? Let me know.
Splinter Thompson
How high for tuition?
I think the book idea is an excellent one,
but just how high should we raise tuition
and tees?
NU Board of Bodents
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P,T. Barnum-.