daily nebraskan
frWay, march .10, 1979
Ufffe OHG?G&lDftlOuDDiG
Eubanks digs in dirty laundry
ptgo 12
to expose newlywed's capers
By Mary Fastenau
If you are taking courses in the, college.,
of life, the final exam in marriage class is to
appear on the Newfywed Game.
Friendship, courtship, love and marriage
are just quizzes to prepare you for the final
in public embarrassment. To pass this test,
you must memorize your notes on intimate '
moments and come prepared to complete
ly explain them.
a n
a a
FGUEGUJ
Bob Eubanks, the host, administers the
test each time, and it does not make any
difference on which day you take it, be
cause he uses exactly the same format and
directions each toe " -y-
His invisible teaching assistant, the voice,
of Johnny Jacobs, adds variety.by sharing
new products, such as Rice-a-Roni and
Swanson TV dinners, with the runners-up
in the Newly wed Game."
Eubanks and Jacobs must think they
have found the formula for success as they
repeat the same lines on every game vary
ing the names of the couples and the pro
ducts being advertised, ; '
Fast talkers
In tKeir role as test instructors, they
must' have note cards filled with the num
ber of words that precisely fit the allotted
time because. they both talk at a rate which
must be near the speedof sound, and they
never even pause for a breath or a comma
oraiaughorthetlndofaWhtehce. '
The difficulty of the test is based on the
ability of the students. This is the reason
that Eubanks asks such difficult, mind
boggling questions as "Does your husband
prefer his hot chocolate with or without
marshmallows?" or "How many closets are
in your house or apartment?"
Every show contains at least one quest
ion designed to make the women turn red,
allow the men to put on their macho acts
and justify Eubanks' quota of raunchy
jokes.
A typical "written to embarrass" quest-
Fantasia appeals
ionwould be "Where was the first place
'.you made love that was much more trouble
Jthan Jt,was worth?" Answers to this type
of question reflect the mentality of the
participants.
For example, Lee, half man, half ape
with a bushy beard and broken Southern
drawl answered with "In the van, man,'
while Craig, complete with glasses that
look like the bottom of pop bottles and
the worldliness of a 12-year-old answered
"A motel in Santa Maria, because it was so
cold."
Another example of an intimate quest
ion is, "What two different letters of the
alphabet look the most like you and your
husband when you make love?"
It is inquiries like these that get the
expected reactions from the couples.
To the viewers, there is no logical reason
for any answer, but the love bugs seem to
share some personal joke that makes any
answer uproariously funny or totally
humiliating.
1 Loving responses
These questions also get the typical love
and kisses response The way some lot the
couples carry on, it would appear that this
might be the first time .they have ever
agreed on anything, and they're delimited
it is being covered on national television.
.- The couple's reactions to the questions
must be considered in the final grade of the
marriage class because their actions all
1 into obvious categories.
; kites' "A's" would have to toraig
with his pop bottle glasses and Karen, who.
admits she resembles Totie Fields When
they answer a question correctry Criug '
wraps his arm (or as much of it as will '
reach) around his honey and gives her a big
kiss. Karen's reaction is a sixth grade giggle
and an exclamatipn,yOhy I can't.telLiny
mother when this is 'going to be played."
A "B" would go to Jim and Joanne.
This couple does well because they really
dress for the part. Jim appears to have
borrowed Jerry Reed's clothes, hair and
vocabulary for the show while Joanne has
solicited her clothes and answers from the
instruction guide on how to be a sex
symbol. Too many examples of sick humor
exclude them from the "A" category.
to young
7 f jy
Michael and Carol miss a lot of answers,
but still pass the test because they look so
much alike. Both need to have a chat with
their .-local orthodonist ; and accumulate
aaUorjtpibefore they have kids so
Kthey can pay for their offsprings' dental
work.
Their teeth get in the -way of their kiss
ing responses, but they still pass the test
because Carol "admits that Michael's sister,
set them up because she thought her"
brother was "a little funny."
Many couples fail the test and the view
er wonders if their final grade will be
spelled D-I-V-O-R-C-E. A classic example
of this would be Sam and Adelle.
Sam and Adelle come dressed in blue
and prepared for Weight Watchers, but that
is where the similarities end. There are
harsh words and disagreement after every
question. In 30 minutes they argue about
swimming, finances, her mother, her tennis
playing and hot chocolate. Vi ,
He insists she looks like a "duck playing
tennis" and she retaliates by refusing to
play the kiss and hug game, even when
they get an answer right. In cases like this,
it could be the court judge who gives the
final grade.
There are many couples that give
glimpses of being "A" students, but then
ruin their average with a kiss that hits the
eye or a small temper outburst. No matter
how they are graded, they remain 4manied
nrAt ainVtt cTivt mxntfe " At laorf tit it is
the way they are supposed to remain.
Maybe Bob Eubanks had better thank
of another show. How about the Divorce
Game?
atJieart
By Kent Wameke
Everyone wants to be young at heart, but only the
children have it easy.
Senior citizens, middle-aged parents, college students
and everyone else all fondly look back on their childhood
days and remember the gaiety that filled their fives, but
only thechildreriexperfenceif. ;
"Fantasia 1979" is for the young at heart, whether
children or adult. It is a film festival, a magic show, a
puppet show, a ballet, a mime and face painting all
wrapped into a week of activities for the Lincoln
community.
Tim Ryan, managing director of the Lincoln Commun
ity Playhouse, the sponsor of fantasia 1979" said, "It's
been a week of a lot of enjoyment for lads of all ages and
older individuals" .
This is the first yearfor "Fantasia 1979 and the Com
munity Playhouse hopes to use it to increase Lincoln's
awareness of the need for additional activities for children
and youth. ' :
Not soliciting
."We're not actively soliciting people during these activi
ties, but we do have a mobile up snowing what still needs
to be done for die children's wing and we're hoping that
this will draw attention to it," Ryan said."
" Children's Theatre has been in existence almost as long
- as the Playhouse in one form or another, but the plans for
a children wing has only been in the making for five
JTuH concert atXJNL
v Tickets wiU go on sale Monday, morning for the
Jethro TuU concert April 21.
The concert will be at the Bob Devaxiey Sports Center.
I Tlcketsvare available. the center afte lQ.axn.
Monday or at any cf the Urandels'stfcrn in:Iincc!a or T'--t frsni tfS cbiArrjnity and school systems to mike it
"Right now, we've got the exterior shell, a roof on the
building and the basic lighting," Ryan said. "But we still
need so many other things like heating, plumbing, stage
floor among others.
"WeVfe set the i beginning of May of this year as our
date for when all the funds have hopefully been contri
buted "Ryan said. v
According to, Ryan, the highlight of me week is the
Playhouse's own production of Tom Sawyer, a musical by
Sara Spencer; featuring, the escapades of all of the wild
and humorous Mark Twain characters.
Own production
; TTom Sawyer is really excting for us because it's our
own product and it took the most work and from the
look of ticket sales. I think well have a good audience,''
Ryan said. . ' : -fit
L.Tne original version of The Invasion of the Body
ncken, V 3 Dieys The Rescuers, A Connecticut
Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Pinocciuo and The Point
are the films featured during the week.
A puppet show by Maralyn Ryan, a face painting
session by Marie Muffley where, you can become your
favorite character throui the magic of makeup, a series
of mime sketches by Craig Lowe and a magic performance
and workshop by. GregEbe'rt also are featured this week.
Wve had:r big"crowd" for all of the performances,
more than we expected," Ryan said. "In fact the puppet
show drew 207 people and we didn't even have enough
chairs." , , V : " ' .
4Tl ;Connriun lias supported this week's activities
and people have begun to realize that there is a need for
a children's wing, she said.
Bqwerer; even if the. Playhouse receives all of the
contributions they are hoping for, that does not mean the
endbfrFahtssla 'y,
. ' n ihik weM have 'fantasia next year,?. Ryan said.
Th!i year'itwai rnostfy , us deciding whatwe thougit
wou.4 wcjk: : but :cext.year,we would want a. lot more
. Photo by Ury Ao.it Coloa
Chris Sayrs, a Tnwnber of the Irish band
Paddywhack, wa perform at Jesse's 14th
Street vLtmnjs Friday from 4 to 6 pjn.
1;
V i V.W i fir-"-