page 4
daily nebraskan
friday, february 16, 1979
(jG?M
HQ
Digging for dirt at capitol turns up
'trivial9 debate over Holdrege soil
By Randy Essex
I'm not one of those journalists who digs for dirt, but
I do keep an eye out. And the first subject I will deal with
today is, without doubt, one of the dirtiest ever to come
out of Nebraska's capitol.
Do you have a favorite kind of dirt? Probably not, but
Nebraska could have a state soil soon, if a bill introduced
by Aurora Sen. Maurice Kremer is passed.
LB475, which would establish Holdrege soil as the
state's official soil, met with no opposition during its com
mittee hearing last week. Kremer wants Holdrege soil to
join the cottonwood tree, the meadowlark, goldenrod and
blue agate as one of those tilings in nature recognized by
the state as official.
Kremer told the committee his favorite soil is among
the most productive types in the state. He added that
there is no Holdrege soil in his legislative district.
Interesting tidbits of information came out during the
bill's hearing. The soil is named after the place where it
was first mapped in 1915. There are more than 200 kinds
of soil in the state, too.
Coining words
Soil classifiers have run out of names for the con
stantly increasing new kinds of soil, so they have had to
start coining words.
Such legislation is not without cost, according to South
Sioux City Sen. John Murphy. Calling the bill needless,
Murphy pointed out that it costs money to print the bill,
to write it into the statutes and to advertise its public
hearing.
I wonder if property value will increase for farms abun
dant with Holdrege soil if the bill passes? And I wonder if
certain parts of the state, which lack the soil, will demand
that the state ship some official soil to them?
A more serious matter to be heard by a committee this
week was Murphy's Legislative Resolution 5, which would
allow the governor to appoint a new lieutenant governor
should the holder of that office die or become unable to
serve.
The state constitution prohibits the Legislature or the
governor from filling such a vacancy.
Full-time job
Murphy said that since lieutenant governor has become
a full-time job, a replacement would be needed in the
event of a vacancy.
"It seems impossible that we need to enact this now
because of an omission," Murphy said.
But Murphy shouldn't be too embarrassed for the state
because drafters of the U.S. Constitution made the same
omission with regard to the vice president.
Only after John Kennedy's assassination did Congress
realize the error. Gerald Ford was the first vice president
named under the 25th amendment. Nelson Rocke
feller was the second.
Just think, if Congress had not spotted the error, the
country would have been left without a Gerald Ford to
assume the presidency when what's-his-name (I just can't
type that name) resigned under pressure.
The Legislature, in addition to dealing with trivial and
significant matters this week, managed to turn an
apparently trivial matter into one of major significance.
Penalties
Floor debate carried over into a second day on a bill
introduced by the education committee that would clarify
penalties for driving a school bus that is not owned by a
school district if the bus is still painted yellow andor
still equipped with a stop arm.
Education Committee Chairman Gerald Koch argued
that a penalty has to be levied on the driver of such a bus,
but Omaha Sen. Ernie Chambers disagreed.
Chambers said the owner of the bus should be liable,
not the driver. Amendments to the bill were introduced,
debated and defeated, including one amendment to es
tablish a specific color for the buses.
Included in the debate was the all-important question
"Would the private owner of the bus have to paint the
entire thing, or could he stay within the law by just paint
ing a stripe around it?"
Chambers was successful in his move to send the bill
back to the committee for further discussion with school
officials.
Neutral Senate
is big 'cop out'
to constituents
The politics of talking a lot and doing very
little may have reached a pinnacle at ASUN's
meeting Wednesday night.
After discussion which criticized the lack of
student participation in preparations for Par
ent's Day, scheduled later this spring, the
ASUN Senate voted to delete lines of a resolu
tion which would have backed up the rhetoric
by stating ASUN would not support the event.
The deletion was made in order to avoid
taking a stand, according to Sen. Bruce
Kendall, who initiated the effort to strike the
language from the bill.
It would seem ASUN's action runs contrary
to the principles upon which it is established,
the principles of representative government.
Senators are elected to take stands, to
represent the thousands of students on both
campuses by using the large amount of infor
mation available to them to decide what is best
for the students.
If the Senate was not prepared to take a
stand on the issue as Kendall maintains, the
resolution could have been tabled, returned to
committee or simply held until their next
meeting.
First Vice President Bob Moodie was
precisely on target when he said the Senate
would look "rather wishy-washy" if it took no
stand on this issue.
Rather than exercising prudence by not
taking a stand, ASUN abrogated one of its pri
mary responsibilities, that of acting as a rep
resentative student government.
It is hoped that such "cop-out," to use
the vernacular, will not occur again. If ASUN is
to be viewed as a competent, credible organiza
tion, it must be prepared to take stands on
controversial issues rather than debating them
and hiding behind an irresponsible shield of
neutrality.
L. Kent Wolgamott
White-bodiedflier reminisces over air travel torments
Some people are white-knuckle fliers. From the
moment they strap themselves into their seats to the time
they find their feet set firmly back on the ground, they
cling to things.
The white-knuckle fliers make up the majority of peo
ple who find flying a bit hard on the nerves. Then there
are the people like me.
mason
I'm a white-body flier. Next to me, a white-knuckle
flier looks like Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Napo
leon and Patton all rolled into one. I don't just grip the
arms of my seat with my hands, I grip the floor with my
toes and the seat in front of me with my teeth. I grip
anything that's nailed down with every available append
age of my body. By the time I step off a plane I feel like
I've been in an isometrics marathon.
The only thing groundless about my fear is the fact
that when I'm at the height of it, there is no ground to be
seen for at least 40,000 feet.
Let us consider for a moment, the mechanics of flight.
Take, for example, the 727, a medium-size commercial
jet. I don't know the exact figure, but I'll wager it weighs
several hundred tons. Several hundred tons!
Now come on. Who's trying to kid whom? Nothing
that heavy can fly! Certainly not for very long. The way
I look at it, the airlines have just had an incredible string
of luck. Those things are being held up there by hope
alone. Someday, somebody is going to realize that
flying something that big is impossible. They're going
to start dropping like stones.
I remember my last flight like it was yesterday. The
stewardesses (all five of them) held me down and buckled
my seatbelt. Boy. some of those stews are strong!
Fit to be tied
The plane taxied into take-off position. My moaning
was disconcerting to many of the passengers and they
bitterly complained. They should have considered them
selves lucky. Had the stewardesses not gagged me with my
own tie, I would have been screaming.
The plane was given clearance and began its take-oft.
My legs stiffened with such force that my shoes flew off
and sailed several seats behind me. The plane attained suf
ficient speed for flight and the landing gear was retracted.
I ate the tie .
Usually at this point of flight I begin screaming but this
time no sound came out. It's hard to scream when your
heart is in your mouth. For those of you who are interes
ted, your heart. feels a lot like a soft croquette ball, with
tentacles.
. Thirty minutes into the flight I found myself relaxed
enough to release my grip from around the neck of the fat
lady in the next seat. Fortunately it took only a few
minutes for the crew to revive her.
Booze blues
At 30.000 feet the stewardesses began making their
rounds with the booze cart. I ordered three fifth of bour
bon but was informed there was a limit of three drinks.
I spent the next hour trying to find a doctor or a nurse on
board, someone who would lend me a hypodermic syringe
so I could mainline the three pitiful little bottles of Jim
Beam into the large vein in my neck. I had no luck so I
downed them straight.
Hie next hour was spent trying to keep my tongue
from falling in my lap. Twice, when we hit air pockets. I
nearly bit it of!. The fat lady had long since regained con
sciousness and sat at the ready, brandishing an 1 1-inJi hat
pin upon which she promised she would skewer my
internal organs upon like so much shishkabob if I so
much as blinked.
When the pilot announced we were descending to pre
pare for landing. I assumed the fetal position ai.J began
reciting my 'landing prayer."
"Oh. Lord, oh help, oh I.ordy Ijordy. help. help, oh
oh me. oh me. oh I.ordy Lordy. help. help. help. . ."
Pretty catchy, isn't it .' I made it up myself.
I don't remember the landing. Witnesses later reported
that I suddenly turned into a thick, yellow liquid and
trickled out of my seat. I had to be carried off the plane
in a bucket T this day I have a hard time making a fist.
