page 2
wedding supplement to the daily nebraskan
monday, february 5, 1979
from ' '
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Church views reflect extremes
By Cathy Higgins
In today's changing society, a reli
gious wedding ceremony can be as old
fashioned or as inventive as a couple wants.
These extremes are demonstrated by the
attitudes on marriage by three Lincoln
religious groups: the Roman Catholic
Church, the United Methodist Church, and
the Unitarian Church.
Julius Tvrdy, assistant priest at the Sa
cred Heart Catholic Church, 3128 South
St., said the Catholic doctrine requires a
more strict view on marriage than other
churches.
"The church views marriage as a sacra
ment, a life-long commitment," Tvrdy said.
"It is not something to be taken lightly."
More lenient
Clarence McConkey, minister of the
Calvary United Methodist Church, 1601 S.
11 St., said his church's views on marriage
are more lenient than many churches.
"What goes into a marriage is pretty
basic, regardless of age, marital experience
or atmosphere," McConkey said.
Charles Stephen, minister of the Uni
tarian Church. 6300 A St., said that his
church's outlook on marriage is very
liberal.
"It is their (the couple's) wedding, not
mine," Stephen said. "They should have
the right to have the ceremony conducted
in the manner that they choose."
All three clergymen said the majority
of the couples they marry are young and
of mixed religious backgrounds.
"At least one of the two must be a
member of this congregation and a practic
ing Catholic," Tvrdy said, adding that the
couple is required to attend six sessions
with the priest before the ceremony.
Serious sessions
"The nature of the sessions are quite
serious, not a nice social chit-chat." he
said. "It is my personal feeling that I
should ask about issues that parents and
friends might not have the freedom to ask
about. It can be embarrassing asking a gal
if she's pregnant or having difficulties at
home, but these questions need to be
asked."
Tvrdy added that the majority of teen
age weddings end in divorce.
"I lay it out straight," he said. "I want
them to know what the chances are of a
bad marriage."
Like the Catholic church, the Methodist
church also have sessions with the couple
before the wedding, except that only three
are held and they are optional.
The Unitarian Church also holds
sessions before weddings. Stephen said he
generally meets twice with a couple before
the ceremony.
"The first session is long," he said. "1
want to get to know a couple before I
marry them. Most of them have been
living together; I want to know how that
has gone and what problems have arisen."
Stephen said the second session is short
and is held a few days before the wedding.
"I strongly encourage the couple to
write their own wedding vows, and during
this (second) session, I go over with them
what they have written," he said.
Outside weddings
Both McConkey and Stephen said they
encourage and enjoy weddings outside the
church building.
"I love to perform weddings in homes
and outdoors," McConkey said. "The God
factor is still in marriage, regardless of
locale."
Stephen said he has performed weddings
in parks, on golf courses and at docks.
"Those sunrise weddings at Holme's
Park get me up pretty early, but they are
very meaningful to the couple," he said.
Stephen said one reason marriage inside
the church building is not necessary is be
cause 90 percent of the couples he marries
are not members of the Unitarian Church.
"My role is as a facilitator among people
who want to be married in a religious set
ting," he said. "They come here to find a
community that will accept them-the di
vorced, the liberal, the church that has no
creed. It is a place where people of diverse
religious backgrounds can compromise."
Inside weddings
On the other hand, the Catholic doc
trine requires that marriages take place in
side the church building.
"It's a good rule," Tvrdy said. "It's
hard to maintain a prayerful atmosphere in
a wedding. There is so much attention paid
to the flowers and gowns. We want to im
press that there is more to this whole thing
that the pageantry attached to it."
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Lower Level 464-7737
