page 8
daily nebraskan Christmas supplement
friday, december 8, 1978
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Radio Control & Slot Cars
N-HO-0 Gauge Trains
Wargames And
Fantasy
Weekly D & D
Campaigns
Miniature Game Tables
Open Sunday
HOLHWGIFT IDEAS
IT Serving the
& University
II r
XL mmunny
s& mm
mm 1 1 1 1 1 1 I ii I
GREAT RACE &
HOBBY PLACE
1517 North Cotner
ELEGANT FLORAL
ARRANGEMENTS
i.9fcL Exquisitely designed in many
prices to fit the occasion
FRUIT BASKETS
A welcomed addition to
anyone's holiday. Luscious
fruits and gourmet items.
1200 "N" Street
Lower Level,
Atrium
4746938
(we send flowers worldwide)
Gift Ideas Galore From Your Holiday Savings Store
sin
miauiruc
GUNNY'S COMPLEX 245 North 1 3th Street
I ,w)J
What's soft and
warm and great
fashion for
Christmas?
HOLIDAY
SWEATERS
12.99 to 14.99
Regularly $18.00 to $26.00
A little imagination adds a lot
of pizzaz to our new selection
of dressy pastel and lurex
striped sweaters Sizes
S-M-L. Richly textured acrylic
in embroidered, crocheted
and pointelle styles
Cynic wets down Santa myth
By Michael Zangari
Cynicism before the age of five can be
brought on by a virtual universe full of un
settling discoveries and confusion. For the
logical minded infant, having your
nay-nays and poo-poo rudely pointed out
and named is one step below an unfortun
ate early encounter with the neighbors dog.
Bad toilet training from an unqualified
faculty is rather silly, as is being force-fed
stewed prunes by a person who is making
airplane noises and elaborate acrobatics
with a spoon.
Perhaps the crudest indignity of them
all is being conned into believing that there
is a jolly fat man who loves people so much
that once a year he breaks into everybody's
house and deposits gifts to the deserving,
without wanting anything in return. The
only prerequisites are that you are a good
boy or girl, and have money.
First of all, even the Tooth Fairy
demands a tooth before she coughs up the
geld. Something for nothing is the Great
American myth. You may have already
won! Poof!
Secondly, being a "good" boy or girl
becomes a negative factor when it is used
to coerce you into giving grandma a kiss.
I guess I got hip to the scam early.
Initially, I of course was open to persuas
ion. I accepted without any detailed cross
examination that Santa Claus was the man
with cotton glued to his face and a pillow
up his shirt. Being a fairly liberal kid I
didn't question his deviant life style or his
taste in clothing. I didn't even belabor the
fact that the man moved with incredible
agility from store to store, or that he laugh
ed like an idiot while stretching out his
syllables to ridiculous lengths-ie7777777
Christmasssssss. So did W.C. Fields.
All this I could accept, after all, he was
the man with the goods. Even at a base
level, for two minutes of fiegned shyness,
the sucker gave you a sucker.
Meanwhile the rumors about the man
grew" . . ."He knows when you are sleeping,
he knows when you're awake . . ." "He's
keeping a list and he's checking it twice
. . ." If he meddled in South American
politics he'd be with the CIA. If all that
wasn't enough, he even knew about your
personal life-whether you'd been good or
bad. This was always followed by the
formidable warning, "So be good for
goodness sake!" (which always struck me
as a stupid reason for being good.)
With that sort of power, I couldn't help
but be in awe, who was this man? That
bubble shattered quickly during my second
year on his lap.
This man who supposedly knew every
time I played doctor and wrote it down
this man who actually cared if I ate my
peas or not, asked me a question he should
have never asked.
"And what's your name little boy?"
I was in a state of shock.
Shock moved quickly to anger. He cared
about my peas, but not me. My name! I
even told him what it was the year before.
My name!
"Come on, don't be shy, what's your
name?"
The fat poo -poo head! I was too angry
for words, so at the tender age of 4Vi 1 dis
covered civil disobedience. It was a wet but
totally appropriate comment. One I've
been tempted to repeat many times in my
life. I peed on his lap.
He was less than pleased.
I raised a clenched fist (with extended
thumb) and jammed it into my mouth and
walked.
My parents weren't going to get off the
hook for this one. "Fraud!" my silence
cried. Spinach isn't good for you! I didn't
come from my mommy's tummy! I won't
grow up and be big someday! I'll always be
small and victimized. But no more lies will
I take. I'm going to pee on the world!
Like the gas I obtained from dinner that
night, my anger passed. Christmas came
and I got what I asked for- a Lone Ranger
suit. But there were no illusions, I knew
where it came from, and it made me
happy.
Mom and Dad didn't always know what
games I played behind the trash cans or
with who, but they knew my name.
18 M
l cO Better than fu::v lippers, J J
Better than arjvle Mcks, g
S.- Remember the feet ot the tolk you loe, (f j
ff O With a pair ot Birkentoeks. &'
Gift certificates available at
Tbotlooge C&cFancyr
1219 P St RamparkBldg. 432-6119