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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 13, 1978)
monday, november 13, 1978 daily nebraskan page 5 oped UNL affairs need athletic efficiency With Nebraska's remarkable victory over Oklahoma Saturday, the supremacy and efficiency of the UNL Ath letic Department has clearly been established. Therefore, permit ffie to submit a modest proposal: namely, that the Athletic Department be given total control over all university affairs. There are those, of course, who will disagree with me on the grounds that it already has such control, but since no one has listened to those dissenters for decades, neither will I. michael gibson Actually, my proposal would benefit all involved, especially faculty and students. For example, Nebraskans are outraged whenever the Cornhusker football team ranks second in Big Eight standards. Undoubtedly, they would be equally livid when they learned that the Cornhusker faculty team now ranks not second, not third, but seventh in Big Eight standards for teachers' salaries. Who knows? With incentives similar to that given to football walk-ons, perhaps outstanding professors would start coming to UNL as walk-ons themselves, instead of leaving campus as quickly as Richard Berns takes off to wards the goal line. Athletic Department control would also improve the quality of the UNL student body. In no time at all, the public would be equally perturbed when we failed to sign the state's leading ACT scorer as when we missed catching the state's leading high school rusher. Student representation on the Board of Regents would also be strengthened. It's not that hard tosay "no" to any ASUN president, but what regent would disagree with Student Regent (at 6'4", 225 lbs., Defensive Team Captain) George Andrews? Furthermore, UNL's academic programs would no longer have any trouble receiving attention from the regents. After all, if naming the Sports Center after Bob "Devaney was considered an "emergency item" at Friday's regents meeting, just think of what attention the Business College (which has had to turn away students for lack of teachers) could receive under the Athletic Director's care. My proposal might also rescue the College of Engineer ing which, according to unviersity administrators, is suf fering from a severe shortage of teachers and a strained budget. Ever hear of a football team suffering from a lack of coaches? Once the additional funding for academics began to flow, Nebraskans, of course, would require it be used wisely. The football team, for example, evaluates its players after each game, and their grades are published in the newspaper. With the Athletic Department running the University, it would not be long before fans began receiving the same public grading of university staff and faculty. I can see it now: letters to the editor urging that Pro fessor A.B. be moved up to full tenure, or Visiting Instruc tor X be given a Blackshirt. My proposal does have a few minor problems. There will surely be a few misguided souls who believe that a university is a place for higher education, not higher ratings in the AP Top Twenty, and so will object. Given an Orange Bowl victory or two, however, the world will take little note and not long remember what they say. Of course, my proposal will receive numerous court challenges. But I think distribution of a few seats on the fifty-yard line will clear up any supposed claims of violating separation of church and state. In the end, I think my proposal is worthy of consideration and adoption. Perhaps then my hoped-for bachelor of arts degree will be worth as much on the black market as my season football ticket. 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