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daily nebraskan
page 13
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Wednesday, September 20, 1978
Parents can prevent
pangs of loneliness
Many college freshman may not want to admit to
homesickness, but most face real bouts with loneliness
during their first year away from home, according to
studies done by two UNL faculty members.
Dr. John Woodward, associate dean of UNL's College
of Home Economics, said college freshman are among the
loneliest of all societal groups.
Woodward said he found that college students reported
more experiences with loneliness than the elderly, house
wives, divorced or widowed persons. Only high school
seniors were found to be lonlier. And as a group, girls
were loneliest of all, he said.
"We can only speculate why college students are more
lonely than other groups measured," Woodward said.
"But during the college years, students are confronted
with many uncertain questions about life."
"Many students are miles away from the security of
home and secure interpersonal relationships," Woodward
said. "They are involved In making decisions concerning
their future occupations, marital choices, philosophical
concepts, goals and other important issues in their
personal lives."
Parents can not prevent their offspring away from
home from feeling lonely or homesick, but they can pro
vide an important support system, according to Ron Daly,
Institute of Agriculture and Natural Resources Extension
family life specialist.
"Students entering college face three issues," he said.
"The need to be included, the need to have some control
over the circumstances they find themselves in and the
need for affection. Parents can't do anything about the
first two, but they can help with number three."
Keeping the lines of communication open can help
bridge the separation and also give students "something
they can hang on to," Daly said.
"It's easy to feel lost in college, and young people need
to know their parents are still concerned, still interested
ind still there."
Woodward said his study of lineliness revealed that stu
dents who reported close family relationshops were signi
ficantly less lonely than those who reported distant family
relationships.
Although a lot will depend on the relationship
established during the 18 years before a child left home,
Daly said parents should maintain contact and support
th.ough regular telephone conversations, letters or notes
and occasional visits. Providing some pre-stamped,
addressed cards or approving a long-distance phone call
every week or so may help, he said.
"And do some special, unexpected things like dropping
a note with a $5 bill inside and telling them to treat them
selves to lunch," he said.
Visits home or visits to the campus can be good, but
they should not be overdone by either party, Daly said. It
is not a good idea for students to make the trip home
every weekend, for example, since they need to become
involved in campus life, he said.
"If they are home all the time, it can become a
dependency relationship," Daly said.
Parents who decide on a campus visit should also take
care not to drop in without notice, Daly said.
Daly also said that parents can become "too nosy" or
put too much pressure on a college student to succeed.
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