fiction
hair tonic 1897
9
by jim kay
ramps and the rest, that is, all his
friends, used to sit on the back porch and
blow smoke rings. Some would just sit and
spit on account they couldn't smoke no
more. Had to chew.
Conversation would slide by me as I was
a sittin' there on the floor. Slide by like a
slow movin' train way into the black of
night -till Maw come and drug me off to
say my prayers. Didn't tell no one, but I
could lie there in bed and still hear the
voices a risin' and fallin' and a laugh would
float by my window now and again. Old
Bucky's high whinny laugh and a little bit
underneath it would be Cooney's bass-like
chuckles. And the others, too.
Women is supposed to be the talkers but
don't never believe it. An old man is the
best talker on earth. It's the best thing he
can do when he reaches 80 or 90 or more.
He could tell you to the very hour about
Jim Ramsey finally breaking that old gray
in '02. Couldn't 'tell you what he had for
dinner though. Unless he looked at his shirt
or his chin.
"What was the name of that feller that
come through sellin' hair tonic about the
time old Wilson sold his place the first
time?"
"Bout '97?"
"Nope. Not '97. More like '95."
" 95?"
"Yup. It's when old Wilson first sold his
place."
a
aw. comes a third voice. Jia
Wilson first sold in '97 cos' it happened
same time my Caroline birthed the twins."
" '97?"
movie theatre
(only in the movie theatre)
i tried these elegant words out
one night
and they blew all over the room
and hit me in the face
so I guess it's no use or it's pretty funny
trying to act like everything is supposed
to work out like a screenwriter's script.
I decided that if someone were to put my life
on the movie screen,
many parts would be boring and some parts would be
funny and then sometimes my vains would bleed
in dispair.
It is no good for the soul to be happy all the time.
You need a little pepper with your salt.
cindy coglianese
three o'clock
three o'clock goes one log after another
i have
to stop this
(but i'm just having the time!)
all those other
words and pages
are waiting
for me
to attention them.
for a
i am an addict
new word.
i am tired of
all this
conventional
(shit)
they
are forcing
down
my head . . .
making me an illiterate
nit-wit
know-it-all.
i'm stoned cold
on page
398
(can't go on,
can't go on)
cindy coglianese
"Yup."
"Zat so?"
"I'd bet my teeth on it."
"You ain't got any."
"Then I'd bet these here in my pocket."
"What the hell you got 'em in your
pocket for?"
"Can't chew proper when they in my
mouth."
"What you chew now, anyway?"
"Red man."
"Hoowee. No wonder yor breath always
smell so bad."
"Dickerson!" would come another
voice.
"How's that?"
"Dickerson 's the feller that come
through sellin' hair tonic in "95."
'Then too?"
"Nope. Just 97. Anyways he weren't
the feller."
"He weren't?"
I lope. Dickerson's the feller that
come through sellin' bath perfume in '98."
"Smelled the same as hair tonic."
"Tasted the same too."
Short pause
"How's that?"
"I says it tasted the same too."
"Lord, Clooney. No wonder your teeth
fell out like they did."
"Luckier still they didn't grow no hair,
Clooney."
"Hell that stuff didn't never grow hair
on no one. My Paw was rubbin' his head
daily and it never did him no good."
"Helped Trie chickens though."
"How's that Bucky?"
"Hair tonic helped the chickens. Used
to put it in the feed and they'd lay bigger
eggs."
"Stop it. Your curlin' my toes with
them lies."
"That's sworn truth!"
"Danielson!" came the fourth voice
again.
"How's that?"
"Danielson 's the feller that come
through selling' hair tonic in '95."
" 97 "
"Nope, weren't Danielson neither."
-"What'd he sell?"
"Nuthin'. Except his sister to old Tom
Gregory."
"Sol' his own sister?"
u
lup. Worked out though cos' she
and old Tom got hitched. Moved up there
north of the canyon and had a whole
wagon load of kids."
Short pause
"Say whatever become of old Tom."
"Wife shot him."
"How's that?"
"Yup. Took old Hickory Johnson's
shotgun and blooey. Here tell it they had
to bury old Tom in six different parts of
the country."
"That was a fine piece old Hickory
Johnson had."
" 'Cept Hickory's so blind he couldn't
never use it. Use to wear them funny specs
"Bifocals."
"How's that?"
"I says theys called bifocals."
"Zat so?"
"Bet my teeth on it."
"Don't start that again."
"DAVIDSON!" came the voice again.
"Davisson?"
"No, no. Davidson. Davidson's the feUa
that comes through sellin hair tonic in
95."
Short pause
"Yup. It was Davidson aw right."
"Why 'dja wanna know?"
"How's that?"
"I say why 'dja wanna knew?"
"No partickuler reason. Just wonder
in'" Then Gramps and the rest would all lean
back in their chairs on the back porch and
blow smoke rings. And there was voices as
I fell asleep.
"Poor Davidson."
"How's that0"
"Bald as an acorn, weren't he0"
page 8
fathom
friday, September 8, 1978