page 10
daily nebraskan
friday, march 3, 1978
U
Basketball success results from devilish encounter
We've been pondering and thinking and
contemplating and pondering again.
What magical change came over Joe
Cipriano's UNL basketball program this
season to make them such a success? What
mystic potion made people suddenly start
cheering Terry Novak's every move? What
magic wand was waved in order to induce
such talented freshmen to come to this
campus?
Then it came to us (In a flash that
happened, coincidentally, during a
Vincent Price movie).
iim
kaymccartruj
mike
Cip has sold his soul to the devil.
Poor Joe was so desperate. He wanted
a winner so badly.
Visages of Adolph Rupp and Phog Allen
looked down at Cip from their spots in
heaven.
"No Joe. Don't do it," they moaned.
The words fell on deaf ears. Tempta
tion reared its ugly head and Cip picked
up the phone.
"Mr. Lucifer?" he asked with quivering
voice.
"One moment please," came the secre
tary's reply. "He's on another line with
Idi Amin."
There was a short pause.
"Yes, Mr. Cipriano. I've been expecting
your call."
"You have?" said Cip.
"You bet," said the devil. "For a hell
of a long time."
"That's very funny," said Cip. "Then
you probably also know I need a small
favor."
"There is no such thing as a small
favor as far as I'm concerned, Joe ol'
boy. This is strictly a one-shot deal. How
bad do you want it?"
"Awfully bad," said Cip. "I need a
20-game win season so bad 1 can taste it.
Please, can you help me?"
"Oh Joe, Joe. It ain't so easy."
"It isn't."
"Oh my stars, no. Why the paper work
alone is staggering. And what you're asking
for Joe. I mean I've had some toughies
before but geez, this is a lulu."
"It is? Well, maybe we better forget it
then."
"No, no, no. Well work something out.
'Can't' never made it up the hill you know.
But in one year. This could take till..."
"Hell freezes over."
"Hey that's pretty good, Joe. 1 like
that. You could fit right in down here.
Now let's get to the business at hand.
What exactly will you need?"
"Well I could use some bench strength.
Maybe some big freshmen with a couple of
ball-handlers."
"Done. What else?"
"A big season for Terry Novak and
Curt Hedberg. Local boys and all, you
know."
"Gotcha. What else?"
"Well maybe a super season for Brian
Banks. You know, injury-free, improved
defense. Maybe even All-Big Eight, huh?
How about that?"
"You don't pull any punches do you,
Joe boy? OK, one All-Big Eight season
for Banks. Anything else?"
"Yes. Keep the fans off my back,
will you? I mean they're nice and Big Red
and all that, but they're so damn fickle.
Just pacify them for awhile, okay?"
"OK Joe, but 1 think I ought to warn
you that you're getting in pretty deep."
"Oh, I know. But 1 want it so bad."
"How about the Big Eight Champion
ship, Joe?"
"No I don't think so. People might
get suspicious. Just get us the home court
advantage for the opening round of the
playoffs."
"Sure that's all?"
"Well, maybe a win over Kansas would
be nice. I'd love to put Teddy Owens in
his place."
"That's more like it."
"Uh, Mr. Lucifer?"
"Yes, Joe I know. How much is this
gonna cost, right?"
"Yeah. I guess I've kind of run the
gambit, huh?"
"You bet your sneakers you have. Just
a minute. I'll have to get out the calcula
tor." "Oh, God."
"No, it's out of His hands, I'm afraid.
Let's see. That comes to about, hmmmm.
357 years."
"WhAT?"
"Look, Joe. I'm a busy man. If you
don't like it, talk to the freaks in the
halos."
"No, no. Don't hang up. I'll do it.
When do I sign?"
"The papers will be on your desk in
the morning."
"OK. Well thanks, I guess."
"Hey Joe, don't mention it. It's gonna
be one fine season. Enjoy it while you can.
Bye-bye."
"So long," said Cip as he hung up the
phone. "What the hell," he thought.
4What's 357 years in the life of a basket
ball coach anyway? At least there won't
be any referees down there."
UNL-MU match is a toss up in Big Eight tournament
f XT H.V5-3I
UNL basketball coach Joe Cipriano will
take his most victorious team against the
Missouri Tigers in the semifinals of the Big
Eight Conference Tournament in Kansas
City, Friday.
Friday's UNL-MU matchup will be be
tween two teams each having won one of
the previous meetings this year.
UNL. 21-6 on the season and 9-5 in Big
Eight play, defeated the Tigers 56-55 in
Lincoln, however MU. 1 2-1 5 on the year
and 4-10 in conference play, walloped
UNL 74-52 in Columbia.
"The papers, called Missouri's win at
Iowa State an upset, but it really didn't
surprise me. because when Missouri is on.
they can play with anybody,'" Cipriano
said. "They proved that by beating us by
22 points at Columbia.
"I hope that game is on our minds and
that revenge is in our eyes. Wc know what
Missouri can do to us. so we'll just have to
be more ready this time than the last .'"
UNL's chances to make NCAA or Nat -'
tional Invitational Tournament ride on the
outcome of the Big Eight Tournament.
The only way the Tigers can advance to
tournament action is to win the Big Eight
Tournament. The tournament winner ad
vances to the NCAA first-round games at
Wichita, Kan.
"The postseason tourney looks good to
us this year because it gives us something
to shoot for at this point in the year,"
Tiger Coach Norm Stewart said. "Even
though we haven't had a great deal of suc
cess the last few weeks, this gives us a
chance to turn things around."
The Tigers have won only three of their
last 10 games.
"We've discovered that we are not a
team that is able to make a large number of
turnovers or have a poor shot selection unci
still win basketball games," Stewart said.
MU is led by senior forward Clay John
son averaging more than 16 points and se
ven rebounds a game.
Other Tiger starters include Brad Droy.
averaging ll.S points at forward, center
Stan Ray. guards Larry Drew, averaging
12.S points and Jeff Currie.
Continued on page 1 1 .
-sports
shorts
Photo by Bob f earon
UNL center Carl McPipe, shown here in Tuesday night's game against Oklahoma
State, was name the All-District 5 basketball team Wednesday by the U.S.
Basketball Writers Association. McPipe will take his 15.6 scoring average to Kansas
City's Kemper Arena tonight at 7:05 against the University of Missouri in Big Eight
semifinal playoff action.
The UNI. men's gymnastics squad will
face the number two-ranked team in the
nation. Louisiana State University, tonight
at Baton Rouge.
UNL. 3-5 for the season, lias faced three
top-10 teams m the nation in the hist five
weeks. UNI lost to number one-rated Ok
lahoma University and suffered losses to
Iowa State University and Southern Illinois
University, both rated in the top 10.
Against Southern Illinois. UNL. was led
by freshman all-arounder Barry ' ok who
scored career highs in the floor exercises
and the still rings.
After the Iowa State dual, the Huskers
will prepare for the Big Eight Gymnastics
Championships at the Sports Complex,
Saturday at 10 a.m.
The UNL women's tennis team, which
defeated Kansas State University last
weekend, will host Iowa University and
( reightori University at the Sports C orn
plex. Saturday at 10 a.m
The defending Big Eight Champion .
which have a KJ dual record, are led h
Joyce M( Vicker and Sue Slohnth who won
their doubles match last weekend
Aftei being named to the United Press
International All-Big Eight first team. UNI
guard Brian Banks was placed on the se
cond team of the Associated Press' All-Big
Fight basketball team.
Teammate Carl McPipe. who received
honorable mention on the UPI team, was
named to the All-District 5 basketball team
selected by the U.S. sportswriters.
Rd Cross
on yon.