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After three long years of s'Jcnce,
Richard M, Nixon will drastically' reveal
the naked truth to t waiting world this
week.
While superhuman efforts have been
made to keep secret the contents cf this
innocent
bustancfer
initial interview with David Frost, a trans
cript has naturally fallen into my hands.
At the risk of destroying the suspense,
excerpts are reprinted here.
Q - All right, let's have a big round of
applause for our next guest - Dick Nixon!
Have a seat on the couch, Dick, and
welcome to the show. '
A- Thank you.
Q - Dick's written a great new book,
folks, and I'd sure urge each and every one
of you to rush out and get a copy. It's
called. . .What's the name of it again, Dick?
A - Well, we don't have a title for it
yet, Dave. But I will say that it's auto
biographical. Q - To tell the truth, Dick, I haven't
had a chance to read it. It's about crime,
isn't it?
A -1 am not a crook!
Q - That's too bad. Willie Sutton's
book really sold. What's yours about then?
Simple story
A- Let me say in all humility that it's
the simple, down-to-earth story of how a
poor boy from Whittier who couldn't even
afford to buy a fur coat for his loyal wife,
Pat, or his faithful dog, Checkers, grew up
to achieve peace with honor in Vietnam,
avert war in the Middle East and save man
kind from a nuclear holocaust.
, y , un. wen, ai leasi u s noi aooui
Watergate. You wouldn't believe the
number of books coming out on Watergate
these days.
A - In t!l honesty I must tell you that
I do mention, in passing, Waterpte
schly because I felt it my duty to put to
rest once .and for all vicious rumors and
innuendoes and lay the truth before the
American people.
Q - You mean you didn't do it either?
A -1 am glad you asked that question.
While it is true that certain tape recordings
. which were in my possession would, whe
taken out of context, seem to link me with
graft, corruption, subornation of perjury,
income tax evasion and conspiracy to
commit burglary, bribery and wire-tapping,
I am guilty, at most, of an error in
judgment, -
Q - In not burning the tapes?
A - In being overly-loyal to Bob
Haldeman and John EhrHchman, two of
the finest public servants who were ever
sent to jail.
Amusing hobbles , .
Q - Well, that's very interesting, Dick.
Tell .me, do you have any amusing
hobbies?
A - Let me say this about that. Many,
people have asked me how I could have not
known what was going on in the White
House. Well, let me make one thing
perfectly clear: graft, corruption, perjury,
tax. evasion and conspiracy were not in
my department. I was in charge of peace
with honor.
Q - Sounds like a great job, Dick. What
do you think about women's lib?
A - And if I hadn't been hounded out
of office by the vengeance-seeking
media. , .Oh, they've always been out to
get me. They hate me. They.
Q - That certainly sounds exciting,
Dick. But I'm sorry; our time's up. Thanks
for being on the show and good luck with
your new book which is called. . .Oh, that's
right, it doesnt havea title yet, but it's
about. . .Well, it sounds very interesting.
(Copyright Chronic! Publishing Co. 1977)
This WeaioTiiB First Nixon-Frost Interview
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What can you say when you say good-bye?
Deadline was an hour ago and I'm just getting my final
column in. Providing it gets across the editor's desk, the
resulting mish mash will be in its usual place in the Reg
tomorrow. Page four. Up yours, Paul Harvey.
So what's happening? Real soon now the 1976-77
academic yea will be awarded its rightful place in the
annals of the University of Nebraska. Get ready to cheer,
folks.
I've been here for four years and should at this point
start dredging my head for fond memories of those years.
Put I won't, because the tally marks on my credit hour
scorecard haveni quite added up yet Won't max out
until next year. Another five-year wonder.
At least, I won't be back here. Writing is too much
work, and besides that, after an entire semester of writing
this dumb column, I stUl don't have anything to say.
Fooled ya, didn't I?
In fact, this whole semester has been so devoid of
meaning that a friend of mine decided to do something
about it. He went to the acknowledged Holy Place of the
City Campus to seek the Truth of Life.
Strenuous climb
The climb to the top of Oldfather Hall was strenuous.
He would have waited for the elevator, but he wanted to
finish over the weekend.
He knew he was reaching the top when the snow
reached above his knees. There was a lot of wind, too. It
seems they had the air-conditioning on, or something.
On the top floor, sitting next to the elevator shaft,
take
your time.
everlasting Cream-Filled center."
"Doesnl sound very nutritious."
"Besides that it's fattening. So
SesHfdCt crut " "
A sudden blast from the air-conditioner buried the
guru in a seven-fact drift. My friend had to dig him out
again, and then he asked:
"What is the meaning of the university?"
"Huh? You ask a lot of meaningless questions, kid."
He thought for a moment. "How about this: The univer
sity is a microcosm of the Cosmic Cupcake. Each semester
the souls of the students are reincarnated and have to
varp nini
he found his guru. He was sitting cross-legged in the
snow. '
"Will they never come?" the guru asked. He held out
his hands in supplication.
"The elevators. Tve been wsiiirghers foi forty years."
The guru stroked his long, white beard. "Never mind. I
suppose the coffee machine's still out cf order anywzy."
He assured him that that was true. I csrne to leam the
meaning cf the universe," he said.
"Ch, thst. Actually I'm only a retired philosophy
professor, but 111 try. How's this: The universe is like
ir.to a Hostess Cupce, zrd we havs yet to reach the
ASUN szlzrios
Let me get this straight. While living like a rat in some
scroungy basement, nearing starvation, part of the so
called "student fee" extorted from me this year has
gone to pay the likes of Bill Mueller and his henchmen a
"salary"?!! That is the most preposterous thing Fve heard
in along time.
Never mind that he may have helped himself to more
than he should have gotten in the first place a minor
crime by comparison.
And now Greg Johnson has the audacity to suggest a
substantial further increase in this waste.
When barely 10 per cent of the student body partici
pates in the election, the other 90 per cent are obviously
making a much more powerful statement. I think this
farce has gone on long enough. If ASUN was an animal, it
would be shot and put out of its misery. Apparently it's
not going to go' awzy if we ignore it.
John Buckley
LcioZZ'fs honorcifum
Whether Madame Letelier's honorarium was modest or
not, or whether it went into her own pocket directly or
indirectly (such as to the Institute for Polky Studies)
makes no difference. She is free to speak anywhere she
mry please, but the University of Nebraska need not
subsidize her.
E-l Rer liberally makes - use cf the word
"education," yet education means a process thst
begin all over. Only after the great god GPA says so, may
tney graduate.
"That sounds good. Then what happens?"
"Then they attain Nirvana and go out into the Real
World."
"Some reward."
"It's the best I can manage, like I said, tske your
time." The guru stood slowly and punched the elevator
button. To his surprise it came, and he left, going up.
Enough! I can't keep this up forever. This looks Eke
the end, anyway, so IH just stop here. See you later.
And whatever you do, take your time.
iir -ii iBh fiiiiiiwiiiniiiiiiiiniiipiiiiiiii 1 1 ipiniiiiiiiiii i i urn
incorporates the use of impartiality. Surely Mr. Regier
cannot be so naive as to believe the questionable state
ments of Letelier's widow or more importantly to believe
that her honorarium will really be used to uncover the .
facts about the assassination. The Institute for Policy
Studies is notoriously slanted, and will make use of any
funding it receives to whitewash the suppressive nature of
Allend's regime, which Letelier worked for, and to extol
Letelier as simply a man seeking justice.
Regier speaks about the nation's regrettable use of tax
money to support police states in Latin America, J et he
does not realize what is going on in his own university. It
seems that it is permissible to usurp tax money from a
student body as long as it supports either BUI Regier's or
a select committee's personal political philosophies; surely
this is a facet of the police state.
r Donald Orton
Appreciation deserved
Regardless of the final outcome, certain students
deserve our appreciation for their work in providing
reasonably priced parking at UNL.
Ken Marienau, an ASUN cabinet member, personally
developed a $30 parking permit fee proposal which could
save UNL students, faculty and administrators $50,000
next year. Mike Gibson, RHA president, has spent many
hours talking to parking administrators and writing letters
in effective attempts to give student input about parking
fees. Craig Moya and Mark Pfeffer and the 3,700-odd
signatures they collected both informed of a
possible parking rate problem and warned parking
deciaon-makers of the consequences of a large price
increase.
A3 these efforts show just how much active, con
cerned organizations and individuals can accomplish at
this University. Because cf them, we won't be paying $50
or $45 next year for parking permits.
EiaOuki